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Morrigan

Things I stress about as an admin...

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Three things stress me out as an admin:

 

1) The mom and pop game. Where you say "no" and so the player goes to the other admin and gets a "yes" or  a "maybe" thus sucking away any authority you might have had to start with. I'm then left with always questioning if I should lay down the law or make a choice at all because I never know when my decision is going to be undermined by "mom."

 

2) The Fussy Customer. I always get seriously nervous around the players that hit me up for every little thing like they want to be hand walked through the reading of the lore, the current overarching story line, and the profile process. Because usually that means they're going to ghost or, after you've put in all that effort, announce the site isn't for them and its because they felt smothered by you.

 

3) When the writing dies. Basically no postings and the only activity you see is people posting advertisements. You want to be patient as an admin, not rush players who have lives of their own, but as the weeks go by you find yourself wondering if its even worth looking at the site anymore because it gets depressing.

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Respice Finem

 

Can be found causing mayhem and intrugue at Dawnbreak.

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To me, roleplaying is a way to validate myself. If my roleplays fail, I feel like I'm a failure and I'm a bad person. It's unhealthy and I should probably go to therapy for these self-esteem issues, but there it is. I feel like I can't say no to my players because they're my friends, and if I say no to my friends they won't like me anymore and I'll be mean, bitter, and alone. And when I do say no, they push and push and push and push and push and I can't. I wish I had the courage to ask them why they think they're so special that they get the privilege of second-guessing the story's internal laws of nature!

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Glub glub.

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Plots particularly  sitewide plots and events. Either I've seen them be an absolute success, players get excited and the story snowballs into something awesome, or they end up an utter flop the admin team feels like they are doing all the work for little reward. I've not yet figured out if there's a science or logic to what takes or doesn't take, so whenever an event thread is made, I'm sitting wondering if it'll work until the replies actually come.

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My Characters can be Found on Toyhouse
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Currently seeing relaxed discord-based rps

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My biggest fears are that people misinterpret me and then use that to validate poor behavior on the site. I'm a big personality and I fear constantly that every sarcastic assinine thing I say will get misinterpreted and used to hurt me later. (Seriously if I didn't think I was so funny I would just stop).

I also always worry about people taking things personally about the game. It is a game for me, even as an admin, and though I take a lot of time, money and effort into making it an awesome game, I'm not going to let it rule my life, so I always feel really shit when people come to me because others have hurt them over something so stupid as a game.

 

I just want people to be nice to each other and not cheat so I fear that my rules are not tight enough and that someone else will come along and find another skeezy way of getting around the rules to do something meanspirited. Oof. 

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I obsessively worry that people see the different species and staff-started Big Plots and think that they must adhere strictly to the guidelines - DESPITE a zillion statements to the contrary. In that same vein I worry that people take a glance at the lore, forge questions in their head, and instead of ASKING for answers to the questions they just "tap out" because they're afraid of looking stupid asking administration about any of the finer details. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make my Lore easier for people to understand if I don't get feedback from New/Prospective Members as to what they don't understand?


A major worry is that because I'm not available 24-7 to spam IC post the board, people see that the last IC post was 2-3 days ago and say "Oh well, dead site" or "Oh well, not active enough". Despite the fact that 5 of our 7 members are all registered on the discord (and answer quickly when people come on) so it's not like there's 2 people trying to pretend they're 12 people. Many times, there's a member who IS rather active, but just needs an as-active partner to come around and give them a chance to prove how active they can be. I get depressed and worried that RPing has 100% become a culture of "Staff must Do all the Work, just like a tabletop game". 

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Definitely the problem that we can't get any members and I can't figure out why. I look at the site many times, requested multiple site reviews and I still don't know what might be wrong it - and that's driving me nuts.

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I worry about whether I'm posting too much and whether I'm too keen to post with people that people feel swamped. 

 

I worry about whether or not they will like any changes made or if they will think that it is a waste of time. 

 

I worry that people will negatively compare how much I used to be able to post and how much time I used to be able to dedicate to the site. I physically can't anymore. Although it has come up before and it is pretty frustrating. 

 

I worry they will see how long the site has been around and will just think they don't have a place, and can't get involved in the community. 


 
 
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Active, fun, established 2008! Come join us. 
Aeterna Roma

 

 

 

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- Borking the code during a late night/half asleep edit and not knowing how to fix it.

 

- Coming across as mean when I explain some of the restrictions we have. It's difficult to say 'no' and sound nice, at least that's how I feel about it.

 

- Making sure new members have at least one active thread to play in. Even if that means I have to do the initiation when there's those types who just sit on their hands and don't make the effort themselves. I still feel bad about it and will make the effort to offer them a thread. It often means I can have a dozen threads to reply to daily, which to be honest is far too much for my liking and makes me irritable/stressed. But I do it because if I know someone doesn't have a thread and is lurking, it stresses me out even more that I'm not being welcoming enough.

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On 11/24/2018 at 2:12 AM, Honorem said:

- Coming across as mean when I explain some of the restrictions we have. It's difficult to say 'no' and sound nice, at least that's how I feel about it.

 

^^ This.

 

I used to find it so hard to explain restrictions and used to be too leniant in bending the lore of the site to accommodate new members because I was terrified people wouldn't stick around if they couldn't rp *exactly* what they wanted to rp. Now I get frustrated if they leave because of that but I don't bend so much. I work with what the site's lore allows and work out as many different plot options for them as I can that meet what they're interested in doing. If they aren't willing to meet me half way then I have to say no. It's really hard. But we have nearly 70 members now so I have more confidence that what I'm doing is right and I feel more able to say - "sorry, it's a no, because if I change XY and Z it's actually going to cause a problem in the lore for all these other members..." I feel like I'm more able to stand my ground because I'm standing it *for* other people, not just because I'm being an admin on a power trip (which I'm always worried people will think).

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On 11/9/2018 at 10:49 PM, Kazetatsu said:

Plots particularly  sitewide plots and events. Either I've seen them be an absolute success, players get excited and the story snowballs into something awesome, or they end up an utter flop the admin team feels like they are doing all the work for little reward. I've not yet figured out if there's a science or logic to what takes or doesn't take, so whenever an event thread is made, I'm sitting wondering if it'll work until the replies actually come.

 

This. That I (and my other admin) spend time crafting some creative long-term storylines for the game but no one hops on board or they fizzle out on their own, regardless of all the deliciousness we offer up. I so feel this.

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Thorns: Uprising
A Unique Victorian Fantasy Play-by-Post RPG
Carefully Re-Crafted and Officially out of Beta! Come write with us.

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