Trouble on Past Sites?

[Spangles 35]

Okay, I thought I was posting this anonymously and I'm not so I'm heavily editing.

 

Is it ever fair to kick someone off your site because alleged bullying on another site?

 

Edited October 30, 2019 by Spangles

[Dragon 673]

50 minutes ago, Spangles said:

 

Is it ever fair to kick someone off your site because alleged bullying on another site?

 

Not really. What happens off your site is out of your jurisdiction. It isn't your job to punish people for past behaviors (certainly not if they've learned from their mistakes and made improvements). Especially if there is no proof. Entertaining he-said-she-said drama is a fast track to trouble. Not only does it run the risk of punishing someone for something they never even actually did, other players are going to observe this and potentially lose their faith in you as an admin. How are they supposed to trust that you won't do the same thing to any of them? Would you stick around a site if you thought any jerkoff could come along, make an unfounded claim against you, and get you banned? I'm betting not. 

 

Also, just since I read the original post before the edit - Player A is the bully in this scenario. Furthermore, they're disrespecting you and attempting to undermine your authority on your own site. They are actively seeking to cause trouble for Player B, who you admit no one else has any issue with. I understand not wanting to lose anyone, but based on what you've described you're better off without Player A around. At the very least, you need to approach them and make it clear that attempting to cajole other staff members behind your back is unacceptable behavior. 

[Deep Sea 326]

Depends on the details. In general, I'd say yes - you are the RP owner, and you have the right to reject people as you see fit. People might think you're a dick, but it's your game and you can run it how you want.

 

H O W E V E R

 

You use the word "alleged" - does the person bringing this complaint forward have any proof? Screenshots, or links to a thread? If yes and this incident was recent, then yes, I think it's totally fair to kick someone for poor behavior on another site.

 

If the incident happened more than a year or two ago, and/or there's no proof that it happened, then I'd personally let the alleged bully in, and say to the first player "I'm sorry that happened, but I'd like to give this person a chance since I don't know them. If I'm proven wrong, then I totally owe you coffee or something. I'll try and help you avoid them in the forum, too."

[Spangles 35]

11 minutes ago, Dragon said:

 

Not really. What happens off your site is out of your jurisdiction. It isn't your job to punish people for past behaviors (certainly not if they've learned from their mistakes and made improvements). Especially if there is no proof. Entertaining he-said-she-said drama is a fast track to trouble. Not only does it run the risk of punishing someone for something they never even actually did, other players are going to observe this and potentially lose their faith in you as an admin. How are they supposed to trust that you won't do the same thing to any of them? Would you stick around a site if you thought any jerkoff could come along, make an unfounded claim against you, and get you banned? I'm betting not. 

 

 

Thank you, Dragon. You pretty much articulated what my gut feeling on the situation is. But I'm not a massively experienced admin and this was one of those early upsets that kept coming back to me, making me doubt the deicision I made. But this is about the crux of it: I'm not the RP police.

[Nevermind 64]

8 hours ago, Spangles said:

Okay, I thought I was posting this anonymously and I'm not so I'm heavily editing.

 

Is it ever fair to kick someone off your site because alleged bullying on another site?

 

 

I don't think so. I've encountered numerous individuals in my years of running sites where I was informed, "So-and-so was banned from this site for this reason," etc. While that information is something to be aware of, it isn't fair to ban someone from your site for actions that you weren't there to witness for multiple reasons:

 

1. Even if the information is coming from a trusted source, you can never be 100% sure if the information they received isn't biased in some way. They could be leaving out important details about the event, the person in question could have a completely different retelling of events, etc. I have had negative experiences with other sites/roleplayers, and I'm sure if someone listened to what those people have to say about me, they'd think I was a complete asshole, whereas my version of events would be completely different. It's all subjective, so banning someone over heresay is iffy.

 

2. The person in question could have immense regrets over things they've done in the past and are attempting to make a real change/be a better person, etc. While some people don't change, many others do. You have zero idea where this person is in their life and pre-judging based on the past is unfair to their process.

 

3. What people do outside of your site isn't your business. You mentioned up there that you don't wish to be the RP police, and I completely agree with the sentiment. If someone breaks rules on your site and behaves inappropriately, you have every right to remove them, but outside of your area of control? Shouldn't be anything to concern yourself over. 

[Honorem 219]

As others have said, it's not fair if you only have hearsay and no actual evidence. Keep an eye out though, if it is true, you'll soon see their behaviour take a turn for the worst, and then you'll be in a position to nip it in the bud as soon as it starts. That's my advice.

 

I mean technically you can kick anyone from your site for any reason, you don't have to justify it to anyone.

[Prophetess 137]

I have to agree with the others. I've only ever had my one site, but I also believe in giving fair chances to everyone. What happens away from my site isn't up to me to police. If someone is toxic on my site though it's up to me to make the tough call and remove the problem. I still will give a fair shake though. As mentioned, there are some of us that have caught a bad rap and not everyone has the specifics, but we make an honest effort to change. Some just won't because they see no issue with themselves. They'll show themselves soon enough though. It boils down to giving someone a chance to go either way though. You might find yourself surprised that what didn't work for someone ends up being a diamond in the rough. But no, I don't feel it's fair to just ban someone over someone else's say so.