Do you "settle"?

[Josie 198]

The topic questioning whether or not there are too many forums got me thinking, and the thought I had is this: how many of you feel like you "settle" when you join an RP? Are there many things about the RP that bother you, but you will join it anyway because it meets other criteria of yours? How much on a forum can be wrong before you're turned away from it? Or is the opposite the case for you- do you ever find a place that seems perfect to you?

[Freya 9]

I had and still sometimes have a bad tendency of only staying at forums for a month or two before leaving, and in a rare few cases I've left after a week. This can be due to various factors, stress, boredom, finding out the site didn't fit me, or something new and shiny catching my eye. I'm picky about joining sites, word counts are a no go, tons of confusing templates also makes me leery, and so does a headache inducing skin and small font. An amazing plot can make me forgive some things though, and if the people are friendly I'm more inclined to stay.

 

The one thing that all the places I've settled has had in common is that they had an amazing member base, not as in a ton of member but as in the people were so friendly and fun to RP with. If I make friends on the forum I'm 100% more likely to stay, as I get more invested in the plots and wanting the site to thrive and do well. So a good community is the key for me. 

[Syn 1]

I settle all the time. It then tends to become a matter of how long I can settle before the reasons I'd normally peace out over become overwhelming. 

 

The biggest culprits, for me, are community and aesthetic. I can sort of ignore the skin of a site assuming I like the staff team and the other members but that flies out the window when the community itself becomes unbearable. 

[Josie 198]

I selected the option for always settling, and that I can settle with only a little bit of something that's wrong. I suppose that makes me an extremely picky person when choosing sites.

 

I guess I will sometimes put up with a bit more than usual though, depending. For example, there was one time when I REALLY WANTED to play this one particular canon and there was only ONE SITE that had the canon open... so I joined that site, even though it wasn't one I would normally join otherwise.

[Honorem 219]

If I'm going to join a site, I only do it once I'm sure I'll be in it for the long haul. I will not settle if there's something big 'wrong' like drama and stuff like that. I do not want to be one of those people who join, make an app, post once and then disappear a week later. To be frank there are far too many of those types out there and it's just a waste of everyone's time.

 

EDIT: Answers were 'often' and 'some wrong'.

Edited March 10, 2017 by Honorem

[Icewolf 258]

To be honest, no. I find a site which looks promising but then your rps/wanted ads get ignored, it's not as active as you thought it was going to be, the characters you want to write with aren't on the site, or they're not active.

[Elena 546]

8 hours ago, Honorem said:

If I'm going to join a site, I only do it once I'm sure I'll be in it for the long haul. I will not settle if there's something big 'wrong' like drama and stuff like that. I do not want to be one of those people who join, make an app, post once and then disappear a week later. To be frank there are far too many of those types out there and it's just a waste of everyone's time.

 

EDIT: Answers were 'often' and 'some wrong'.

 

These were my answers too, and for the same reason. Yes, I do settle often, because the perfect site doesn't exist. The one I have created is not perfect either, and one can't make it perfect for herself only when there are other people involved as well. 

 

I join a site only if the story inspires me to further it. And for this, I am ready to put up with some things I don't like, because all our lives are a perpetual compromise (not the bad meaning. The "let's meet half way" meaning) and negotiation with all those around us. As long as there are still things I like, I am devoted and I stay until switching the lights off.

[Rune 1,099]

I'll readily admit that I am ridiculously picky and very rarely join other sites, but that's also partially due to time. 

 

I'm willing to let some 'wrong' slide, but if it gets to the point where I'm ignoring more of what I dislike in favor of what I do, I find myself losing interest. A good community, however, can keep my attention. 

 

Basically community trumps all else, but its hard to get me to overlook the 'wrong' in the first place.

[Lady Isadorabelle 8]

I didn't think I was too picky but....yeah, I think maybe I am. I rarely settle for something that doesn't feel like a good fit because honestly, depending on what's not comfortable with it, it can zap my muse. For example, a canon only site is really difficult for me because if I play an OC first, it helps me feel like I can get my feet wet and comfortable in the game before tackling a canon. But, when it fits in every other way I'll often try to play on canon-only sites.

 

One thing I don't compromise on is if it's a 3-3-3. It's not because I post smut all the time, but it doesn't phase me to read smut or watch porn, so I don't always know where that line is that you're not supposed to cross. It's just easier for me if there isn't a line.

