Membership Going Outside Your Comfort Zone

[Uaithne 543]

Many of us can agree that exploring outside your comfort zone is a good thing.  I'd like to hear your stories and your general advice.  Did you experience successes, or would you have considered your adventures into the "unknown" to be failures?  If you're someone who prefers to stick with what you know, in what ways would you like to explore your limits?

 

It's been a bit since I've really challenged myself, so I decided to take a leap into the (mostly) unknown.

 

Recently I watched a documentary on the Quiverfull movement.  (For those who don't know, it's an extreme conservative Christian denomination that believes children are a gift from God and reproduction should be frequent.  Purity and submission to authority are also huge components, and just about every other Christian is like "wtf?" about it.  It's pretty much what the Duggars believe, though I think they claim to not follow it.)  From that, I decided to make a character who was a part of a Quiverfull family, and then I decided to open it up for all my members if they wanted to join.

 

I'm not certain I've ever taken on a character who has such a significant mental impediment.  I've played characters who have had anxiety or other mental disorders, but nobody who is so utterly brainwashed that he/she can't function normally while at the same time looks like he/she functions normally.  It's such a complex range of emotions to be battling what one is taught to believe is right with what the character feels, the whole time knowing that any thought out of line could be a straight ticket to eternal damnation, thus resulting in suppression of emotion and guilt.  I'm sure that many of us can sympathize with conflicts between what's "right" and what "feels right" within our worlds, but these particular characters will have to struggle with natural desires and thoughts.

 

The hardest part, I think, is portraying it realistically.  Making it convincing.  The few times that I've seen people play super religious characters, they seem to be reduced to a caricature of what society tell us a super religious person looks like.  So my goal is to make something that really portrays the psychological reasons for living this lifestyle while not blatantly relating everything back to "I have to do this because God will punish me."  That's what's going to challenge me the most.

[Quell 249]

First off, I applaud you for playing a character like this. ^^ They sound like they're going to be a really interesting dive into the human psyche~ and what more could RP be about than that?

 

I think I push my comfort zones all the time -- but I've been doing it for so long, I don't really notice it anymore. I kind of have a "been there, done that" personality (that's undertoned by an if it ain't broke don't fix it philosophy), which is great sometimes, and ridiculous others.

 

Basically, I hate playing the same character twice. Even when I move an OC from one place to another, I have to revamp them -- regardless of how little the setting changes. (Like, I'll revamp and rewrite an application to move a character from one small-town real life site to another small-town real life site.) This also migrates to canon characters and setting -- if I feel like I've done this already, it's going to be incredibly hard to keep my attention. 

 

(Weirdly, this character and setting thing doesn't actually apply to plots. I'll run the same exact plot 200 times to see what each character does differently)

 

I also have a stupid, but hilarious rule that I can't use the same metaphor/simile twice. Almost any time I read a new author or see a new movie, I do exercises with the new topics and ideas that I've seen -- I walked away from Logan wanting to play a character who had a personal loyalty hierarchy and built a character around that concept that I have never considered before.

 

Anyway, I think most of my attempts at pushing from my comfort zone have been successful, and those that haven't have been a learning experience. (I learned I don't like to actually roleplay out a love triangle, I want to know the outcome from the start; I learned I don't like sharing world building, I like to explain Hogwarts and you be Harry Potter learning all about it.)

 

(As a side note: I think pushing out of comfort zones is good sometimes, and silly others. If you enjoy playing racist bigots and hate playing duty-bound cops, why would you write a duty-bound cop just to push yourself and hate every minute you have to write him? Everyone enjoys different themes and different characters. So, my figuring is as long as you enjoy what you write, it's not super important to push all the time. BUT when you see something that intrigues you, jump on it and try it out -- worst that happens is you write a few paragraphs and you think man I don't like this at all. ^^)

[Elena 546]

I had a quote before Photobucket messed with it  It said: "A comfort zone is a nice place, but nothing grows there." I wholeheartedly agree. The comfort zone is meant to be always stretched and challenged. And a writer should be able to write all kinds of characters (but not necessarily all as main characters). It takes just research and practice to make it perfect. 

