Satisfy your curiosity

[Puffin 2]

I know I'm still something of a new face around here, so that seems as good excuse as any to start up one of these threads.  Ask away! ~

[Syn 1]

Yes, I have a question.

 

How dare you? 

[Puffin 2]

How dare I?  How dare you!

 

[Syn 1]

I so dare.

 

What's the scariest non-tangible concept for you? So things like spiders don't count since they're tangible. A concept that you cannot touch or see. 

[Puffin 2]

An excellent question!  And one that will plunge us into some deep stuff.  My answer is twofold because, between the pair, I’m not sure which I fear more.

 

The first is oblivion.  I’m spiritual rather than religious but the possibility that, at the point of death, my very consciousness will be snuffed out is terrifying to me.  Of course, you could say if that’s the case I’ll be none the wiser, because I’ll be dead, but still the notion of it is sometimes enough to make me lose sleep.  I can give up my mortal body, sure, but whatever makes me me (whether it’s simply the way the neurons fire in my brain or something much more ethereal like a soul) makes my blood run cold.  I fear the potential nothingness of it all, even if I won’t actually be conscious of it, and I already worry for the people I will leave behind.  Like my grandmother says, we’re all just chapters, we don’t get to see how the story ends.

 

The second is the loneliness that comes with old age.  As much of a ‘people person’ I may be, I’m also an introvert.  I need my own space and I love getting lost in books, films and nature.  I also love my husband, my dog and my friends.  I fear growing old, living longer than those I hold dear, bearing witness to their suffering and loss.  I fear being alone in the end of my days, clinging to nothing but memories and – if I’m lucky – the occasional visit from children or grandchildren.  I fear my body failing me, causing the world to close in, until I’m potentially left staring at the same four walls.  Again, my grandmother cut to the heart of this.  At 93, she has just recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  She’s still pretty independent and lives alone in the house she raised her children in, yet not too long ago I called over to find her tearful.  Just as she was waking up, she was certain that she had dreamed her life, and reached out across the bed for her husband.  When she opened her eyes, she saw the empty space beside her, saw that her hands were old, and realised it was not a dream.  My grandfather has been dead for 30 years but she said that day the pain was as raw and fresh as it had been when she was newly widowed.

[Josie 198]

If you could be any kind of muffin, what kind would you be?

[Puffin 2]

Gosh, I can't believe I didn't reply to this sooner!

 

I would be a good ol' dependable blueberry muffin.