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Anonymous

 Membership How long do you wait for a reply?

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Approaching a month waiting on the person I'm writing with and feeling a bit frustrated so figured I'd ask the question: How long do you go with waiting for a reply? Personally, a week or so I can handle but when it starts approaching the month mark I start to get annoyed. Mostly because I start to forget what I was doing in the thread to begin with. 

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I ask the person if they're still interested at the 2-week mark. If there's no reply to the thread by the time a month rolls around, I ask an admin to archive it. For me, at that point the other person is either too busy to write with me or doesn't want to and is probably hoping that I'll forget that I was waiting for them to post. Maybe check to see if they've posted a LOA or seem to have ghosted on the site? 

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If I know the player is still around and interested, I'll wait forever. 8D

 

One of my besties hasn't posted in 3 years. She's been having a rough time IRL, but we still visit each other and talk about things and game together! I'll wait until she's ready. I know she's still interested! Things are just rough and that can fuck with your inspiration. I get it. ❤️

 

My husband can sometimes go a month or so before a reply. We go through spurts where we'll just rapidfire for weeks! And then we'll take a break. His inspiration is more fickle than mine, but I don't mind! Once it hits, it hits hard. xD

 

It's been about half a year for another partner, who is also going through a hellish time. Once again, I'll basically wait forever for her.

 

But if like, a member just up and poofs, I'll basically move on after a couple weeks if I haven't heard back from them. But if I'm still in communication with them and know they're still into it, I'm endlessly patient. I have over 100 characters and dooozens of threads, all with partners who post at speeds varying from "once a month" to "weekly" to "daily" to "INSTA REPLY 5 MINUTES AFTER YOU REPLIED!", so I can keep entertained just fine. 8D

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As long as my partner is keeping me updated as to why they aren't posting, I'll wait for them. I have went months without replying before due to life stressors making it impossible, but I actively communicated with each partner I had before it went down. If someone just disappears with no word though, after a month to a month and a half I leave that thread/interaction in the dust.

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I can wait several months for people who can't post. But I know they will return, I know we'll finish the thread, and I know the thread's basic idea, so I can consider it accomplished when I move to other threads which happen afterwards. 

 

When my co-administrator was deployed in Afghanistan, I waited for her 8 months to return. I guess this was the longest.

 

If the writing partner just disappears without a word, after 2-3 attempts of contact remained without answer, I finish the thread on my own or, if suitable, I invite someone else. There are many cases of vanishing writers where the threads got saved and continued to a proper ending by inviting some other character or NPC in the thread.

Edited by Elena
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It depends on how well I know the rper, and whether or not they're communicating with me. As a general rule, I tend to get bored once it's been about three weeks to a month, though I can be understanding as long as I know the person is still interested and wants to continue the plot/interaction - otherwise I just assume they've lost interest and drop it. No point in dragging things out forever lol 

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I generally wonder if they are okay at about the month mark if I haven't seen them. But I usually will leave a thread waiting indefinitely and if they reply after months, I'll toss a reply back. ^^

 

I do lose momentum if threads take forever. But I'd rather slow and steady and good, than not happen at all. 

 

(I'd definitely reach out to your rp buddy if their speed isn't working for you.)

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It very much depends. I'd say in general, after a month of no replies, I mentally check out from the thread. If my partner is actively communicating with me OOC, or if I know something is up, I'll wait for as long as necessary - the longest I've waited was for six months, because my partner was recovering from a health issue during this time and we were keeping in touch OOC. It may not be resuming that specific thread, though, since the month mark often has me losing momentum for that one story line. But I'll be happy to start something else off when they come back.

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I'm a bit too socially awkward to ask about replies. It generally makes me feel anxious, or like I'll come off as a jerk because I don't know why they aren't replying. I don't do 'plot-critical' threads with people that I'm not very, VERY sure aren't going to just stop replying without warning. And of course if I get warning, I'll wait forever. 

 

I've had a couple times where this came back to bite me. I joined a board because my friend had been a member for years, and we started writing. My character was deeply tied to their's, I got the character involved with another member's as well. Then, the two of them (my friend and the other member) had a massive falling out. The other member left, and my friend dropped off the face of the earth. I held out hope, but eventually she missed too many activity checks and was archived.  I ended up re-rolling the character and starting those plots over. 

 

In the few cases where the person has stopped writing with me, but seem to still be active otherwise, I tend to just ignore it. If it was plot critical, maybe I'd say something. But usually I'll just wait forever and start other threads with that character. All of my characters have multiple threads with different people. 

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I will wait forever if they ask me to. I don’t mind. I’ll hold out until the character is archived for inactivity, then wrap the thread up on my own. 

 

I always try to plan ahead for that tho by having multiple plots ongoing. I do my best not to write myself into a corner where my char is depending on one person to continue their storyline unless I know I can trust that person not to poof. 

 

But it if it’s been 3 weeks to a month since the last reply, I’ll deffo check in with them. 

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I'll wait for someone to reply to a thread for as long as that thread still makes sense for my characters. Exactly because I usually have my characters in multiple threads and multiple plots, sometimes if my rp partner takes a long hiatus, my characters won't be at the same point in their lives as they were before. Maybe the location doesn't work anymore. Maybe they're not in the same mindset. Maybe the thread just really isn't that useful anymore and I won't be so interested in it.

 

That said, even if at some point I stop waiting for a specific reply, I'm always willing to get something going when people come back! Even if that particular thread wouldn't really work for me anymore, we can do anything from tweaking the plot a little to starting something completely new!

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For me a week is normally my limit (as that's normally when I expect to be poked about things). Sometimes I'll go longer with RP partners like @Dragon because what we do is we cycle through our current interests and we come back to threads that one or the other of us (normally me) lost interest in it. I'm pretty sure we have about 10-15 threads that we cycle through our interests on, most waiting on me.

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I'm of two minds here. One, I hatttte waiting for posts because I'm a greedy bish. But I also am horrible at losing threads every once and awhile. Sometimes (it has happened) I've missed that it was my turn, and literal weeks and months can pass and if no one grabs me by the scruff of the neck like DUDE WHAT THE HELL. I will not even remember. Which is why I tell everyone I thread with. ALWAYS tell me if I've missed you, cause I'm running events, and 9 characters, and plots, and have upwards of 30 threads on the go sometimes. And I'm dumb. So please communicate! Always!

 

Yeah, so just tell them, you're waiting, and if they want to drop the thread so be it, but don't leave you hanging. That sucks!

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