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  1. We all do it. We make or join games and love them so much, sometimes we start as Admin, other-times we move up the ranks to do so. At some point we all realize that we're no longer members. It occurred to me recently that as an Admin on a site you don't get to have the luxury of freedom that members do. There is so much gained when you become an Admin and we all talk about how great it can be, but I want to take some time to talk about what we lose when we do it and how we can deal. .... I'll start. I noticed that in our communities we all become very close. We become friends and allies and we make great games together, but as an Admin I'm somehow separated from that even though I'm the one pulling the strings. I'm THE BOSS and there's a sort of hush that comes over everyone when I appear near the drinking fountain. I no longer get the luxury of being human. I am now an other. There are now consequences to me showing personal weaknesses, or admitting that my responsibilities and RL work are hard and that I'm struggling. It was this way for the admin before me and it is that way for me, and I don't have hopes that it will be different for the admin that come after me. How do you all cope? What do you do to reconcile that some of your community doesn't see you as a person, or as equal to them? What do you to to combat the feeling of being excluded, or manipulated by the communities that you serve? I do my best to write more for myself. If work/life/admin life is hard and I don't have anyone to talk to I distract myself with more responsibility. It's not as fun as having group threads or even one-on-ones but I find it to be very soothing to write just for myself, or to write behind the scenes for things that may come up in the future. What do you all do?
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