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Problem staffer turned ex-staffer, need some serious advice


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I have a tricky situation and I could really use some advice. Let me lay out the situation and hopefully you wise folks can help me out with it. I want to say that my site is known for welcoming people as much as possible. Only once have I actually had to ban someone. For harassment of all things. This situation in particular is tricky.

 

Several months ago, one of my staff had asked for an IC position. At the time I had no issue with it. Never heard another word about it after that. Fast forward about almost 6 months. New member asks for that position and I’m more inclined to give it to the member. Staffer hasn’t asked or spoken of it since they asked for it. I told the member I would speak with the staff and we’d go from there since they had asked for it ages ago but never followed up. I speak with the staffer that basically blows up at me because I was wanting to give it to the member and took no personal accountability trying to say it was my fault. So, I finally make the executive decision to give the member the position. Staffer has an even bigger fit and it starts acting all dramatic saying that they are “taking time away” blah blah blah. Staffer gets nasty with the member and openly hostile (while using the guise of “playing nice”). Staffer knows better than to drop a name of another forum openly in the Discord, does it anyway. Gets called on it by me and then has another tantrum. More drama ensues.

 

Open hostility continues. I finally demote the Staffer for the behavior and lay out exactly why it was done. Other staff stand by my decision. I told ex-Staffer that they were welcome to stay as a member and continue writing. Ex-Staffer throws a dramatic “I’m leaving” fit and posts about it in the public Discord. Then not more that 15 minutes later comes to me and says they want to stay as a member and keep only a couple of characters. (In the meantime, opening their own site and cloning all their characters from our site on that one with another member.) Another Staffer has posted to them and let them know, which that Ex-Staffer got petty with them over it. Ex-Staffer has only been sitting in Discord and doesn’t speak to anyone. Isn’t bothering with posting and it’s believed using our site to poach members for their site. The Discord atmosphere went from fun to near dead because they are there. And I’m trying to be the better person and give them a chance. I just can’t do it having a gut feeling they are using my site to poach for theirs along with seeing them active on their site.

 

So, I put it you. Should I just completely remove this person? Should I give them a time frame while watching new people possibly have to put up with them pitching their site in our Discord? What would be the best course of action for me to follow to end the drama and bring peace to the galaxy once more?

Anonymous poster hash: aa91a...e24

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I would say first, talk to your staff. 

 

Second, see what rules they have broken. Would you have banned someone else for doing the same things? If so, they have to go. If not, what would you do?

 

Third, activity rules. If they fall inactive, let them. And act the way you would with anyone else. Archive, etc, etc.

 

Fourth, you can't steal or poach members, so leave this thought away from your actions unless they are displaying rule-breaking behaviors. People will stay or go as they choose, or even be on both sites, and it's their choice. I know it stings, but focusing on behaviors and actions instead of this feeling would serve you well.

 

Now, what would I do? I'd be getting this person out, because they know better than doing all of that, and you don't need a rulebook to ban people who are toxic presences. But all of the above will serve you better if you prefer to thread carefully.

 

Good luck!

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Shady McShaderson

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Honestly, with that much messy history, all the bad blood accrued, and their propensity toward tantrums and self-promotion, I'd lean toward removing them if they continue to be problematic. If they aren't contributing to the site and are only proving to be a problem, I'd consider saying with all that has occurred, you do not think it is best for them to stay in the discord. I've had that experience before where I gave someone the benefit of the doubt to stick around the Discord if they wanted, and a trusted member let me know that they made an effort to entice them to their own site. I am all for second chances and being understanding, but sometimes, a pattern of problematic behavior is just what it is: a pattern, and unlikely to change.

 

I'm no expert, so take that as just my opinion, but at the end of the day, you and your staff do have final say of what you are and are not comfortable with having or dealing with on your site.

Edited by Pixel
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Sounds like they need to be banned from the site and Discord immediately.

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If I were in your position, I would remove the person from the site and Discord. 

 

Poaching is a non-issue. If people like your site, they're going to stay there. If they like the other person's site, then they'll go there, or they'll participate on both sites. Either way, it shouldn't be a concern. 

 

That being said, this ex-staff has proven they're a volatile, negative presence on your community. Their lack of activity, blow-ups, and hurtful actions show this. Your desire to give them a chance is admirable, but by what you've said, this person is squandering the opportunity to be a productive member of your community. If their presence is having a negative effect on your site's environment (which it seems to be if just them being there is killing the Discord), then they shouldn't be there. 

 

If you do make the choice to remove this person, check in with your staff members beforehand and relay your decision. Let them know why you've made this choice (the ex-staffer's history of attitude and behavior) and follow through. It sounds like you already have a great habit of communication with your team, so keeping this up will show that you're making this decision based on a destructive pattern of behavior and not petty grievances. 

 

I wish you all the best! These types of situations are never easy, but once you remove the toxic individual you'll hopefully feel a weight lifted from your shoulders. 

Edited by Nevermind
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umbra-galaxy.png

18+ multi-genre community. no application. no word count.

 

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I wish to thank you all for your insight and I appreciate it. I am giving it much thought and have chosen to remove the person. As was stated, there are far too many past issues to continue having them there.

 

I do wish to say that I may have erred when speaking of 'poaching' as it truly is a non issue with me personally. I spoke incorrectly about that as my concern was having a so-called member bashing us quietly in dm's (It's a suspicion not a fact based on prior behaviors) to sway others to leave or join their site. As with those I personally have nothing to do with for a myriad of reasons, I wish them well and hope all the best for them. But alas it's water under the bridge. 

 

One again, I thank you all and appreciate the guidance to help me do what's best for my members (current and future).

Anonymous poster hash: aa91a...e24

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