Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

Advice: How to reject a wanted character?

Recommended Posts

I recently spent five days combing through this site to develop a character that fit in the many layers of head canon the admin created on top of the original canon. I found what I thought would be a fantastic little spot for me to settle in and plot. Things seem great. I'm really excited for some plot ideas between my character and another that I briefly mentioned in my app because they are important to who he grew up to be and I expressed that there may be a romantic connection between the characters. Before my app was even seen by admin, someone decided to stake claim to my wanted and created an account + 5 day reserve for the canon, as the site is canon only. First red flag was that they did this with absolutely zero communication to me. No messages. Nothing on discord. They just stalked my app for an hour and decided that my wanted character was theirs now. I could be paranoid, but I was careful to pick a corner of the site that is mostly barren so I could have some plot wiggle room and the chances that this person just decided to make the canon that I was going to request two hours after I post my app after stalking it for an hour is too coincidental for me to believe it was just happenstance. While I don't think this person is a poor writer, my second red flag is that they have 5+ characters and most of them have 2 posts max. The account with the most posts has 3 and a couple only have the one post of their app. My rp partner who isn't into this genre told me that it should be a reflection of the site more than on the writer, but when I look at this writer's threads they are the one not replying. 

So here is my question: Assuming I even bother writing the ad, considering the canon is in reserve now, how would I go about letting this person know that I'm not into it without being too rude about it? I appreciate the enthusiasm and I am super flattered that my three sentences worth of vague information about a character was enough to elicit an immediate must-have reaction, but... Am I being too picky? Reading too much into it? Changing the canon for the wanted would mean completely rewriting my character because of the way the plot is setup, and I selfishly don't want to do that. My rp partner says to just keep going and see if it works out but that means committing the part of the plot I was most excited to develop to this person who has a track record of not actually threading past one or two posts. My flight response is kicking in and I'm more tempted to just ask to have my character deleted and cut my losses, but I got called a drama queen so I am reaching out to you all first.


Please send help and cookies.

Anonymous poster hash: 81d4f...a32

  • I read this! 3
  • Love 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Do I think that too much is being read into the situation? Yes, but also no. Let me first say that the way you are feeling is entirely valid. Do not doubt your feelings or try to downplay them, even to yourself. You are allowed to feel the way you are feeling and it is okay to feel this way. If something gives you a bad feeling, you 100% should do something to remedy that.


But I do think that some of the assumptions being made about the other player are unfair- because they are just that. Assumptions. You don't really know this person. The number of characters they have and the number of posts those characters have are meaningless in determining the kind of person that this player is. While on the surface they might seem telling, they're not. Yeah, I would find it kind of weird that they go and make a character from your character's backstory without saying anything to you first- but maybe they come from a different RP background where talking with others about these things is not the norm, or they were just so genuinely excited they didn't consider that it might make you feel uncomfortable. 


In addition to this, there is something else to keep in mind: absolutely no one can force you to write with this person. Even if they make that character- no one can force you to write with them. No one can force you to act out that plot with them. It might mean that you lose that plot, but it could also mean that you could just adapt it in a different way, with a different character. It's entirely within your right to do that just in general, but also because this person didn't communicate with you about your wants and needs. I, too, would not be too keen on writing with them for just those reasons.


But I do think that talking with this person would be beneficial, and so I would tell them what you have said here. You have already kindly and clearly stated that you are uncomfortable in the way this character was put in reserve/made without talking with you first. You need to then tell them what you need from them in order to feel comfortable. If you 100% don't want to write with them, you can nicely say that.



Hey NAME, I just wanted to talk with you about WANTED CHARACTER. While I am very flattered that a few lines about a person in my character's backstory inspired you, I feel uncomfortable with that character being taken before I could make a wanted ad for them/talk about them with you, and I don't feel comfortable writing out this plot with you right now. I am sure that it wasn't the intention to make me feel this way, but I would like to have the chance to write out the wanted ad(s) and plan things more first before moving forward and would appreciate it if an application for the character wasn't written yet. Thanks, NAME.


Or, you know, whatever else you need from them. Just be honest and direct. It sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and a kind heart, and I believe in you! 🙂

  • Agree 2
  • Love 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

This person reserved a character connected to yours without a word to you? No. Hell no. That raises all kinds of red flags, especially since your app wasn't even approved yet. And to me, the lack of posts from this other person is another red flag. 


