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Anonymous

I'm not really gelling with my members

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So this is kind of a weird one and hasn't ever happened to me before. My site is 2-3 weeks old and we have a good few members now who are active in the discord and who have created characters (but haven't created plotters, used the discord plotting channel, or anything really even with my encouragement). For some reason ... I don't really get along with them? It's not that they're doing anything wrong, it's just that they feel very different to the kinds of members I usually come across on boards of this genre, if that makes any sense. I find it hard to talk to them in the discord and make conversation even if I try to intitiate by asking them about their characters and plot ideas. Sometimes they'll start a conversation, I'll reply (because omg is this progress??) and boom, I'll get a one word reply or an emoji. I'm starting to not feel that excited about the site anymore which sucks, because I love the premise. But if I'm not enjoying my member base and if I don't feel as if any of them are interested in plotting or threading with me, I don't really know what to do. Lol! Anyone ever had this experience before??

 

I'm a very chatty person and over the last few years of running sites, I've always gotten along really well with 98% of my members. So now that I don't feel comfortable with ANY of the people on my newest site, I have no idea what the best course of action is. 

Anonymous poster hash: f8ea3...766

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Man, what a bummer. Sorry this is happening to you. I'm sure it makes you feel very helpless, which we all know sucks.

That said, I do think there are some things you can do that might help.

  1. Stay the course. It's early days and you've had this little setback, but you loved this idea and there's still time to get things to where you want them to be.
  2. Set the tone. Keep on doing what you're doing -- Engaging folks in discord (and wherever else). Keep being chatty. Project the atmosphere you are hoping for. Also, reach out one-on-one to some of the players and ask for threads if you haven't already done so. Get things rolling.
  3. Consider making the plotter a requirement. Because it's so early on, you could probably do this with limited disruption. And honestly, if folks leave over it, they're probably not going to be the sort of engaged player you want or need at this stage.
  4. Recruit, recruit, recruit. If these folks aren't going to be the sort you prefer, you've got to find others to help you push the tone and atmosphere you want for your site.

Good luck, I hope it works out!

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It sounds like these folks aren't really committed and are already on their way to slipping through the cracks and off the site. You get what you put in, sometimes!

 

Requiring that they participate/plot/plotter won't really help in this case.

 

Keep on advertising and getting new members. Work on giving those members an exciting plot or event.

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Ouch! I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Starting off a new site/roleplaying is already stressful enough without the added disheartening realization that you're not vibe-ing with the people currently involved. I carry similar worries that something like that will happen on my own site, and man. That stuff will keep you awake at night.

 

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I have to agree with Keaton and xexes. Reaching out as best you can and doing your utmost to recruit new people to your endeavor may be the best way not to just attract people in general, but to also even out the personalities of writers you're not quite getting along with with others whom you truly enjoy. 

 

If you genuinely love the premise and want it to succeed, I think it would be worth it for you to soldier through. It's also important to remember that your site is still very young. Although it's difficult to not get discouraged when things aren't going the way you envision, things can definitely change with some effort and patience. 

 

I hope things get better for you!

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Some people take more time to warm up than others, especially in a new community. Just be patient and accept what's given. If you can bring a friend over, modeling a dynamic that you are comfortable with in the public chat might help.

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Posted (edited)

It sounds like you're doing the right things so just keep doing what you're doing and hopefully the right person will come along that you can start some threads with and get the site looking more active! This situation sounds like a real annoyance to have to deal with when you're excited about a new site but try not to let it get you down. It's possible this may just be a slow period too and that things may pick up in another while again. 

Edited by Runa
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Original poster here.

 

In the last 3 days, a new member who I get on with super well has finally joined! Hallelujah. The discord is active again and we've got lots of recent posts on the forum. However last night a newbie popped onto the discord when I was asleep to say hello, and someone who lurks in the discord but hasn't made any characters on the site responded with, "It's a bit dead and like an echo chamber in here." Boom, newbie leaves the discord. : ( The thing is, if you scroll up immediately before the newbie joined, there's tons of recent conversation from only a few hours ago, plus lots of new IC posts on the forum itself. Should I say anything to this discord lurker about scaring people off in future or should I just sigh and leave it? It's just a bit frustrating because that attitude is the last thing I need when I'm trying so hard to keep the site looking active and welcoming. 

Anonymous poster hash: f8ea3...766

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Honestly i would say something to the person, just sort of take them aside and let them know that, that sort of stuff is not really okay, its discouraging to new members etc.  But yea its not something you really want because a lot of people look for different things, so what one person says is not active and what another person thinks are two different things.

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