 

My examples/ challenges/ victories? 

 

- writing literarily in English, since it is not my mother tongue;

 

- the historical fiction lover writing in Steampunk, Sci-Fi, urban fantasy, supernatural settings. (Yes, it happened). Also on a modern times, arranged marriage site;

 

- writing a mercenary, a prostitute, slave owners, manumitted or runaway slaves, people of different religions than mine, a gay/ bisexual character, characters of all ages, male and female, of various ethnicities, races and professions, in various historical and geographical settings;

 

- having written one explicit, M+, smut scene.

 

Edited October 2, 2017 by Elena

[CovertSphinx 710]

First and Foremost, I would like(read as: Demand lol) updates on this religious cult victim. K'thnx. Actually, tbh, just from your description, my inner adventure really wants to RP with them.

 

I like to slowly push my boundaries out and test the waters with slightly different versions of a concept until I've eventually brought it full circle. Part of what I enjoy is that I'll take the same character, and make slight tweaks in their decision-making to see what new avenues it takes them. Similar to Thyme. One of my "go to" characters has been through....5 notable incarnations (although one was technically a Metaverse version NPC'd for a side-thread of a different incarnation) but each one has developed in vastly different ways event though they're essentially the same character. I like seeing how Nature and Nurture interact.

[Uaithne 543]

Well, @CovertSphinx, there are plenty of kids in the family if you want one, you know. ;)

 

@Thyme, we are pretty much opposites. I love playing the same character over and over (with or without minor adjustments) but I cannot stand to roleplay the same plot multiple times.

 

@Elena, wow, I didn't realize you did so much variety. That's cool. I've never done a sex scene and I'm not sure I really want to, but I'd like to one day do another fade-to-black. Only have done one once.

[Quell 249]

I'm starting to wonder how people define a comfort zone... and if people feel like their comfort zones expand? Like... @Elena do you feel comfortable with the things that you wrote in your list? @Uaithne do you feel like now your comfort zone has expanded to encompass this character with a different mindset?

 

I guess I'm asking because I can't think of anything that is actually out of my comfort zone... I've played people with basically every occupation, age, gender, sexuality, race, etc.; I write smut and gore. I'm one of those people that if you ask "will you write this with me?" There's a 99.9% chance I'll say yes, and that .1% is that I'm too busy. 

 

I guess I'm just trying to figure out what a comfort zone is? Do other people feel like their comfort zones expand? (I obviously have favorite themes/characters, but I don't consider them my comfort zone, just like I prefer eating mint chocolate chip ice cream, but if I ate another ice cream I wouldn't be uncomfortable?)

Edited October 3, 2017 by Thyme

[Uaithne 543]

Great question.

 

Comfort zones and preferences are similar but different in the sense that preferences are located inside the comfort zones. Preferences are kind of like default traits and characters whereas comfort zones include preferences as well as other character types you are confident or familiar with playing. For example, I like to play male characters - it's my preference. But I'm also comfortable playing some female characters as well. So while I would likely choose a male character when I'm first joining a site, I'd be okay playing females if the need or opportunity arises.

 

But I'm not really good at playing females over 30 years of age. I find it challenging and I have difficulty getting into the mindset of the characters. The ones I've played seem static, and I'm not satisfied with how I portray them, so I normally avoid it if all possible. If a site told me that I HAD to have a character in this demographic, I would likely leave because I have yet to play one that truly satisfied me, and the hassle might not be worth the payoff. These characters are outside of my comfort zone.

 

As far as the Quiverfull character goes, I'm a bit excited to play a religious character whose religion truly influences decisions. Although I've played one or two truly religious folks, I'm always pretty nervous about it. The thing about making a character that relies heavily on ANYTHING - religion, education, drugs, labels, to name a few examples - is that trying to emphasize it's importance while not making too big of a deal out of it is challenging. This "thing" influences thoughts, decisions, speech, and how characters perceive others and the world around them. But you have the RP community which puts a HUGE emphasis on writing every internal thought and leaving nothing up to interpretation. This means that if a character makes a decision based upon this influential "thing," the "thing" will be mentioned through narrative. Over and over. Now add to this that topics of religion seem to make many roleplayers uncomfortable, and it's just a bit too much.

