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What would you say to your younger self?


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Guest Ember

If you had the chance to talk to your younger self, when you first started staffing, what advice do you think you'd dish out? I would probably tell my younger self that not everything has to be perfect, that mistakes are bound to happen and not anything to get twisted up about. What about everyone else?

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It isn't what you think. What you dream doesn't exist, and everybody is on the site for a different reason, sometimes clashing with yours.

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Relax, life is more important then roleplay.

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I'm somewhat torn on what I'd say to a younger self about roleplaying...

 

On one hand I'm half tempted to tell young-me not to bother.

That this whole things is a waste of time and effort. That for much of the time when not on own site (present company excluded) you'll be surrounded by whiny entitled little special snowflakes with no sense of respect or decency for others. Ones who think they can do no wrong and that they're always right. That if you say anything against them then you must be some kind of monster. People who place more value on how things look than function and expect that you'll cater to that mindset. 

That you'll get far more enjoyment out of simply writing whatever story you want instead. Or simply playing videogames. (I know it sounds cold, perhaps I'm just burned out by dealing with the constant OOC drama stuff that surrounds roleplay, but sometimes I feel like the work that goes in doesn't justify the end.)

 

On the other hand, I'm tempted to tell my younger self to find Jcink sooner... start a forum there in 2007 or 2008 (rather wait until 2010) and start building sooner. To get everyone onto the new site well before the old one collapses and dies. 

I'd also tell my younger self not to be so ambitious... to drop the idea of building a flash/php integrated skill level up system because it takes too long, won't get completely done and not likely will ever be used.

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"There are three sides to every story... Your side, their side, and then somewhere in the middle is the truth."
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I would say to myself that after a horrid day of horrid election results you sat on voice chat with some of the most amazing people and laughed so hard you almost peed your pants.

 

 

It. Does. Get. Better.

"Everyone has been doing so much soul searching during all of this,

and I'm just over here drawing pics of my character's dicks."

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16 hours ago, VirusZero said:

That this whole things is a waste of time and effort. That for much of the time when not on own site (present company excluded) you'll be surrounded by whiny entitled little special snowflakes with no sense of respect or decency for others. Ones who think they can do no wrong and that they're always right. That if you say anything against them then you must be some kind of monster. People who place more value on how things look than function and expect that you'll cater to that mindset. 

That you'll get far more enjoyment out of simply writing whatever story you want instead. Or simply playing videogames. (I know it sounds cold, perhaps I'm just burned out by dealing with the constant OOC drama stuff that surrounds roleplay, but sometimes I feel like the work that goes in doesn't justify the end.)

 

Amen!

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Profile set made by myself and original Artwork by Fae Merriman, my daughter.

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

A few things!

 

- Headcanon is always different. Expect people to interpret things differently no matter how clearly you write them.

- Stop letting assholes walk all over you (sacrificed the vision of a few past sites by letting people push me around and introduce sweeping changes).

- Get rid of said assholes as soon as possible. Ban function is your friend. Don't be afraid to use it.

- If you're in the mood to post, then hurry up and do it before the feeling washes over you. Mute cbox, resist distractions!

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* For the love of your sites be careful who you trust as co-staff. 

* If it feels like there's something co-staff is hiding from you, its generally no good don't let them walk all over you just because they are your costaff. Put your foot down. It's your site and your vision.

* Don't be afraid to say something if things are bothering you. If you feel like someone is modding you, say something. Politely, but do so. Don't wait until you're so upset you leave one of your favorite sites.

* Roleplaying with the same person for several years straight is fun, yes, but it weakens your skill significantly. Try to remember to branch out.

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Some must be warriors that others may live in peace.

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  • 1 year later...

I have a lot of these. After I left RPing I had some time to reflect on things.

 

- Your health comes first.

- Your site, not theirs. You can ask people to leave if they are a bad fit.

- RP is meant to be fun.

- Don't get drawn in by drama. 

- Be careful who you share private things with. 

- It is okay to say no. 

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Don't cave. Don't be afraid to ban people. Stick to your guns.

 

I'd also leave a convenient list of people that caused problems for me so I could know not to let them get cozy.

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Oh my gosh. So many things. Mostly in relation to tossing toxic people and believing in myself. The world won't fall apart when you axe that admin. Your community believes in you, they're here for the long haul and believe it or not---they love what we have. They will (did!) come back. 

 

That what you're building is so much more than a forum. It's a support group that you'll rely on. That they rely on. That even after four years of quiet, people will still come back with enthusiasm and fond memories, and you'll hear all about how what you made improved their lives in some way. Helped them discover who they were, found a love, a friend. That this is going to be hard at times, and overwhelming in others---but even on a bad day, it will lift you up. You'll be proud of who you are and what you've put in the world. 

 

And stick with it. Your community will see you through.

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the australian potterverse | we're back in black

 

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Get therapy sooner.

 

(Not because of roleplay - just because.)

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  • 4 weeks later...

I'd tell myself to follow your instincts more if you believe those people aren't trustworthy but don't know why...they aren't, you were right. Also don't give people 10 chances, they don't deserve the second chance. 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest TheHales

I read this topic title completely wrong. Oops. XD

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