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Want Ad Etiquette


Deacon Frost
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I don't know if anyone else has had this happen to them; but it's happened to me on many occasions. 

I'll make a character and think about how nice it would be if they had some family or extended family and then I would put up a want ad for something like a sibling, half-sibling, etc. I'll give a broad strokes description of what kind of connection they have between the characters but I'll leave the personality, relationship dynamic, face claim, all open for the person to take the want ad aside from a few things I'd LIKE to see. 

 

So someone will come along and take the want ad, make the character that is theoretically connected to mine - but then once they start RPing they won't actually RP with me or specifically the character that the want ad was made for. Sometimes I've watched them play the character for months and been blown off every time I bring up a thread between my character and theirs with excuses on why they can't do a specific thread yet. 

 

Has anyone else had this issue where it seems like someone takes your want ad because they didn't have their own idea for a character but then been unwilling to actually play out their connection? 

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"Hey, I'm not happy with the fact that you've been refusing to thread with me after filling my ad. If you're not going to write with me, then I'm going to reopen it." 

 

I've had this problem multiple times and that's the only response I have now. Taking someone's wanted and then ignoring them or blowing them off is a dick move and I have very little patience with anyone who behaves like that. I also don't have the time or desire to listen to a million excuses, over and over and over again, about why they'll thread with everyone but me. It's easier for me to give them an ultimatum and then follow through on it instead of dancing around the situation and trying not to hurt their feelings or give them third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh chances.

 

I request characters because I want mine to interact with them. If that's not going to happen, I'm not going to shrug and give up. I'm going to be proactive and get that wanted reopened so I can advertise it and hopefully get a better partner. It's just common sense that you should write with someone if you take their ad and I'll never understand the mindset of ignoring the requester. 

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I made a character for a want ad. A sister. She’s been in a comm thread but that’s it so far. I’ve been waiting for other people to put her in a thread that will lead her to her sister. Maybe it’s something like that. But it’s weird they aren’t telling you any of that or communicating with you. 
 

I would definitely pm them to ask what’s going on. I’m with Jaxx. If they refuse to rp with you, tell them you’re not happy and that you plan to reopen the request if the people who take your ads don’t want to rp that connection with you. 

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Reality is an illusion. 


 
 

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I haven’t actually gotten that, and I think that’s for two reasons:

  1. I tend to be very up front about my goals when I solicit. This includes whether I have preferences on minimum turn-around time, what dynamics I consider crucial versus flexible, what I like, what I'd rather avoid, and potential thread premises to get their dynamic started and established.
  2. This one is crucial expectation-wise, but I treat my ads as more of a foot in to a potential plot door than the end-all be-all. We don’t know how we’re going to mesh as players. We don’t know how our characters are going to mesh. We’ve just got one more potential idea to test out and have fun with.

I’ve got a friend who likes some very specific things. Awesome. We hash out a point-by-point that’s satisfactory to us both. It works for us. Most of my other partners prefer a more fast and loose approach, and that works for us too. Each carries a risk: the first of becoming too predictable (but we also know each other well enough to go hey, let's change this up), and the second of it not going the way you would hope.

 

Confession: I have had plots go in ways I found disappointing, without anyone being at fault for it. As an exercise in both blowing off some steam and meeting my own interests, I’ve sat down and written short stories with similar themes for my own entertainment – but in a way I would have rather had the plot go. It has helped me identify the things I'm looking for, and make positives from the inevitable negative experiences. If you find you’ve got a specific way you’d like for things to go but it’s not being satisfied in a multiplayer setting, I’d actually highly recommend that. And then, if you're comfortable, talk about things you'd like to see go differently for next time.

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By Wit & Whitby

[Plot] | [Rules] | [Wanted] | [Discord]

18+ | Victorian Era | No App | No Word Count |

PoC & LGBT-friendly | Newbie-friendly
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At this moment in time it isn't a specific complaint because the person left the board; but I have had it happen on a number of occasions. Sometimes it's a plot issue where they come in, join an open thread and tell me that the plot gets too dramatic in their thread and they need to find out what happens before they thread with me. I can kinda see where they're coming from then but when it's been 4 months and they've only gotten 5 posts into that important thread I start to get a little grumpy.

 

Another big issue has been ghosting. People come in, claim the want ad, make the character, do the application... and then just never post. They don't leave the discord but they don't respond to DMs, they don't respond to PMs over the board; they just... sit there. Doing nothing. Until the activity check or interest check or just a month or two has gone by and I talk to the Admin and they reopen the want ad and basically send the person a message saying they missed their chance. 

 

But some people take a want ad and, for instance; My female character's older brother... okay; awesome. But then the hyper aggressive high energy (completely unreliable) plot person starts screaming for a thread. So big brother starts a romance thread to meet "the girl" and just never opens a thread for me or responds to a thread I make... and then of course the unreliable person does something flaky and the person who took the ad just ghosts the board. 

 

All of it just drives me mental on some level. 

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