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Anonymous

When is it time to move on?

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I don't really feel like part of the community anymore.  I don't have an issue with anyone, but I just feel like I can't get involved. I have difficulty involving myself in plots, which caused me to drop from a handful of characters down to two.  I have a couple of threads left, but no actual plots with anyone. I don't know if it's worth sticking around anymore.  I'm afraid to leave since I've been there for so long and I like the board as a whole.  I guess I'm just lost.

 

When is it time to move on from a roleplay?

How do you know you're not making a mistake in leaving?

Do you have any advice that might help me to better involve myself in the community instead of just lingering on the fringes of it?

Anonymous poster hash: 4efb0...32e

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So, I can't tell from this post where the weight of the issue lies heaviest. @Arceushas already made a good point about why not to stay somewhere that's heavy on your shoulders, so here's a flipside.

 

Is it obligation alone that keeps you there? Are there things you can still get nostalgic about, but don't remember how you got there? Can you identify what's holding you back from getting involved in plots?

 

If it's that you've gotten stuck and didn't realize at some point you stopped doing the things that kept both you and others going, that can often be fixed. Read back. Retrace your steps. Reach out to people who have ideas you're currently or have been interested in. Read, watch, listen to things that inspire you, and talk about them. It's easy to assume that people aren't going to be interested in our plots, but what's left to lose by giving people a chance to say 'yay,' 'nay,' or 'how about this instead'?

 

Whether you're staying or going, I hope you find solid footing in whichever path is best for you.

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I think if you're not having fun and it's been a while since you've been able to have fun, it's a good time to move on. If they're a good bunch, they will welcome you should you decide to come back. (Although I know the shameful feeling one has when coming back to an RP after a while...) 

 

If you really want to stay and the problem is lack of plots, try going after what you want. Put up some want ads or pick up an ad that interests you. If nobody bites the want ads, try posting the ads around resource sites. Maybe the current members don't have characters that fit the ad or maybe there isn't a current player that has interest in that particular plot. You can also try hitting people up via PM (only if they're okay with it!) and seeing if they might like to toss ideas back and forth, whether for existing characters or a whole new plot idea! 

 

I'm the same way; I need a plot to sink my teeth into. Threads are fine and good and all but they need to be headed SOMEWHERE. The real fun to RP is bantering about things OOC and coming up with ideas through that banter. If you don't feel you can do that with the people on the site, I think maybe that's the biggest sign you might need to find a new RP. Like you said, there doesn't need to be bad blood or anything. Just sometimes a group doesn't mesh well with what you want. 

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Reality is an illusion. 

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Imma come at this from a slightly different angle here because I think the above are all such good responses and should definitely be listened to. As the admin and runner of a site, I would say that the best way for you to be certain if you're made the right choice moving on from of a site is to let the admin/staff team on the site try to fix the issue, before you then leave. If you then decide that their best efforts on the matter don't fix it, then you can leave knowing that it was never going to work because the admin's tools/tricks weren't enough to keep you involved.

 

My advice would be -

Go tell the admin of the site what you just told us. Go and explain to them that there's no animosity, just a general "meh" feeling. If wanted ads, plot suggestions and putting yourself out there and all the normal ways to kick start muse aren't helping, then the admin staff might have something in their arsenal of tools that might help? They might have knowledge of a plot/character/member who you could kick start some stuff with, or they might have some wisdom regarding the progress and future of the site that you're not privy to that might help. So, allow them to come up with a solution for you.

 

I would like to think that an admin would take your issues as a challenge and something to help you progress through and maintain through - as we all get moments where the rp just isn't lighting that fire quite as hot as it used to. It's about how the site and the staff team can help you through that period and get you back to the fun stuff.

 

If the admin/staffer you speak to has no answer, doesn't want to know or offers solutions or fixes that aren't going to work, you can walk away with no worries. Because you know it was never going to work. This might help you have more confidence in your choice 😄 But it also helps out the site too. Members disappearing without explanation or without giving the staff team the chance to fix the problem (especially if they aren't aware of it at all) can be big confidence knockers. And, while it might not be the thought most prevalent in your mind right now (understandably), knocking the confidence of the admin/staff team of a site can have knock on effects to the community and site as a whole. And it sounds like, so far, you're all on good terms and you've enjoyed your time on the forum 😄 would be shame to lose that in how you decided to leave, if you did decide to leave.

 

So... yeah, that's it from a slightly different perspective if it's helpful... Just give the staff team a chance to rectify the issues. Even if they can't, at least you know you've done what you can and can walk away without bad blood or wonderings of "what if?"....

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21 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I don't really feel like part of the community anymore.  I don't have an issue with anyone, but I just feel like I can't get involved. I have difficulty involving myself in plots....I have a couple of threads left, but no actual plots with anyone.


In addition to what everyone else has said, I'm going to ask a self-reflective question: Is there something going on IRL that has you feeling a general disconnected and depressed funk outside of the RP world. Stress, heavy schedules, problems with RL friends/relatives/coworkers, work, sickness, allergies, lack of proper sleep, depression; all can interfere with a person's interest in activities that would normally bring them joy. If there is any chance at all that your difficulty in getting involved could be caused by a lack of interest due to simply a lack of ENERGY left to expend, I'd start here.

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If you want to stay for the chatting stuff  then stay. For rp stuff  either look for something interesting, or just use your characters in writing stuff.

Or do a rp / writing partner  request thing, and see what shows up.

Other then that not sure if not wanting to go on another site while staying on the said one.

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On 5/14/2019 at 5:13 PM, CovertSphinx said:


In addition to what everyone else has said, I'm going to ask a self-reflective question: Is there something going on IRL that has you feeling a general disconnected and depressed funk outside of the RP world. Stress, heavy schedules, problems with RL friends/relatives/coworkers, work, sickness, allergies, lack of proper sleep, depression; all can interfere with a person's interest in activities that would normally bring them joy. If there is any chance at all that your difficulty in getting involved could be caused by a lack of interest due to simply a lack of ENERGY left to expend, I'd start here.

 

This is fantastic advice. I think that sometimes, when we are struggling to make connections with other people and other roleplayers - like plots and threads etc, we have a natural desire to place that fault onto the community or site (which it very well may be!) but we also forget that roleplaying takes a good deal of effort on our own parts too. Less so when muse is high and everyone else is engaged, and more so if there is a natural lull in creativity on the site. If you're feeling particularly disconnected, it's likely that you'll naturally be putting in less effort. Not that this is all your fault or anything - I don't know the site or community or what you've been doing to try and find new connections and stories on there. But CovertSphinx is 100% right when they say that self reflection is probably just as significant and important as an analysis of the site ❤️ 

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