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What Makes You Stick with a Site?


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Everyone has their preferences and requirements for the sites they join. Staff members especially know how difficult it is to snare in those loyal members that are in it for the long haul.  So, as members, what is it about any given site you've joined made you decide to stick with it long term or even to the bitter end? 

 

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For me, as a member, it is the people I post with that usually keep me at a site. If I get into the flow of posting that will keep me coming back. Activity for me is key. There have been a few sites that I stay around because they changed their theme and design often and I loved seeing what was new.

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― Michelle McNamara

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Two things I want in a site, and if I find it, will usually make me stay:

  1. I want to feel like my presence is valued. Often, I'll get that "Nobody stays anyway so I'm not bothering with this one, because they'll be gone soon anyway," type vibe from a community, and yeah, I bet they don't when you vibe that way. I understand people get tired of others coming and going, but going that little extra stretch to make someone else feel like they're not just an obligation really makes a difference. I actually really love places where I'm spoken to like I was always there, not like I'm the new person. So the community staying nice and friendly even long after I'm no longer the shiny new person is A+++.
  2. Communication. I'm a very honest person, and I really appreciate open communication and honesty from others. So when I find a site that openly discusses things between its players, grievances are brought up respectfully and handled maturely, dissension is neatly worked out, and the players are just as excited as I was when I joined about the place, boy that sucks me right in. I love finding places that have that established culture of talking things out, because to me it means that when I have a concern, it won't get swept under the rug and I won't be shunted and ignored because I spoke up. Further, that consistent excitement in the community keeps my own going. I don't like being the last person aboard the ship; I have been many times, but it's unpleasant and I don't like doing it. The overall excitement to do things not only keeps my own running, it also helps assure me that I'm not going to end up pulling an entire site myself eventually. (That's so tiring, you guys.)

So, yeah. ... on a more shallow note, I like pretty sites and I find them so rarely (I am very picky) that a site that hits the mark but doesn't hit any of my nopes will usually keep me.

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I am the darkness, always watching, always listening, ALWAYS THERE.
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People who are friendly OOC on the discord or Cbox.

A site with an admin or staff that seem like they're in it for the long haul. Of course, everything can change, but if an admin doesn't seem excited about their own site or lore or history, or I've seen them open and close so many sites in space of time, I'm not going to be interested in sticking once I've realized that. I don't want my stories to go poof in the night!

 

Someone who plots with me OOC! I'm game for some 'meet and greet' and 'throw characters together and see what happens' threads, and I will always do those with people if they are up for it. Not every character is going to meet time and again and sometimes its one time interactions... but I get really involved when someone tosses out some kind of story building progression idea once we've realized we like playing together as writers. I don't want to do a million threads where it's just meet a new person and that's that... need something to further progress story line and develop characters and build relationships between them whether that's friendly relationships or some insidious enemies.

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+ RPing with other members is a comfortable flow, that I'm treated as a member not a Noob. 

+ Not being pressured to post every/other day ( I can take a week to a week and a half because of work fairly regularly - I'll still be on the site, just no emotional energy to post ICly)
+ Administration doesn't exempt themselves from their own rules or otherwise give off the "power flex" vibe. 

 

If these three things are met, I shall stay as long as the site is running for the most part. 

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Building friendships. I can love everything else about a board, but it won't hold my interest unless I feel like more than a cordial acquaintance.

    

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Maturity and respect.

 

This can come in multiple forms but when staff members respect their members' suggestions. Members showing respect to staff as they make changes or choices that are for the benefit of the community. The member to member communication where, if something comes across rude or upsetting, instead of getting (understandably) emotional, giving the other person respect enough for the benefit of the doubt - that they didn't necessarily mean to come across that way.

 

Basically the simple understanding that everyone person you speak to is a real person with real feelings and that you are trying to communicate over the internet, in text, which can cause upset or butting heads.

 

Just taking all this into consideration and having a community that does the same will keep me somewhere. Because everything else comes from this - an understanding of how often you like to post, good communication for plotting, a maturity in the character development. If someone can maintain the right perspective OOC then they have a level of maturity to give you everything else you're looking for on the IC side. That's been my experience anyway 😄

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1. Having plots with people. While I'm friendly, I go on sites to write. Making friends is a side effect - a nice one, but I can live without it.

 

2. Not be ignored by staff or actively made to feel unimportant. I don't need staff to be all over me, they can do their thing and I'll do mine. But being told 'your character isn't relevant anyway' (yes, it has happened) will send me packing from the site.

