On the Good 'Ship' Lollipop

[StormWolfe 557]

Boy Howdy! I could write a book and not just a topic.

 

I am sure this has been discussed more than once here. I did a search, found a few posts. However, I'm new so bear with me!

I'd love to hear everyone's good and bad IC 'shipping experiences and how your sites handle character relationships in general. I'm not really talking about rules on writing smut, just romance overall.

 

Worst Experience
A person who would not take no for an answer. This happened a very long time ago when I still wrote canon characters. This person actually informed me that because she liked the idea of the relationship on the television show, we would write it in the RPG. It went from being mildly annoying to downright harassment on and off the site. It became verbally abusive as well. It's the only time I've ever left a group with no warning and no explanation. It was also the last time I wrote for a canon character.

 

Best Experience(s)
Longtime friend and writing partner and I tend to write our characters into various relationships because we have no expectations. If we see an opportunity for a scene, we hop on it. If not, well, things will develop if and when they are meant to.

 

Personal Policy Now
I do enjoy writing romance (not smut - not dissing it or those that enjoy it - it's just not my thing). These days, I will not plan it behind the scenes. If approached, I tell the other person that we can see if anything develops over the course of story writing. At my groups, I ask that they keep romantic interludes in context with the rest of the story. My roleplaying groups are not romance/dating/ marriage groups, so I feel that is a fair request.

 

What are your IC romance pet peeves, good/bad experiences?

[Quell 249]

Oh! :3 This is great. Romance is like my roleplay life. I live for ships and shipping (though I do also adore platonic relatonships, of course.)

 

Worst Experience

I had a person tell me that my character and their character were end game, no question asked; 100% happening. It was glorious, because we both shared out war stories from the past about people who randomly dumped each of us... Then I got busy and couldn't post every 2 day, and she dumped our plot and replaced my character with a new character without any warning. o_o; Claiming that I replied too slow... (I replied once a week...)

 

Best Experience

UGH. I have had so many. So I'm going to toss up my most recent one. <3 Shout out to @syndehy. (Hope tagging you is okay~) It was glorious.

Basically, it was a short-post/rapid-fire roleplay style. We had two characters who were just both assholes. Literally, their opening encounter was my character slugging hers in the face. It was one of the most organic ships I've ever had. They both expressed affection so poorly (like their main method of communication was screaming and insults), but they were always there for each other.

Yeap. It was great. I got a lot of 3-4 hr nights while that ship was sailing, and it was worth it 100%.

[syndehy 1]

That was a great time, Thyme! <3 <3 <3 I'm glad you still think fondly of it!

[Uaithne 543]

Uaithne's secret: I . . . haven't RPed many romantic relationships. They don't come naturally for me, and I need to make sure my character gets along well with the other character before I commit. This may sound silly or rude, but if there are certain things about the writing style or the character itself that bothers me, I find it hard to make our characters connect on a romantic and emotional level. That said, I really like weird relationships, so if the romance and emotion don't need to be there, I'm much more open. But I usually don't preplan things too much because sometimes asking for weird relationships turn people away. Like incest between siblings, or large age gaps, or loveless marriages, or arranged marriages, etc.

 

Okay, so here are my experiences:

 

GOOD EXPERIENCES:

 

- The best are probably the arranged marriages between Victors on my Hunger Games site. Lots of conflict and convoluted emotion as the characters tried to figure out their shared comradery based on their traumatic Hunger Games experience verse contempt for personality differences.

 

- Incest between to twins. This was back before I realized it was so widely regarded as a taboo RP subject (and back before Game of Thrones hit TV). Very bizarre dynamic that I got to explore.

 

- Marriage of two high school students. Didn't last long (we abandoned the characters) but was fun.

