Staffing Special Snowflakes

[Anonymous 234]

I'm in need of some advice, I'm sure a lot of you have dealt with that member that comes along and wants to completely ignore or try their best to skirt around your sites rules and lore. I'm dealing with this right now and they are being very very forceful and literally trying everything in the book to get us to allow them. They are even calling it a "special request" which is beyond annoying because that's a can of worms we have no intention of opening you know? My question is how do you deal with these people? It's like they refuse to hear the answer is no even when you flat out say it is.

Anonymous poster hash: 9420e...7ad

[Morrigan 1,826]

Tell them "no" and that you don't believe that they are good fit for this site and ask them to leave.

 

You have it in your rules and that snowflake will melt the moment they get into play.

[FriedKilamari 46]

I saw this thread title and not gonna lie, I sped in here at the speed of sound because this is the sort of drama I live for (where no one really gets hurt, just annoyed).

 

Honestly? Just tell the person no. Your rules are there for a reason, and everyone needs to follow them. If they're still pitching a fit, deny their application and ask them firmly to leave. they're not a fit for your site if they're not willing to follow your rules.

[Arceus 1,081]

I actually just dealt with one of these. One mention of them breaking the site lore and they left on their own, but had they not, I'd have just asked them to leave. If they start arguing with you, you don't want them, anyway, because if they're going to argue with you about your site's setting or rules and insist you break either to make them happy. they're not worth it. What else are they going to break?

Nah. Customer is not always right.

 

The purpose of the site staff is to maintain the experience of the site. Never feel bad for preserving your site's setting lore, or rules, nor hesitate to do it. And if it means you need to ask a couple people to leave, so be it.

Edited October 6, 2017 by Arceus

[CovertSphinx 710]

If they insist on fighting/complaining....time to break out the banhammer

[Dragon 673]

Lore is the literal foundation of almost any site, so as a general rule of thumb it is never a good idea to allow exceptions for anyone. For one, it weakens the integrity of the site's function as a whole, and for another it will create resentment among members until you're inevitably either forced to piss people off for what appears to be favoritism, or you're going to have to sacrifice your lore altogether to make everyone happy; and that amounts to a whole lot of time and effort gone straight to hell on your part. 

 

Considering new ways to expand one's lore is one thing. I'm going reference the lore my site uses as an example because its what comes most readily to mind at the moment: 

One of my players proposed an idea of our supernatural creature's bloods having various properties when ingested by other creatures and submitted the possibility of characters who will harvest supernatural blood to sell on a kind of black market. This wasn't something I had ever considered for our lore, but  it doesn't break or weaken the lore.It was also something that any of our players could choose to dabble in if they wanted to without breaking foundations.

 

Requesting an outright exception to it is another ball game entirely. As a further example, proposing the idea that a werewolf hunter could consume a werewolf's blood to temporarily gain heightened senses and strength to level the playing field is one thing; asking for your hunter to be magically immune to bites so they're free of consequence is another. I could never allow that for one player because if too many others tried to do the same it would screw up one of the most basic mechanics of the game.

 

So on one hand, don't be so hard set that you pass up any and all suggestions that don't immediately click - I've seen that shut down sites a plenty - but still do not ever let someone compromise the foundations of the world you put so much time and effort into building. 

 

As a side note, there are also just some players out there that, for some reason, will bend over backwards to try and find exceptions for themselves or poke holes in your lore. Its easier on you, your staff, and everyone else not to tolerate this behavior. Nip it in the bud right off the bat, and if you're lucky other players who might have been inclined to cause problems will take the hint and never bring it up. 

 

 

 

[duchess 4]

I personally love telling people no. I feel it's not something people say often enough to each other, and it's something lots of people have a super hard time hearing. Be clear and concise, but straight to the point. Don't give them a big paragraph, just be like "No, and this is why" as smoothly and quickly as possible. 

[VirusZero 176]

If they ask nicely, I'm willing to try to work with someone. But there has to be some compromise (some give and take). Though there are cases where it just flat out won't work and I'll refuse. When I do there's usually a pretty good reason for it and I try to point it out. (Like if they want a character with an instant kill power? Not happening. Doesn't matter how many times/ways you ask, I'm not going to say yes.)

