Wanted Ad Hogging

[Anonymous 234]

Just looking for a little advice on this. As it is something which has cropped up. And myself and the other staff are pretty sure there is not really a lot we can do about it. But any advice out there, we'd be truly grateful.

We have recently had a member join us, I think they've been on site coming up to a month now shortly. And any, and we mean any wanted ad at all other members place, they are taking. It has got to the point that nobody wants to place an ad anymore because they don't want them taking it. We do not have a word count, or character limit in place which is where the problem really lies as because of that, we can't really say anything to this individual. But all of their posts are under 200 words,   and we have a mix of members all with different writing styles. The members who average at least 300 -500 words, which honestly is the majority, understandably do not want them taking roles. And are afraid of upsetting or offending them if they tell them they'd rather them not take the ad. They tend to reply instantly ti threads too which also is off putting to quite a portion of members, as they prefer a slower posting pace so they are not bogged down with posts constantly. And get to actually feel caught up.

 

Any thoughts?  It's a tricky one, as really, they are not doing anything wrong.  And they are active with everyone they make. It's flattering really that they want to keep bringing characters to the site. But people want other people to take their ads. And we'd also like for wanted ad's to bring in NEW members too.  I've thought myself about capping the number of characters people can make now. But other staff are not so keen on that. Same with introducing an official word count. As they think word counts are off putting to potential new members.

Anonymous poster hash: 44549...b2d

[Somniac 207]

This sounds like a difficult one. On one hand, their enthusiasm is great. On the other hand, it's killing other peoples' enthusiasm.

 

On the plus side, you're noticing a part of your system that's not working for everyone and it's an opportunity to fix that.

 

People might get and understand more of what each other want if you add a couple of fields to the Wanted ads: 1. do they have a word count requirement? and 2. do they have an activity level preference? The latter especially.

 

That said, if your site culture leans toward  a word count that someone is quietly looked down on for not meeting it, I think you'd do your site culture a favor by stating outright that posts are preferred to be 300-500 words. Plenty of people do prefer that, and better that people know that up front rather than get invested in and then blindsided by something that's not going to work out.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Somniac

[Arceus 1,082]

Quote

[...]or character limit in place which is where the problem really lies as because of that, we can't really say anything to this individual[...]

No.

This is bullshit and everyone needs to stop thinking this way because it is flat incorrect.

 

Your site is your site. That means, if you find problematic behaviour, you are absolutely allowed to stop it. This is like saying, "There's no sign on my door that says not to knock everything off the coffee table, so I can't tell this person in my living room knocking things off my coffee table isn't okay." Do you see how stupid that sounds? This also feeds into how overkill it is to impose a rule on everyone to stop one person. It's pretty overkill.

 

Get your staff pants on, and ask this person to slow down. Something to the effect of, "Hey, we're really glad you're so excited to be here, and we're super glad to have you, but we also want to leave openings for other players to get in on the plotty goodness, so perhaps you could leave some wanted ads for other players to take." And if they don't, stop asking nicely and tell them outright to stop. If you end up asking them to leave, don't be too upset about it; if they can't listen and respect other people's boundaries, they were gonna get toxic sooner or later anyway.

[Jaxx 317]

Have the other members told you that they don't want this person taking their wanteds, or is that something you're assuming/inferring from their behaviour? Have multiple members specifically stated to staff that they don't want this person writing with them or taking their wanteds? In that case, if you really feel the need to address this situation yourself, I would say it would be within your rights as staff to send a PM to this person and politely ask them to not take wanteds in the future. Maybe put it more diplomatically and ask them not to make new characters for a bit because you're concerned about them overloading themselves. 

 

But honestly? My advice is that you tell your members to be adults and tell this person that what they're doing isn't working for them. Is there a chance that the want ad hogger will throw a temper tantrum? Sure! People are assholes sometimes. And if that happens, warn or ban them as the situation warrants. Even the best staff can't solve every problem for their memberbase and this is honestly something that is your members' issue and not yours. They need to try settling this on their own, and then come to you if things escalate or can't be resolved. Conflict can be scary sometimes, and there's probably no way to say this without your newbie's feelings getting hurt, but that's life. 

 

If this is a whole lot of characters, chances are they'll burn themselves out in another couple weeks and disappear from the site. I've never seen someone join with half a dozen or more off the bat and avoid getting burned out within two months. Could just be a waiting game. But it also sounds like there's some communication issues and this is ultimately a problem that doesn't need staff intervention yet. 

 

Also 100% agree with Arceus. If things do progress to where staff intervention is needed, don't think there's nothing you can say about this behaviour because there's not a rule against it. If it's disruptive to the group, it needs to be addressed, rules or not. 

[Morrigan 1,826]

What @Arceus said. Plus, you need to empower your members. If they feel uncomfortable or don't want someone taking their wanted ad they need to speak up. If they can't say no then they shouldn't be looking to the staff to say it for them. I assume they are adults and they should be able to say. "Thanks for your interest but I'd prefer another player pick up the wanted ad right now."

 

While I appreciate that you are defending your players you shouldn't be the first step. You should be the last. It should be "Member to Member > Member to Mod > Mod to Admin > Member to Admin (If no mods or members are having problems with mods)"

[Let-make-nice 39]

On 5/31/2019 at 6:41 AM, Somniac said:

People might get and understand more of what each other want if you add a couple of fields to the Wanted ads: 1. do they have a word count requirement? and 2. do they have an activity level preference? The latter especially.

 

This seems like a great way to avoid future problems like this with this one particular individual, but as many others have said, member to member seems like the step that has been skipped.

 

I find difficult to believe that one could just make a want ad without talking it out with the OP and getting their agreement to things, so this means players have been kind of soft-spined about it. It's okay to say no gently, after all.

 

And if your Want Ad Hogger can't take no for an answer without turning into a drama llama, well... maybe you don't really want them on your site anyway.

[clipsed 231]

If a member brings this issue to you, encourage them to say something to them. Offer to help them write a polite refusal along the lines of, "I really enjoy our threads/character interactions, but I'd love to spread the love a bit 😎 Thanks for the interest, though - maybe next time?"

You as an admin should not need to be the go-between in what is a fairly easily solved member problem, however helping them find the words they need is a way you can be beneficial without crossing that line!