How do I tell my admin they are taking on too much?

[Sammiie 40]

I think the only option for you to not be too invasive and in your admin's business -- you can suggest things like somehow promoting plotting between members more instead of every member wanting to plot with the admin. If other members start plotting amongst themselves, the fact that your admin is taking on all these threads won't matter too much. You can be a step in the right direction by trying and reaching to people, encouraging plotting between those you've grown close with, etc.

 

If there's anyway to give an anonymous suggestion on your site, perhaps suggest some changes to how members treat plotting, and maybe your admin will work towards encouraging the right things and fixing what needs to be fixed.

[graceomalley 26]

On 7/9/2019 at 4:13 PM, dragonborn said:

the long and short of it is, you dont.

 

gbh, if one of my members came to me like 'i think you're doing too much, calm down,' i'd be like 'basically, fuck you.' you are not me. you dont know what is too much for me, and it is not your business to be totally blunt about it. at first glance it sounds sweet and nice to be concerned, but after a longer squint, it comes off more like you're being ridiculously nosy and mildly controlling, and im probably gonna get flak for this point of view but i dont care. you do you, but you gotta let me do me. youre a member, right? if you think other people need to plot more, get other people plotting. put out some ideas. make stuff happen. dont just be like 'hey its a very real possibility you're running the entire shindig so like stop running the entire shindig.' bc you know what this causes? sudden site death, that's what. if your site's hard-hitter takes that step back, everything's gonna pretty much go kaput. ive seen sites do it way too many times to count and i know im not the only one. staff pushing people to do anything tends to result in them coming off like impatient tyrants, so it generally doesnt work. the community needs to decide, on their own, theyre gonna do the thing.

 

second concern here is, even if youre right, you could just exacerbate the problem by basically telling them, whether they are or not, that theyre not doing a good job by themselves. this, for starts, leads to some hurt feelings and quite frankly nobody wants to be told hey this thing that you work your rear off on, stop it. if youre not close to this admin and already friends, it can be really suspicious, too. there are a lotta different ways taking this to a person can go and im not sure too many of them are good ways.

 

it sucks, but sites dying is just kind of part of the experience. nobody has all the time in the world, or all the inspiration in the world, or whatever, and sometimes things dont work out. id ask who hurt you, but i know. reality sucks, but its still a thing that has to be dealt with, and not by making it somebody's fault so you can micromanage them into fixing it for you. if the site's gonna die, it's gonna die, and there is no one, sole failsafe way of predicting when and how it will. are there warning signs? maybe. but several sites ive had people tell me were doomed actual years ago are still going, so i dont put much weight in them.

 

all we can do is do the best we can to encourage it to live, whether we're members or staff, and i dont think blaming each other for it before its even happened is the way to go about it.

So I kind of share this sentiment.

 

I would appreciate if the member were simply concerned, but it would actually feel like a double-edged comment to me. I wouldn't take it as 'aw they're concerned,' I'd take it more like "What, do they not want me on my own site?"

 

You see, when I'm passionate about a site and create it, I dive head-in knowing that sometimes, I might need to be the main poster to help promote activity, and get people involved. I expect it, and I embrace it. I'm usually willing to do everything it takes to make sure things work out, and to have somebody tell me to slow down would just come across to me as an insult.

 

The TLDR is you should be careful unless you KNOW the admin. Some might take it well, but others such as myself might not. Basically, if you don't know the admin well, then you're better off keeping your thoughts to yourself.

 

The other things you could do if you're really worried and ONLY if you're willing to help, is I have had people in the past message me like "Hey I'm enjoying the site, Is there anything I can do to help you guys out at all?" And in that case, I'll usually respond with something along the lines of "I wouldn't mind having more members advertising, we do award points for it if you link me the ads!"