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Toxic Community?


Anonymous
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After a long break in RP I decided to come back, and after joining a couple sites that failed, I decided to make my own. A unique adventure, at least to me. As things went on I saw people changing and the toxic way things were being handled. So I invited a friend to come help me fix things. We bonded, but their paranoia started to get the best of them. They began to shift how things went, changing the narrative to better suit their needs. The best part was, everything they did was over voice, so there was no evidence for how things went down. Just a "well do you believe me or him" attitude.

 

This went on for some time until finally, that 'friend' disappeared for about 2 months, and I removed them from staff. They came back with a vengeance and with one of their other 'friends' began to campaign against 2 of my staff members that were helping me. After I was told I couldn't run this site on my own. Granted I have medical issues, but the site doesn't always have a lot of demands.

 

Regardless, after some fighting I finally talked to my staff, and banned 2 members from my site. My 'friend' and their 'friend'.

My banning process includes copying all of their application (minus code, and any species lore that is unique to my site) and emailing to the e-mail that they provided. If they were donating money for the site premium I blocked them from being able to donate further. 

 

One member that was going to leave for they were only there for my 'friend' I refunded the last 3 months worth of donation before telling them i refunded 3 months, and blocked them since they haven't rped in nearly 4 months. Though they were always welcome back.

 

Another member took their leave to follow them, which is their choice, I also reminded them that the monthly donation would be coming out soon so please cancel that so there isn't a mistake.

 

Since then I have found out they are contacting all my members privately to tell them to leave the site. My 'friend' that I have known for several years called the police to my actual house for 'endangering' my real life children. They filed it as a false report after checking my home. This is one of the most stressful and hateful things that I have ever encountered with a group of people. They are attacking my real life, and my site after they repeatedly broke the rules and were told why they were being forced out of the community. 

 

I think the worse part about this all is I am not even sure I want to run my site anymore, or stay in an RP community where it seems like this behavior is tolerated and the norm.

 

But hey, I'm the bad guy in all the right? Banned 2 people from a site for breaking site rules, triggering people, and not respecting staff.

Anonymous poster hash: 369e4...7b3

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Wow. So this 'friend' is fine with potentially messing up your life by lying to the police, all because they were banned from an RP? That isn't so much an 'RPers are crazy' thing, but rather a 'they are crazy' thing. Cut them out of your life, not just from RP.

 

As for the fallout from banning, it happens a lot. People gravitate towards certain writing partners, and are understandable upset when those foundations are rattled. However, that's not your problem. As admin you are there to create a friendly and welcoming environment for all, and if certain people are jeopardising that, they don't belong.

 

Don't give up. Keep trying, but learn from this. It's not a good idea to make friends staff just because you can. If they're responsible, sure. But if they're the type of person to be petty or hold a grudge, then I'd steer clear of them. Same goes for super active people. Just because someone is the most active on your site, doesn't mean they should be staff (I learned that the hard way also, they turned out destroying my site). It's better finding an upstanding member who you might not know in real life, but who conducts themselves professionally on your site. Best person for the job rather than the convenience of knowing someone is a good role to follow.

 

Regarding donations, they haven't purchased goods or services so you don't have to pay them back. It's a moral and upstanding thing to do for sure, and shows you're a good person. But you don't have to. They donated on their own accord, and that doesn't make them immune from the rules. In fact, anyone who coughs up money then expects special treatment is a bad egg. I'm always hesitant to accept donations for this reason.

 

Cut that 'friend' who called the police out of your life. Filing a false report is a crime itself, and they can get in a lot of trouble for that. I don't know what country you're from, but where I am, someone who files a false report can be fined for expenses incurred from investigating the false report. If they persist, seek legal advice.

  • Preach it! 1
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