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Things I stress about as a member...


Morrigan
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Express things that you stress about as a member from wanted ads, to personal stresses to things that make roleplaying difficult... etc.

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BLUF: Other players stress me out as a player. Because ultimately its the personality dynamic/drama level that typically makes or breaks a site for me. For specifics I've given below in no particular order... and yes, I gave these player types little nick names and this is is written in a semi-humorous tone.  

 

1) The Clique. When it becomes painfully obvious the already existing players have decided who they're going to play with and I'm left putting characters and posts out there with the hope that they're interesting enough to at least get some notice. I get visions of being in the lunch room back in junior high where I'm left wondering where I should sit and if I will be welcome. If I can't make any headway with the clique I stop bothering.

 

2) The Admin's pet. They're not the admin per say but boy do they hold a lot of power over the admin and they will use it, oh yes they will. I've been shoved out of a forum that I helped pay for because of an Admin's pet. I've been cursed at for the mistake of calling an Admin's pet the wrong gender pronoun even after I apologized for the honest mistake. I see one, I run away from it and the site, immediately.

 

2) The Bodice Ripper. I've harped on this before but I really do not like the people who want to pre-game a romance between their character and yours then get super obsessive on the topic.   I've encountered two such players so when I see the warning signs I tend to get super nervous about a blow out and hook up all my characters with NPCs or make them non-romancable.

 

3) The Showboat. Everything has to be about the Showboat, All. Of. The. Time. Either the ever expansive monologues about how wonderful their character is, how clever their story lines are, and heaven forbid you try to get a word in edgewise about your writing to do something as silly as plan stories. I can take a Showboat in small doses, I mean everyone loves talking about their characters, but after a while I'm left nervous about even trying to broach plot with them because if their characters aren't center stage I might as well piss up a rope.

 

4) Therapy Seeker.  Now, I like to think myself as a reasonably compassionate person... my personality type is ISFJ (the guardian) so I'm naturally prone to want to protect and comfort folks... but then there's the person who may indeed have problems but has decided to bring it to the site chat for the attention. They won't know me from Adam but boy will they tell me about how crappy their lives are. And their lives are always crappy because despite their life being crap they're not willing to do anything to alleviate the issue(s). When I'm around a Therapy Seeker too long I'm left emotionally drained and we never do get about to writing... ever. Also, they suck the life out of all the other writers as well because everything has to be dropped to listen to/comfort the Therapy Seeker.

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Respice Finem

 

Can be found causing mayhem and intrugue at Dawnbreak.

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I tend to worry that I haven't read the site's lore well enough, and that if I mention something it'll turn out that I'm wrong. Like in an AU fandom site, referencing some specific town and finding out that in this particular AU, that town was destroyed in an event and I just missed it somehow while I was reading.  It leads to me obsessively reading every little piece of information I can find, even if it means having to read through 4 years of misc. updates just to be in the know. 

 

I also tend to worry that my writing isn't Good Enough™, but that's just the impostor syndrome talking. I don't call myself a Writer™ because I'm a Programmer, and I can't say I've ever even had the inclination toward writing a novel (like for NaNo). So seeing other people's lovely flowing works and beautiful prose always makes me wonder if they aren't just rolling their eyes every time they get a reply from me and wishing I was better. 

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I stress that the writing partners might vanish mid-plot, that I might step on toes, etc.

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How overpowered is overpowered for this setting? What can I do to make my character unique and silly while still respecting the GM's vision? Will the other players like me, or will they think my character is a pointless distraction?

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Glub glub.

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When threads stall into low momentum mode whether because the characters are poorly matched,  one player only reacts but doesn't add to the story, or keeps saying no instead of yes-and (no is ok occasionally, but that no needs have a purpose), or characters are just talking too long and need a bit of drama that neither player feels safe to create . I'm not the best at plot pushing and making dramatic things happening myself, so its really hard for me to turn around a stalling thread.

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How my characters will be received, and if people will be interested in plotting with them?  

 

Finding ways to incorporate site lore into my character's history, so I can have them feel as if they belong in the world that the staff has created.  

 

If I'll be able to meet the activity requirements.  

 

Other members, in general.  Will they want to plot with me and discuss ideas with me, or will they show no interest.  If I throw ideas at them, will they respond back or keep me waiting and waiting.  Or if we do plot, then I'm always nervous that they might vanish or lose interest.  

 

Integrating myself into the community.  I feel like this is always one of my biggest problems, and it goes with the members in generals as well.  I worry whether or not I'll be a good fit for the community, or if I won't be able to get plots or write with people because I don't chat in the c-box/discord as much as others.  I worry if I will interrupt an ongoing conversation by saying hi, and people will get mad at me or if they'll just continue on talking without acknowledging me. 

 

Deciding where a plot should move after a certain point.  Once a thread finishes or reaches a certain point where its time to start thinking about what happens next, then I start to question how I should bring it up with my writing partner.  I suck at approaching people and asking them because I never know when is a good time to ask them about what to do next.  Or for romance plots, to keep in contact and discuss how the relationship has developed since the last thread ended to when the next begins.  