However, I wouldn't cut them out of the picture immediately. Try talking to them first! And if things don't work out from there, just tell them that you don't think the two of you are going to mesh well and ask them to drop the reservation. And to be honest, if the staff of this site were to approve both characters even though you'd asked the other person not to, I'd leave immediately. 


I don't think cutting your losses right now is the way to go, though. Give them a chance but don't be afraid to set your boundaries if this person ends up being more stress to you than they're worth. Could be that they're a new roleplayer who doesn't realise the misstep they made. Are you overreacting? Maybe a little bit, but I think it's coming from a realistic place. 


I think if you keep the lines of communication open, and clearly express what you want from this person and plot, that things will resolve themselves. Either the person will shape up or they'll drop things. And if the person has never gotten far in their other threads, to be honest, they might not be a problem for very much longer. They could slip away on their own. 

  • Agree 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

Honestly I agree with half of what Josie said and I disagree with the other half. Firstly, I don't think your assumptions are unfair. If its clear that a writer has multiple characters and isn't writing for any of them, its a pretty blatant sign that there really is a red flag. There are lots of people out there who love apping and creating characters and plots and backstories but just... never follow through and actually write anything. And thats all well and good, but not always fun for the person who genuinely wants to write. Given the person never reached out to you in the first place its not unfair to be cautious and concerned, especially if the character being taken will end up being integral to your ideas. 


As to the other 50%, that I agree with wholly. Talk to them, or at least try. Be clear about your hopes and potential expectations. Because this plot follows canon characters, things can sometimes feel a little sticky, especially when relationships are canon, however, don't let that stop you from being honest about what you were looking for and the direction you were planning to go. 

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I think there are a lot of kind ways to tell someone you're not yet ready to fill that wanted ad, but it sounds like you want to turn this person down specifically cuz you got a bad vibe? If you just have bad vibes about this person you can tell them flat out, or you can try to get rid of those bad vibes by talking with them and seeing what the dealio is! 


You have every right a few conversations from now to decide that this person isn't right for you and you can turn them down then and/or make a new wanted ad. It will hurt, but most people will understand that sometimes they are not a good fit for what you're looking for, but I'm still in agreement with many of the others that you could probably talk with this person and see if they just really want to play with you!

Edited by Zahhy
cuz out the junk
  • Agree 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Sounds like someone likes your style but might be a little shy. Unfortunately, it also sounds like they may be a poor match for what you intended.


This sounds like a good time to come up with a Plan B and C. We can’t control other players – the best we can do is be clear about our expectations so that everyone involved has their greatest chance of finding what they’re looking for.


Flight risks make you uneasy. It’s understandable that this person’s post counts have you bracing for disappointment. It could be they just haven’t found the right character for their groove yet and yours was going to be ‘the one’ – but there’s optimism and then there’s the odds of it actually panning out well. It sounds like this person hasn’t shown enough staying power for you to be comfortable taking a major role in your character's life.


Does the application have a note to contact you before grabbing up a character? If so, that’s frustrating to have ignored and another point on why this arrangement’s not going to work out. If not – I’d stick that on now that you realize that it’s important to you.

You may want to implement a character post count minimum and/or mention you’re looking for someone who’s a regular poster as well.


As it stands, things have already gotten off to an awkward start. Approaching them with your reservations has the chance to steer things onto a more promising path. It also has the chance of becoming an uncomfortable confrontation... but what’s more uncomfortable: stewing in frustration as this player sits on your dreams (or you preemptively rip said dreams up to keep someone else from disappointing you), or an up-front conversation that establishes early on whether you two can both agree to some ground rules?

By Wit & Whitby

[Plot] | [Rules] | [Wanted] | [Discord]

18+ | Victorian Era | No App | No Word Count |

PoC & LGBT-friendly | Newbie-friendly
Link to post
Share on other sites

You don't know why that person hasn't been posting with their other characters. And I don't think it's fair to assume anything. Maybe they just don't have someone to help them keep their muse amped up for those characters to keep things going? Because I've definitely been there. Like 98% of the time I need to have someone else excited about a plot to keep me interested and posting. But you'll never know if that's the case if you don't talk to them about it. I'd probably just send them a quick dm like "hey i saw you reserved --canon!!! do you wanna plot or....?" which is a pretty innocuous dm, but you can see if they had anything planned or whatever.


a dark, urban fantasy;

inspired by sailor moon

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.

  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Guidelines and Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.