Jump to content
Search In
  • More options...
Find results that contain...
Find results in...

When you've been ditched


Recommended Posts

So there's a member on our board that's been inactive, and every time we check in on them, they say they've just been busy with life and  too stressed to write. Today, while spreading our ad around, I stumbled upon a site in the same setting as ours and get curious to see what's different about theirs and what's the same, so start checking things out. Lo and behold, there's the member of our board that's been AWOL, and they've been posting there regularly. I feel betrayed. I'd rather they just tell me they've moved on to another board and don't want to play with us anymore than to keep stringing us along with excuses. I want to confront them, but I hate confrontation... and I don't even know what I'd say. I'm not upset that they ditched us, it happens.  And usually without any communication. I'm upset they weren't honest with us, telling us they'd be back and they just didn't have time for RP. Ugh. I don't know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach.

  • I read this! 2
  • Love 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Don't worry, I didn't think that your initial post reflected anything about who you are. 💖

 

When my writing friends have semi-ghosted on me, it really does hurt. When it comes to friends though, I always think it's worth keeping positive lines of communication open. There's usually a reason and we can usually address it in a productive way.

 

I hope that all goes well between you both!

  • Love 4

 

sig.png.30b42565d04d922988370bf14e1447bc.png

PSI: an Occult Investigations RP

Roleplay Architects: Grab a friend (or many friends!) and just write.

You can also find me at:

static-historicalrp.jpg  B8CB4x.png rpabutton.png

Link to post
Share on other sites

Abandonment always hurts, but lack of sincerity hurts more. I know the feeling.

 

I believe in writing on several sites, as long as you can keep up with them, and when you can't anymore and you have to give up one, in being upfront about it. Staff and writing partners know better how to go on with the plot and to tie up the loose ends you have left behind, if you say you have left.

 

There haven't been many cases when I had to give up a site. Usually they closed down before me leaving, or at little afterwards. I think only one remains active after I left, and it wasn't an easy decision to leave. I hadn't lost interest; I had lost free time and sanity, due to other things happening in my life. But when I realised it wasn't getting better, and that I had to decide on leaving, I told everybody that I left, and why, not to believe that anyone of them did anything which made me go. It wasn't them, only me...

  • I read this! 1
  • Like 1
  • Love 3

cdadimage2.png

m75X5G.jpg

TC8kNCH.jpg7A5bb.pngsmallfrisson.gifaffy.gif SSbuttonnew.gifTIT7dF.png

Link to post
Share on other sites

You can't do a great deal about it and although it's sad to lose a member, you can't really stop them from going on to other sites and posting on there instead. Let it go. Concentrate on the member base that's active. There could be reasons why the other site suits the person better - the story might be closer to what they are looking for, their friends might be on it, they might have meshed in better with its members than they have on yours and these aren't things that you as an admin can really do anything about.

 

I've been on sites where the staff who was supposed to have been writing with me didn't respond for months and got pretty annoyed about it only to find that they were making another site, so it can happen to members too. In the end though it's just not worth confronting them about it because you don't really have a say in what other people do and if their absence is not hurting your board does it really matter? (I think staff not being on the site is more hurtful to it.)

  • Like 1
  • Agree 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been on both ends of things here. It is frustrating. 

 

I've been on friend's sites where I have struggled to maintain activity for whatever reason. I love their sites, playing and supporting them. I may have lost muse or have run out of spoons or my own site may have gone through a busy period. I also hate disappointing people and I lose track of time, so it could easily end up being a month without me noticing. The person may fully intend to return and post. Although I wouldn't put too much thought into it either way. Focus on the active plots and members that you do have. It is easy to get caught up with the negative sometimes. 

 

From an admin perspective, it can be pretty frustrating and you can feel like they are stringing you along. It is okay to be hurt and angry about this. After a time period, you can archive their stuff and move on. Focus on the members you have there now and enjoy things. ❤️ 

  • Love 3
 
 
bzC3QQ.png  
 
Active, fun, established 2008! Come join us. 
Aeterna Roma

 

Sites I am on; rpabutton.png 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

It hurts when this happens! I agree with what others have posted, and it is great advice so I won't repeat it. I do have another thought that occurred to me though, while reading this.

 

Although I am in no way accusing you of anything or trying to make you feel anxious, it's possible they weren't upfront about it because they didn't feel that they could be. Even when you're close friends with people, sometimes there are subjects that are just tough to bring up. Either way, the best way to show that it's not! @Viscount Rhi-Rhihas some great dialogue advice going on there, but your friend also isn't likely to think that you're stupid and haven't noticed by now, so saying nothing also works if you feel you can get the situation off your chest that way too.

  • Agree 1
  • Love 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 3 weeks later...

If they're not being active, treat it like you would any other ditcher. Archive account or whatever as per your site policy happens, problem solved. No point wasting your time anymore.

 

Doubt they'll crawl back and ask why, since their interests have gone somewhere else.

Edited by Honorem
  • Great Idea 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Guidelines and Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.