Staffing Triggers: How to handle them?

[Morrigan 1,826]

I feel like this less needs to be a "trigger warning" and simply a warning that sensitive topics may be discussed in the thread. I know that's the intent of trigger warning but it feels like "trigger" is too strong a word for such a system. Hmm... I'm going to think on that.

[xexes 108]

It's always an admin's fear that a potential member will veto the site for something easily fixable. In a way, this motivates a lot of what we do, from making our skins pretty to having images AND text to our ads because of that prejudice, too.

 

But over the years I have really mellowed out with two realizations:

 

(1) If someone is truly going to join, they're going to ignore up to a few minor things. If they aren't going to join, it's because the site/timing/whatever isn't right for them. They may say a reason in the cbox to make themselves feel better, but really, it's the larger issue of not being right for them. Consider (2).

 

(2) Minds think alike and birds of a feather flock together. I used to nitpick rules and info documents and skins to be the best possible they could be until I realized I was actively hurting myself because of this rule and ruining the personality of the site. Because minds think alike, someone who fits in with our site is likely going to care what we care about and don't care for the things we don't care about. For example, we have a bloopers section. The bloopers section is just a reflection of who we as a site community are, and we're likely to attract people who have that light-hearted sense of humor. Maybe we have a few typos in the rulebook. It helps tell folk we're relaxed and don't care about mistakes.

 

 

 

Part of the reason we haven't had trigger warnings is because we don't tend to attract the people who write the deep, dark stuff that needs that those serious TW tags. If a guest were to say "I'm not joining your site because you don't have TWs!", we'd wish them well because it's far more likely that they don't really like the site or fit into it. I hope all that makes sense.

 

TL;DR: It is great to be accommodating to other people to try to be kind, but it's also just fine to be yourself and let those kindnesses come naturally.

Edited February 21, 2017 by xexes

[Dusty 55]

I tend to agree about people vetoing a site over a lot of small things.  This for me often may indicate a high maintenance player that might be better off elsewhere.  

One thing to remember is that you'll never please everyone all of the time. 

 

[Uaithne 543]

I'm late to the party here, but this is a great topic and discussion - interesting to read and very insightful.

 

I feel bad for people who legitimately need trigger warnings in RPs because that's tough to deal with, and having PTSD-related issues interfering with a pretend game would be miserable.  The rest of us schmucks who want to avoid certain topics sometimes get a little carried away by trigger warnings, though.  I'm of the mindset that you shouldn't outright avoid a topic because you are uncomfortable with it.  (Within reason, of course; avoiding incest/rape threads is far different than avoiding regular ol' sex threads.)  Or, more importantly, make other people go out of their way to include a label for something that you can just stop reading at any time.  It's like the burden of responsibility falls on the wrong person.

[Bishop 172]

You know...TW don't bother me. I don't look down on them nor do I roll my eyes (as someone stated on another site) YES I run an 18+ site, but does it kill us really to tag a scene that may be a little graphic? Nah. And if someone doesn't join my site because they can't handle the TW, they can go bounce along.

[Wolfdragon2004 0]

For my groups, we tell people upfront what we don't want to see talked about/acted out. A few of our rp missions to a specific location do get tagged with a trigger warning for excessive gore or psychological threat to their character. Those who are too young/immature we don't allow to participate, but for the majority they can make that decision themselves. I don't want to be accused of having only happy-go-lucky interactions, but on the other extreme I refuse to allow people to act out self harm and mutilations, etc. Trigger or not, it's about respect to others as much as anything.

[AmberE 2]

I haven't really found myself to have any triggers in RP as of yet. Have I found something I'm just not into reading? Of course. But all I did was close it out. No problem.

 

That being said, I do understand that some people legitimately have triggers. Tagging would work on our board, I think. We haven't really had any issues or concerns, being 3-2-2, and no one really uses excessive language.

 

I also agree that it's the responsibility of the reader to stop reading when something happens that they don't like.

[Raven 18]

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

What ways do you have trigger warnings set up (if you even do)?

On TNI, we have a Mature topic tag, and we ask that members have a bold warning at the start of the topic/post with the potential trigger. We have a list of things that people should have a warning for, and if there are not TWs, our moderators send out site warnings asking for them to be added. This allows people to be aware of what they're getting into reading a thread and allow them to make their own decision on whether to continue or not.

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

Does it work well for you?

Very! It keeps the site safe for everyone and ensures that people can handle their own issues. This means that they also aren't required to share their triggers with people in general.

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

Do you have a generalized warning for anything that can be triggering (suicide, abuse, drugs sex etc) or something specific per trigger?

Specific. That's very important, in my opinion (which is just one). Just saying "Hey this can be triggering" is not terribly helpful for people (myself, anyway, some others might find it helpful) who are triggered by something specific and nothing else. Literally anything could be triggering, it's just some things are more often triggering. Having something vague is not really useful to most people, and would either exclude those with a specific trigger from reading a lot of content or force them to risk it just like they would if there was no warning.

 

 

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

Do you like have warnings?

Yes. If I'm in a bad spot, mentally, having a warning is really important to me. Someone earlier in the thread said that it is generally a specific thing in regards to the circumstances, and this is true, but reading details about a situation often gets me thinking back if I'm in a poor state of mind.

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

How do you like to be warned? (Topic title, top of the first post etc)

How doesn't really matter to me, as long as it's easily seen on both the mobile skin and the main skin (:

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

Do you want to know the specific warning or just a general knowledge will let you know to be careful?

Specific. In that, I would like for it to say "sexual harassment" rather than just an "S", or "branding" as opposed to "V".

 

On 2/18/2017 at 9:24 PM, Morrigan said:

Could it be done better?

I think the biggest thing is just raising awareness for the kinds of subjects that can be triggering, and also like, while it's nice to have these things, it's also important to remember that people ultimately need to be able to take care of their own stuff. I really appreciate having warnings, but I recognize there won't always be warnings, and even with RL, things can hit me unexpectedly that I didn't know about, and I have to have ways of handling that.

That said, I really dislike it when people take that to mean that they shouldn't do anything and me asking them to do something about it or to consider doing something about it is a giant inconvenience, or how dare something be a topic I'm unwilling to discuss - both have been reactions I've received.

Edited May 18, 2017 by Raven