 

3. Not a huge deal breaker, but having a fun community feeling on the OOC chat spaces or Discord server. People don't need to be close to everyone, but a friendly environment where you feel like everyone is just relaxing and not looking for drama is key.

 

4. Not being pressured for plots I don't want to do. I'm open to anyone asking for any plots, but if I say no, it's no, and we can all move on and do something else.

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Shady McShaderson

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  • 1 month later...
On 12/1/2018 at 8:44 AM, clipsed said:

Building friendships. I can love everything else about a board, but it won't hold my interest unless I feel like more than a cordial acquaintance.

I can't stand this esp with the admins.  I'm really friendly, very easy to get along with, but I've joined sites where even after saying hello to everyone and introducing myself they acted as if I didn't exist.

 

A lot of people like to plot with me, I'm not too picky and one of the worst experiences I had was an admin who made my life a living hell because people would thread with me? It was very strange! There were two admins and one of them loved me and we plotted while the other would send messages to me saying I should not plot with such and such anymore because they have a thread and they're replying to me more than them. It was really weird. I was there for two years and left because it became such a huge deal. "Accidental" blocking my IP, would twist words, say i said something negative about someone...weird.

 

I make a point to try and talk to everyone of my members, because of this. I'm thankful though, because of that it has always stuck with me to be very courteous and respectful.

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I want to have connected with some people in the community, a few people I can have long term stories with early on.

I want to feel like my ideas and input are respected.

I want to feel like the staff trusts its members, and won't watch their content with hawk eyes looking for rulebreaks.

Edited by Kazetatsu
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The community hands down is the #1 thing I look for.

 

1. I want to be able to get plots. This doesn't mean I just sit in the corner and expect people to dish out plots. If I actively go and seek out plots and no one is really biting, then the community doesn't seem very welcoming then. It will seem like the community has their own stuff going on and isn't really open to outsiders.

 

2. I want to be able to have conversations. If I can't get on the discord and have a conversation, then I am not going to stick around. If I am actively trying to participate and constantly being shut out, eventually I am just going to let you shut me out and go find another place to play.

 

3. The staff. The staff is a very important part of a community because they direct how the community acts. If they are not being welcoming then the members likely won't be either. So, if I come across a staff team that is rude or makes me uncomfortable, I will leave every time. I want to be able to trust the staff team, because if something happens I want to be able to come to them with my concerns.

 

So, for me it's the people and how they act. If they are welcoming and friendly, chances are I will stick around for the long haul. The community is definitely the make or break for a site I am interested in, and this is above all of the other things that I prefer (like aesthetics, real fcs, no activity requirements, and no word counts).  Sometimes all it really takes is a good community for me.

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  • 3 months later...

The people. Part of two amazing sites that I'm lucky to admin. When people are so into each other's plots, even if they're not involved, and having whole discussions about these characters makes me fuzzy. 

 

The staff itself doesn't need to cater to me, but they need to sound and be genuine. I've run across some staff that seemed to forget I was a middle aged person behind the computer and talked to me like I was five and it was my first day in kindergarten and the following weeks after. Never seen so many emojis in my life. Left soon after that.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I stick with a site when I love being there, like the members are great and staff are amazing. A good plot always helps as well, but the people are the main reason I stay. 

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  • 1 month later...

A few things:

1. Activity. If the site's dead and I feel like my activity and the activity of like 3 other people are the only thing keep it alive, I'm probably going to leave. Alternatively, if it's wicked hard to plot with other players, I'll prob leave, too.

2. Mature & Polite Staff. If you're abrupt and not very personable with your members, it's not gonna send a great message to newcomers who already feel strange about being in a new place. Drama needs to be at the minimum, too. Shit happens sometimes, and sometimes you can't tuck it under the table, but a site shouldn't be causing and revelling in drama all the time. Generally, a staff that has its shit together. I've been fortunate enough not to have any staff horror stories, but I don't doubt that they're out there.

 

3. Interesting plot + interesting characters on board. I need to be able to be engaged. If you're an open-world wolf RP, nah. Too vague / boring for me. I need something to be unique about the site for it to grasp me. For example, SoulsRPG which I called my home for 8 years, post-apocalyptic wolf shapeshifters. Heck yeah! That's something different + it had its own lore! 

 

4. Good writers / roleplayers available. IDC what skill level you are, I need your writing to be up there with mine to have fun. It's an extra plus if you're better than me and I have something to learn from you.

 

5. Stuff to explore. For RPs with simpler plots, I need something that grasps my attention - whether that be posting goals with worthy prizes or free shit for my character the more I go, I just need something to help me keep going.

 

 

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^ What Sammiie said!

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