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What should you do when a co. admin hates a member?


Anonymous
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The co. admin has been irritable and angry as of late and just messaged me saying that they're considering leaving the site as they won't be on a site where people piss them off. It's a tough situation as I offered to talk it out for them with the member in question, but they don't want me too. They aren't even willing to try and talk it out with the member as they get that angry. For context, we also recently reopened following a small revamp. What should I do? I don't want the co. admin to leave, but I also don't want the member to quit over something so one-sided.

Anonymous poster hash: 6ade9...97f

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I agree with the response above! when it comes down to it... it really seems like a personal issue of your co-admin that isn't really fitting for someone of their position.

 

If there is no valid reason to ban the member then It's probably best, though disappointing, to simply let the co-admin leave. Tell them the facts: That the member has not done anything wrong to merit banning them and so is free to remain a member. This way you're upholding your site's integrity and leaving it to their own choice to leave over their own hangup. If they choose to stay (as people like this sometimes do), you can remind them that they made the choice to do so and will have to behave appropriately. If they do make trouble and bring down the mood of your site, you can tell them theyre subject to the rules and such and, if it comes down to that, ask them to leave as they arent a good fit. 

 

I hope things work out for you! 

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Well, the co. admin messaged me this morning about leaving. The others and I are at a loss of what to do with how messy this whole situation was and just how sudden it is. Thanks for all the advice in the meantime! I decided to let it cool over as I felt as if the co. admin wasn't being rational, but I guess I ended up being a bit too hopeful in the end.

Anonymous poster hash: 6ade9...97f

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  • 3 weeks later...

As someone who dealt with a very similar issue and let it cause the site to shut down, let me just say it's always better to let a bitter staff member go rather than disappoint your active members. Staff are easier to replace than good members, especially since, in most cases, members can sometimes be quick to say 'if you need help, let me know' when they know you're short-handed.

 

Best of luck. I know it's hard to deal with issues like this, you can DM me if you ever want to vent privately. 

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Honestly, if an admin/mod/staff/helper/whatever is causing problems with a member that didn't do anything in the first place, they're gone. I might be a bit of a hardass in that regard, but I've watched my own sites and those I was a member of be completely ripped apart by a staff member causing petty drama and I'm not about that life any more. You wanna start something with an innocent person? Pack your stuff, and don't let the door hit you on the way out. Like Patrick said, things like that tend to fester and it'll drive everyone away from your site, and can even tarnish your reputation down the road as the person who keeps crappy/bully admins around. I get being angry and not wanting to hash things out right that moment, but not being able to say you'll deal with it when you're chilled out is a sign of someone who's going to absolutely blow up if something big happens, and do irreparable damage.

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I agree with everything that has been said above and it really lays out everything I would have said as well. I have had some experiences in the past where a coadmin was causing problems and I didn't get rid of them soon enough, which made issues for the board at whole. Remember to protect your space and part of that is evaluating the behaviors of both staff and member and seeing if they are a good fit for the community. Like the response above me says, you want to someone (especially an admin) to blow up and cause damage.

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It wasn't really said why this member is causing a great upset for them? Does this member bother you? I'll be blunt and say good riddance if they ditched with nothing more than a tantrum. I wouldn't even worry about it. I'd be irritated with this staff person who is supposed to be a partner in running the site, their complete unwillingness to talk it out is a clear lack of respect for you. Forums are a lot of work and take a lot of patience to manage and of course you will cross paths with people you will not mesh well with, someone who flies off the handle like that is not well suited for any sort of staff position. Depending on how nasty they were, I would ban them too, I have very low tolerance for inexcusable bullshit. 

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