 

 

Edited by crystal raven
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If I'll ever fit into the site;

 

If my characters are interesting enough for anyone to want to plot with them;

 

And, lately, if I'll find myself banned if I say 'no' to a ship by an admin.

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Shady McShaderson

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generally do not allow anything RPG to overly stress me out. Things still come up, but usually I just deal with them and move on. This is not always true and @Garmr touched on several of my RP issues as well so I will not repeat them. ;)

 

I do worry about making my sites pleasant, lore and information easy to find, and that my members are happy and getting what they want out of the RP itself. I am the only admin at the moment and I feel like everyone expects me to write with all of them all of the time. I don't think that's true, it's just my worry-brain taking over.

 

Over and beyond unexpected issues, my view on roleplaying now is that it is an escape and creative social outlet from real world stresses. Getting upset over imaginary characters in an imaginary universe does not seem productive and I avoid it if at all possible. I am a strong believer in keeping the drama in the stories and not behind the scenes.

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Someone somewhere went to sleep and dreamed us all alive.
Dreams get pushed around a lot, and I doubt if we'll survive.
We won't get to wake up, dreams were born to disappear.
And I'm pretty sure that none of us are here.
~ None of Us Here by Jim Stafford ~

 

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  • 2 months later...

I worry I'm a boring person and that my ideas are boring, and that no one will want interact with me or  thread with me as a result.

 

On the flip side, I worry I'll get bored. I like fluff sometimes, but most of the time I want to feel like my character is making progress, that they're working towards their goal, or- even better!- that other characters are working on achieving their goals and that mine might be collateral damage in their grand scheme! If I feel I can't do this or feel like my characters aren't under any threat, I get bored.

 

I worry that I can't tell if I'm being unreasonable, or if I should really stick up for myself. If I decide to stick up for myself, I still doubt myself anyway and think I made the wrong decision. (I've been spending a year working on getting better at this though, and thankfully am making progress.)

Edited by Josie
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  • 2 weeks later...

1. Cliques! You don't have to roleplay with every character on a site but you don't have to ignore the fact that they exist either! I always try to be the one who kind of 'open their eyes to other options' and I end up getting hurt in the long-run.

2. When most of an otherwise-good-site are seeking ONLY romance plots on a site that clearly doesn't revolve around love (the exception being soul-mate themed sites where arranged marriage is a norm and whatnot). IT bothers me because I'll feel like the only way I can join is if I start playing their requested lovers. -____-

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  • 2 months later...

OMG what DON'T I stress over? I am constantly worrying about stepping on toes. I've had characters with chemistry get me all excited for plots only to realize there was already a planned plot and my character is unwelcome and sidelined. Aw. And then there are times when I pick up a want ad and feel like I made it correctly but I'm not surrrre? So I second guess the way I'm playing the character without any reassurances and then feel like shit, I didn't do it right after all! No! I will go out of my way to check all the names so I'm not using a name already in use. I get so embarrassed if I end up with a double name even though it doesn't bother ME, I know it bothers some other people. I stress over the social aspect. Like... I'm not that active in discord and only occasionally in chat boxes. So I feel like people think I'm antisocial. I'm really just... awkward af and don't know what to say. lol I worry about making requests, like do I make one early on? Or do I wait? Does it look like I joined to push my plot on people? Agh. I don't know man but I second guess EVERYTHING.

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Reality is an illusion. 


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  • 1 month later...

This is a mix stress and confession, but, I'm really quick to ditch a site if I get any bad vibes from staff. In my time roleplaying I've seen so many psychopathic assholes in positions of power that I've just been burned too many times to give someone second and third chances. Admins posting a member's real life name and e-mail address in a server and then mocking their concerns about being stalked, saying it's my responsibility to make someone bullying like me because they're an established member and I'm a newbie, kicking me for "activity" even though I post more often than them, calling me by slurs for asking "dumb" questions, posting questionable comments or jokes, self-identifying as petty or assholes or hard to get along with, etc. Sometimes I kind of feel like a flake but I'd rather safely escape than limp away after being proven right. So the big thing I stress about as a member is getting attacked or stalked by staff and it kind of makes me sad tbh 

Edited by Jaxx
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7 hours ago, Jaxx said:

This is a mix stress and confession, but, I'm really quick to ditch a site if I get any bad vibes from staff. In my time roleplaying I've seen so many psychopathic assholes in positions of power that I've just been burned too many times to give someone second and third chances. Admins posting a member's real life name and e-mail address in a server and then mocking their concerns about being stalked, saying it's my responsibility to make someone bullying like me because they're an established member and I'm a newbie, kicking me for "activity" even though I post more often than them, calling me by slurs for asking "dumb" questions, posting questionable comments or jokes, self-identifying as petty or assholes or hard to get along with, etc. Sometimes I kind of feel like a flake but I'd rather safely escape than limp away after being proven right. So the big thing I stress about as a member is getting attacked or stalked by staff and it kind of makes me sad tbh 

 

That is awful and creepy af. I'm sorry you have such bad experiences with admins. :( 

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Umm... That my writing isn't good enough. That my characters are all too much alike. Why is it so difficult to plot with someone other than my writing partner?

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