 

WORST EXPERIENCE:

 

- It wasn't like it was horrible but the first time I did an actual romance plot (like a normal one), the other writer was a little more . . . eh, mature-minded. I guess I wasn't expecting her to grab my character's dick in the first thread together. We didn't actually RP anything mature or graphic, but I was at a loss for words because I wasn't sure how to write what happened next. Way too far out of my comfort zone. This was long ago and I was afraid to say anything to the other writer because I didn't want her to think me immature. (I was trying really hard to be 'cool' and fit in with the other kids, you know?) I couldn't articulate that it was not "I don't know what is physically happening to our characters" but "this isn't my typical genre and I have no idea how to write romance."

[StormWolfe 557]

2 hours ago, Uaithne said:

WORST EXPERIENCE:

- It wasn't like it was horrible but the first time I did an actual romance plot (like a normal one), the other writer was a little more . . . eh, mature-minded. I guess I wasn't expecting her to grab my character's dick in the first thread together. We didn't actually RP anything mature or graphic, but I was at a loss for words because I wasn't sure how to write what happened next. Way too far out of my comfort zone. This was long ago and I was afraid to say anything to the other writer because I didn't want her to think me immature. (I was trying really hard to be 'cool' and fit in with the other kids, you know?) I couldn't articulate that it was not "I don't know what is physically happening to our characters" but "this isn't my typical genre and I have no idea how to write romance."

 

 Uaithne,

 

Wading the murky waters of IC romance gets...murky! I agree wholeheartedly that not only do I have to be comfortable with the other writer - even though I refuse to write graphic scenes of any kind - my character has to be attracted to the to the other character. If not initially, it needs to be something that can evolve based on who the characters are and not their standing in the canon genre or the play-by faces!

 

Surprisingly, or maybe not, I don't get out much, my female characters are rarely harassed or solicited for a romantic relationship. I think it is because I tend to play older, more mature women and choose play-bys that don't make the guys go oooooh, ahhhhh. I'm more Barbara Stanwyck, Maureen O'Hara, and Grace Kelly than....hmmmm... whoever the current hot female commodity is in Hollywood. I think I've also been stronger and more determined in saying nope when it comes to my lady characters since I'm a woman.

 

Next Worst Experience(s)

I think I brought on some of the stalkerish tendencies in certain members of the RPG community when it came to my male characters because I was more hesitant - at least early on - to state a categorical NO! This was because I was younger and a woman trying to write a believable male character in an imaginary universe. At that time, I really thought most men would never say no. Age and friendships with some strong, wonderful men taught me differently. One of my good friends and I still RP together and I don't hesitate to ask, "As a man, would you do xxxx in situation yyyyy?" 

 

So on to the next worst experiences in writing romance in RPGs!

 

The I'll get you no matter what, my pretty! writers. Most were - surprisingly - women. I'd say no to a romance solicitation by them and their attempts to show up at their door clad in nothing but a towel or nothing at all never ended. Had them tell me their gal was going to accidentally get pregnant prompting me to say, "Well, my guy ain't the baby daddy. He's had a vasectomy at birth." You get the picture!

 

Despite the early misadventures in RPG romance, I do enjoy a good, strong romance if it occurs naturally. I don't want to focus on it and I refuse to be harassed. I want to write with other writers and not just the love interest. Fortunately, as I moved away from the popular genres and into writing original characters (also older ones), it's mostly become a non-issue....except for one instance at one of my own games. I put the kibosh on romance of any kind for my main male character for the foreseeable future and the gal has quit writing entirely. That'll change or I'll archive her bio and move on.

 

Romance writing in an RPG can be fun, it can be rewarding, and it can add depth and development for both characters. 

 

It can also be miserable and make you nuts!

[Uaithne 543]

@Stormwolfe - in my experience, it's normally the people with the female characters who are going after the people with the male characters, not the other way around.  That's because this part of the internet has, in general, many more female characters than males, especially when it comes to people who are interested in RPing romance.  There have been several times in the past where new members would join and have their female characters throw themselves at my male characters and I'm like, "Dude . . . did you read his bio?  He's a giant asshole."  This has calmed down over the past few years, or perhaps it's because I'm not in the "real life" genre anymore.  I play mostly male characters, though, so that might be why I noticed it more.

