Popular Post Munchkin 7 Popular Post Share Posted July 13, 2020 So I know this is labeled odd, but let me just explain. Since I am really unsure as to what to label it as. I am looking for advice in order to recover from my own fear and anxiety in this topic. I have been in the game for over 13 years. I have social anxiety which I manage quite well. So the problem I have is that I fear, like seriously fear large sites. So when I find a site that has a large member base, epic plot, active as hell. Like its great but then I end up freezing before I even attempt to join. Its like I physically can't click the register button until a month or so later after I somehow talk myself into it. My anxiety is routed from some pretty bad experiences when it comes to sites (and I get it, life isn't roses and cookies) but I have wanted to over come this for a long time. So I was wondering if anyone had any ideas? 😖 5 ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PixieMegs 107 Share Posted July 13, 2020 Reach out to a member of staff from that site. Big sites (big established sites, especially so) are scary. I run a site that has been around for 3 years and honestly, if I wasn't the admin and I was looking for somewhere to join- I would be very very nervous about joining. In theory, the Staff member should reach out to people who have joined the discord and see what they might need. But sometimes it just doesn't happen. There have been times when I didn't even realize someone new was in our discord. Life is hectic and even more so right now, and being scatter brained makes it incredibly hard for me to remember what I planned on doing and why. (Even right now, I have tabs open but I'm not super sure what I was intending to do). A good staff member will help you feel more at ease about joining. And you can always ask a few questions and poke around the site to see if they are being honest. Some things I'd do before asking questions: - Read any guides, timelines, plot, subplots, and rules. This let's the Staff member know that you are actually interested in the site. -Browse the recent announcements. -If they've had plot driving events, skim them and see what happened. (though the results should be in a site timeline) -Take a look at the character applications on the site and see what sort of characters people are playing. -Do they have plotters? If yes, take a look at those. But remember that empty plotters doesn't necessarily mean people aren't getting plots. Discord has become one of the main places for plotting on my site. Questions to ask: -Are there any characters you guys are looking for at the moment (be it job, plot related, or a membergroup)? Taking a character type that is wanted may increase your chances of picking up threads right away. -Are members inclusive of new people? (browse those plotters again after asking this. and then if you spot anyone new, check their posts and threads. see if they are getting thread and plot opportunities) -I have read x,y, and z, is there anything else I should know about these? -I have a character in mind, do you think this will work on your site? It's a lot. I know. And I struggle with anxiety all the time, so I get it. But I do think reaching out to a staff member is your best bet so you can get some footing before registering and throwing yourself into the site. I've also found that joining the discord and chatting a bit with members gives a good indication of how you'll be treated once you join. If they are welcoming, helpful, and eager- it's likely to carry through to when you've made a character. I wish you luck and hope your next rp experience is a good one! ❤️ 1 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Morrigan 1,826 Admin Share Posted July 15, 2020 On 7/13/2020 at 2:04 PM, Munchkin said: has a large member base Can I ask you what you consider this is? It would help in providing pointers (at least for me)? Some people find 5 people to be a "big member base" and others think its 20 or more. So I can provide pointers depending on the size you consider large. 1 Profile set made by myself and original Artwork by Fae Merriman, my daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huskerdust 625 Share Posted July 18, 2020 As somebody with the same issue, I have only this to ask: do you have a reliable rp friend you could take with you? Whenever I feel this anxious about joining a larger site, I always feel a lot better knowing my friend is there with me. 2 Reality is an illusion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munchkin 7 Author Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/14/2020 at 10:13 PM, Morrigan said: Can I ask you what you consider this is? It would help in providing pointers (at least for me)? Some people find 5 people to be a "big member base" and others think its 20 or more. So I can provide pointers depending on the size you consider large. Anything to be with over 100 people is considered a large game. Thank you @PixieMegsthe list is something I am gonna copy and keep in my computer. And I will try and follow it :0 let me see how it goes with the next one I try and join. @ZozmaI do have one, but sadly sometimes our kind of taste differ so there are some sites in which she won't join with me. 1 ❤️ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Admin Morrigan 1,826 Admin Share Posted July 23, 2020 So the best way to do it, at least for me, is to immediately seek out the sites plot/wanted ads board. What it does is gets you in contact with people that have either a like-mind as you or they have plots that you're interested in exploring. Reaching out to an individual is far easier (at least for me) than being overwhelmed by a massive site. From there you sort of tendril into their plots and friends and you'll find your place. Profile set made by myself and original Artwork by Fae Merriman, my daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prophetess 137 Share Posted July 23, 2020 I have social anxiety as well. I'm not exactly an open person. I've had friends that have had me join places where they're at. I also remind myself just because I see a ton of members doesn't mean always a ton of people. Sometimes (I'm guilty of it too) one person has many characters so that does tend to remind me to take a breath. Wanteds are a good way to get a foot in the door. Talking to staff, usually one, will help as well. Over time I've had to kind of force myself to come out of my shell to join places. Even low sites mostly because of my own self doubts. I know my anxiety is lying to me and I've done my best to just take things one step at a time. Eventually I became an admin of my own site and that really helped me to temper myself. Look for something that will make you comfortable in a site. Make a list of what you really want from a site. Most sites are welcoming but if they're not, they might not work for you. I find I'm repeating what's been said, but it did help me through the years going to places that I didn't know a soul. Best of luck to you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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