 

So my goal is to figure out how religion influences the character in subtle or unspoken ways. Subconscious ways that the character doesn't even realize. So instead of the character not wanting to be alone in a room with a potential suitor because "God doesn't want me tempting him" or whatever, it would be because "I need to guard my heart from men who might hurt me." Because in her religion, technically God comes into play, but she would think of it in different terms that aren't blatantly "God" or "Jesus" since she's had the Bible forcefed to her in manipulated and outright wrong ways.  She'd think more along the lines of how it has been interpreted and taught to her rather than her interpretation of what the Bible actually says and what God actually wants. And I think sometimes that's what people miss in making characters who are heavily influenced in something: it's not always so blatant what is influencing them to make decisions, even though to the outsider it would be clear.

 

It's the combination of religion and psychology which offers me a chance to play something new. But it's the fact that I want to make a true and honest representation of someone brainwashed by the Quiverfull movement that will pull me out of my comfort zone.

 

I can't say right now that my comfort zone has really expanded because I haven't actually played the character yet. So we will see!

 

@Thyme

[Elena 546]

@Thyme: I proved myself and maybe others, but especially myself that I can. Some things I became comfortable with. Others (such as writing smut, instead of glossing over and focusing on the emotions, on what's in their heads and hearts, not in their beds) are still not my preference, but I proved they aren't beyond my literary skills (with the proper research). Just that they aren't things I am interested in. 

 

I was bored when the sex scene lasted more than one page, when I would have got it over in 1-2 posts from each character involved, and I would have passed to the interesting part: discussions, reactions...

 

@Uaithne, practice and research makes better. If you persist writing mature women (not as main characters, but do) you will get the skill to make them more... alive. 

 

(As for your wonder that I branched out... There are already 8 years we know each other, so I tried... and in some cases I was left to switch off the light on the dying site.)

 

Funny that I think the most challenging of all the things I mentioned was writing on the present time, real life arranged marriage site - and I didn't have problems with the arranged marriage side, but with describing the American real life of PRESENT TIME, which I know only from movies (and since I am not watching many present time ones, they get to be DALLAS, NCIS and not many others), to Americans for whom that was their real life. And exactly the details were different than my real life (even in the same profession - my character was a policeman, and I did research. But our police system is after the French one, and I am more familiar with the British than the American one because they are different too, and even more different than ours. ) But I didn;t left for this reason, even if I struggled with it. I left because my character's fiancee had left. And I didn't have many plots outside her, because people weren't as welcoming.

Edited October 3, 2017 by Elena

[FriedKilamari 46]

@Thyme I think this is a great question, honestly! Though I feel like the answer is going to vary from person to person.

 

For me, a comfort zone is something that you do comfortably. It's like second nature, something I can do without a lot of thought or effort on my part, whether it be because I enjoy it or simply because it's something I've done for so long I no longer need to think about it. Putting this to a practical example in my daily life, color theory and colors are in my comfort zone. I love coloring pieces, and I no longer have to think about how the colors should look together or which ones make for interesting contrast--it's literally become second nature to me.

 

And what's outside of my comfort zone, for example, is going to the gym. I'm new at it, I don't understand the machines, it's hard on my body, etc. The gym is also a pretty good metaphor for how comfort zones can expand, too. The more I go, the more my body will get used to the strain and my health will improve. From there I can increase my workout, be it the speed of the treadmill or how much I'm lifting.

 

Personally, I like trying to leave my comfort zones. They might not always be successful, but each is a chance to learn! Sometimes when I write a new type of character, it's hard. The research itself can be difficult, especially in trying to accurately portray mental disorders I have no personal experience with. Or when writing a character of a new culture I want to avoid stereotyping them, which can sometimes be a little difficult, especially when the stereotype is based on some truth (like Russians enjoying their vodka maybe a little too much).

 

But I also feel it's important to know when you're no longer enjoying being out of your comfort zone. If it's not fun, I'm not gonna do it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Especially when it comes to RP, which is a hobby and should be fun.