Membership Banning someone... because... they're annoying?

[Spiritwolf99 2]

At the end of the day, it's your site.

 

You don't need a reason to boot anybody, and it's often much better to be proactive with it rather than making the mistake of many other sites and letting one member ruin the experience for either yourself or other people. On your own site, your own enjoyment is much more important than the whimsical and whiny needs of one member. If this starts to become a pattern, however, some self-reflection might be in order. But one person being overly pushy? Go for it and don't regret it at all.

[Bamf 11]

Wish I would of seen this about 4 months ago!

[Zahara 12]

Honestly, I'd say follow your gut. Maybe try and talk to them first, but hounding staff to do things quicker is a HUUUUUGE no no for me. Obviously your longer term members may have a little bit of a joke that doing a certain job is always last on your list but if it really bugged them or they really wanted it to happen quicker one of them would have taken if off your hands already. We all have lives to lead, jobs to do and money to earn, families friends, RP is not the be all and end all of the universe and if this member can't understand that then you need to make them aware that this behaviour is not O.k.

 

I realise this is quite late in the discussion, and I hope you got everything sorted out! At the end of the day, if things become not fun, then something needs to happen. 

[grimfox 1]

I'm a fan of banning. I don't ban people often, luckily, but I have a very strong belief that if someone isn't fitting in well or is making the site / cbox / discord a place that other members avoid, they shouldn't be there. As welcoming as I enjoy being, I run my sites for other people AND MYSELF to have fun. If someone is going to be more of a problem than they are a member who contributes to the general fun of my members and myself, they're not worth it. 

[FriedKilamari 46]

There's a distinct difference between banning someone for being annoying and banning someone for being abrasive and creating a toxic environment.

 

Just because a member says things that get under your skin isn't grounds for banning, especially since not everyone will get along, and that's completely fine. It's okay to be annoyed with a member, so long as you don't let it cloud your judgement when it comes to moderation. Just be cordial and courteous in conversation with them, and remember that you don't have to roleplay with a member you find annoying.

 

But it seems like from the OP, this member is not just annoying, but rude. To be demanding of staff is incredibly out of line, especially when you're already working hard. A rule may not have been broken, but that kind of behavior shouldn't be tolerated, especially on a site that's geared towards a more mature environment. If you feel the member is not a good fit for your site, you have every right to take action.

 

I think a good first step would be to pull the member aside and explain why their behavior is problematic. Give them a chance to step up or move on. Be firm, but polite, and explain how their behavior is making you and your staff feel. After that, if they continue to be demanding and problematic, you can ban or ask them to leave (I personally prefer not to ban anyone unless absolutely necessary, but that's my own preference).

[Indy 23]

I always find this issue rather difficult to handle. There are so many variations of "annoying" and "pesky" players. I tend to go by the live and let live policy, but as some mention in their posts, sometimes the annoyances and peskiness are a detriment to a good community. But in the end, it does come down to it being your site, so I think there's no definite wrong or right answer to this, just different approaches.

 

For me, context is key. If the player is annoying, rowdy, and works up the chat and other players, I tend to go by a warning system, three strikes and you're out. I give them a first warning, in private. A polite "you're disrupting the chat and making other players uncomfortable" or what have you, tailored to the issue. If they're pestering people (and staff), the same thing goes, a line about "we do this in our spare time, how about you chill" or if they're rude, "you're out of line, please refrain." If they keep it up, you add to your second warning, like "We've already told you, you need to shape up." And third is again, "Third time's your final warning." 

 

If they fail to actually heed the warnings, I'd ask them to leave. If it's very serious and they're absolutely not budging, banning is the final line of defence, for me. Even if players are rude, I like to still maintain my own neutrality and politeness, so I don't see it as justifiable to just outright ask someone to leave unless it's like, bad stuff is going to go down and you need to deal with it.

 

If it is a case of just not fitting in, I tend to also suggest alternatives for them, linking to directory sites like this or RPG-D so they can find somewhere that suits them better. I have once dropped the warnings and just gone directly to the "I don't think you fit into what our community is looking for, here are some alternatives, but you're welcome to come back once you mature some more," but it was incredibly obvious that the player wasn't going to fit. So again, it's case-by-case a lot of the time.

 

It does help if you have someone on staff who's the hardass, be it yourself or the "bad cop" to your "good cop." If you have that rep, the warnings can be quite effective and the players will either fix their ways or leave.

 

But this is a very YMMV issue, obviously. We're here to have fun, but there's also incentive to give someone a chance if the case is they simply don't realise they're being a huge pain in the ass. It happens.