[CovertSphinx 710]

My choices were "rarely" and "tiny amounts of wrong". 

 

I rarely join sites unless it meets one of two criteria:

1) I have made ooc contact with a member or staff first and am being "pulled along" by word-of-mouth. 
2) I absolutely fall in love with the place or can't find anywhere else that fits that "niche" I want to RP. 

 

This is because I've joined far too many "blind" sites than I can possibly count only to soon find out that either Staff were "powercrazy gods" that didn't follow their own rules, members weren't nice, and everyone had cliques where there felt like there wasn't "room" for me. 

 

 

My tolerance for "wrong" is very slim. I'm cool with abiding by "Particular" rules (so long as it doesn't make it a hassle to get a post done). I'll even suffer a word-count or neon skin if I like the story/world/people good enough. However, the second the admins seem to be breaking their own rules or letting Friends slide while chastising others for the same action - I'm gone. 

[KARA BELLA 18]

I pretty much just make my own site or join a site admired by someone I have known for awhile in rp mostly because I like the way the sites are done and everything.

[Kaycakes 78]

This exact question is why I look in askance at people that may think RPs need to be limited so there weren't so many options. Maybe it's true that too many options (as can be too much information) leads to no choice at all, or maybe it's true that spreading potential player pool thin makes sites not survive so it seems RP is not really worth the time after all.

 

The thing is, there are a lot of creative personalities with strong urge to not settle. I won't settle for less and I'm definitely temperamental enough to not settle for anything that does not suit me. I need to be challenged, to play in a world that keeps me intrigued. I need to be on a site that suits most of my preferences: OOC accts linked with IC accts, no word count, historical or fantasy, not sandboxy but has an overarching story, jcink host, clean and organized, pretty / bold aesthetics.

 

It's been a while since I've joined a site and stayed longer than 6 months, and I'm really loving the site I made more than playing anywhere else.

[AKNyx 33]

tl;dr - I settle too much

 

I settle regularly. For me, it really becomes a matter of weighing between two options:

1.) Is what I like so intriguing and inspiring that it'll trump everything else, despite the cons?

2.) Will what I dislike so much make it useless to even join said site?

 

If I can find at least one thing that I love and can be inspired by, be it plot, set up, or the people, I'll generally overlook whatever it is that bothers me. That one thing will keep me active on there until something else overwhelms the good. But, if I can't find that one thing, or if I find myself questioning it too much, I won't join as it doesn't help the site any if I join only to then leave again, abandoning plots I may have started trying to fully find my niche.

 

But my justification for joining sites is a fine line to walk as I've been finding myself conflicted regularly. I feel I'm either too picky and should open myself up more, then I feel as though I'm trying to force something by opening up too much and making myself miserable.

 

Don't get me wrong, as I do find sites that I like and I'll remain on them until they're closed or until there have been so many changes that I respectfully bow out. But so much has changed of late that things have become stressful when trying to find a new site to join so this debate isn't one I've had to have in a while. I'm hoping I'll be able to find that new site where I'm not staff and can just relax and write to my heart's content. Also hoping I don't have to compromise too much in the process.

[Josie 198]

The results of this poll are very interesting! There's a large amount of people who feel both that they rarely settle and that they often settle, and the amount of "wrong" people in general seem to accept on a site is within a fairly small window. I'm glad I made this topic!

[Sage 289]

This has been really eye opening to me as a site creator, and I suppose asking about what you are willing to negotiate with on a site to join it is a separate discussion entirely. But I love seeing what makes people join a site vs. skip off to the next one.

 

Personally, I answered "sometimes" and "some wrong." For me, it's more about the environment. If the community is good and there is good writing going on, I'm willing to settle for some things I don't like or agree with. I used to be super picky, but that never seemed to get me anywhere. I could never find a site (or even start one) that would last. So I gave myself room to budge and, overall, I'm much happier for it. My goal is to write a story and fulfill that creative need that I don't get out of writing social media posts at work. So I'm willing to work with a little push and pull on a site. If it's got x, y, and z that I'm totally into, but a, b, and c are meh? That's ok, as long as a, b, and c aren't huge, glaring problems that will disrupt my writing.