If they remove the problem part then I'll let the character in. But if they refuse... I'll deny the character. It's a pretty simple thing... This part of the character is a problem, so long as the character retains this part they are not permitted. (And if they remove that part but try to add it back later then I'll immediately deny their character and lock them out from posting.)

 

If they want to push or fight with me on this then it shows they're really not a good fit and I don't see a problem with asking them to leave. Or, in more extreme cases, (like they start shouting or something) then they might just get banned. (I mean seriously, if I say no and you start telling me how I'm wrong and how you know my material so much better than me... What do you think is going to happen? I'm going to say "Yeah, I see the light now" or "Welp, you clearly don't understand... enjoy your ban".)

 

As an aside, I refuse to humour the "you're stifling my creativity" bullshit. I mean as soon as that line comes out, they're done. Their application is flat out rejected without room for edits or resubmission. It's clear they don't care, they only want to get their way and aren't going to follow the rules anyway. So their character isn't going to work. And the fact they felt the need to try guilt tripping me into letting them have their way only shows they want to manipulate things. So not going to happen.

I firmly feel that all of roleplay is about playing within limits. I mean playing a canon character is all about trying to understand a character and think what they would do in a certain situation. Especially situations they've never been put into. How would Thor react if he saw Wonder Woman punch out Lobo? 

 

Even in original characters there are still some limits, though they're considerably less rigid. An original character still has some kind of base history and personality that define them. Things that would (or should at least) change how they behave. For example a character who never took any martial arts should really not be fighting like Jet Li on speed. So to say there are no limits is foolishness. Now how a character might act in an unknown situation is another story. I mean let's say a character gets attacked with a knife... this character has never faced a knife attack before so what would they do? It's hard to say. Maybe they'd panic and just run? Maybe they'd lose all control and try to attack? Maybe they'd retain their wits and try to lose the attacker in a crowd? Maybe they'd call for help and curl up into a ball? Or, if this is a US centred story, they'd pull their every day carry (or duty weapon) and demand the attacker drop the weapon? 

[Rune 1,099]

Stick to your guns. They will harass, beg and whine for more "special requests." Don't be afraid to say no. Offer suggestions to make it work once or twice, then if they blow that off, hold to your no. If nothing else, bluntly tell them that the site isn't for them, good luck finding one that will allow XYZ thing and reject the concept and character entirely, closing any and all room for discussion.

[Anonymous 234]

This particular person has been at it for months, they leave and come back trying to merge creatures we've approved on the site with those we haven't. For an example, we have vampires as playable but not mermaids and so they want to be a vampire that lives underwater with a growth defect of a tail. Which translates to "I know you don't have mermaids but I want to play one and just call it a vampire." I know that sounds weird but it's literally the debate they want to have which is almost comical. 

 

If they come back I'm just going to go ahead and tell them that I don't think our board is the right fit for them. You guys are right, I have to just keep saying no and hold to it  wish me luck!

Anonymous poster hash: 9420e...7ad

[Squeeji 19]

Yeah I'd give that rule dodger a swift kick in the butt and tell them one more rule side step and they're outta there, it just sounds like no fun to have to police that garbage.  

 

Good luck!

[Uaithne 543]

It sounds like you have this sorted, but I wanted to chime in with some information either for you or for others who might be in a similar place.

 

I really like what @Dragon said.  His advice is reasonable and very fair.  To add onto that, if somebody makes a request that seems to be an exception, push back on them, but don't outright deny them unless it's really going to not fit into your site.  If they request for a new character type or special powers, ask them how they plan on incorporating it into the site and how others can get involved with this new character/power.  See if they've thought it through at all.  It might help them see flaws in their own plans and help them develop ideas for the future.

[Lawman 88]

It's one thing to go to a Burger King (or Hungry Jack for the Aussies) and ask for customisations to your Whopper - like having no lettuce or pickles, or perhaps swapping the side from fries to onion rings. It's another thing altogether to expect a Big Mac at a Burger King outlet. Special snowflake members are a good example of the latter. 

[Sage 289]

I like everything that's already been said! But if it keeps happening, make like a FAQ section on the kinds of things you don't allow. And every time they try this shit again, just point them back at that. That way you don't have to type up a new response every time, you've just got a handy dandy FAQ that sets precedent that you can point them to. It says "we know you're trying shit and it ain't gonna fly"