[Death Kitten 200]

My worst experience was when a player approached me, wanting her male character to have a rebound after the player previously shipping with her split the game. That was cool by me, the intention was rebound turning into a friendship and both characters would move onto long term partners that better suited them.

 

The problem occurred when the other player then decided that the correct partner for her character was a yosafbridge situation from the Firefly episode Our Mrs. Reynolds. The player was so antsy to get it in place, she didn't do any plotting to make sure it was going to fit in with her character's relationships with anyone else in the game, and basically dumped my character to the curb without any warning... Then she was surprised when our characters didn't get along anymore. 😒

[Dragon 673]

Worst Experience 

Mine is definitely a scenario where the other writer couldn't take no for an answer. They decided they wanted to make a potential romantic interest for my character, and I said it was fine as long as they understood that I wasn't going to promise any specific result which they agreed to. Fast forward a few months, the relationship doesn't work out the way they want and this person loses their shit. 

 

I'll spare the details, but long story short they got so pissed off that all in all it resulted in them ending a long time, real life friendship (the other person involved was at their wedding) over these figments of imagination. By far both the worst and the craziest crap I've ever had to dick with.

 

Best Experience

Probably the stuff I've been doing with @Morrigan for the last couple of months. We move our characters through various settings whenever a good idea comes up. The relationships between them aren't what you'd call consistent, like two loathe each other in one but they're getting along pretty well in another, but seeing how the different backgrounds and surroundings impact the way they mesh is fantastic. Plus we both like to post fast so I've had more plot progression (in multiple completely different plots) in a few weeks than I have in literal years on other sites. 

 

 

1 hour ago, Uaithne said:

There have been several times in the past where new members would join and have their female characters throw themselves at my male characters and I'm like, "Dude . . . did you read his bio?  He's a giant asshole." 

 

In my experience people really dig the assholes. On one hand I get it, cause they can make for compelling and fun characters to interact with. The irritating thing about it, though, is more often than not it seems like the writer has this idea that their character can "fix" them and find that softer side or whatever. I have no problem if someone wants to try and go that route with my dick-bag characters, though, as long as they don't get pissy when, surprise, surprise, this life long asshole never actually comes around. 

[jenneral_jennson 154]

3 hours ago, Dragon said:

Worst Experience 

Mine is definitely a scenario where the other writer couldn't take no for an answer. They decided they wanted to make a potential romantic interest for my character, and I said it was fine as long as they understood that I wasn't going to promise any specific result which they agreed to. Fast forward a few months, the relationship doesn't work out the way they want and this person loses their shit. 

 

 

 

I’ve had an experience similar to this which is probably my absolute worst experience. It was more of a the player was incredibly inactive and I decided to take my people different routes and broke it off with theirs. Things got shitty from there. @Rune knows about it and the particulars. It was not pretty at all. Not at all. Turned me off a lot of different things and made me really leery about romance plots. 

 

My best experiences are usually with well known people like @Rune and @Kittenmitten. Every relationship plot we have has so much growth it’s incredible. Plus they don’t get all weird when my dick bag character is a dick bag. Because let’s face it, I have a lot of dick bag characters and they get me.

Edited November 17, 2017 by jenneral_jennson

[Elena 546]

I think the worst experiences were when people suddenly changed their minds mid-plot or vanished mid-plot. 

 

The best experience is when the writers can plot all kind of romance twists and write regularly.

[Morrigan 1,826]

I think my worst experiences are often like @Elena said, disappearing people/plots. I've also had problems with slow moving plots due to slower posters. It causes issues for me because my character timeline gets all fucked up and I have to abandon threads and off-screen the ending of them in order for them to work.

 

I have had a lot of good experiences with romance plots. A lot that I've integrated in some way shape or form into my characters histories or continued story (I always get permission to continue to use the pairing from the original author). I have a love and preference for romance plots that actually progress so @Dragon has been so awesome about it. I love switching things up in different universes and see how it plays out and have fun with it. All in all I just love to play out romance plots but they aren't the only ships that I enjoy.

[Guest BETA BLUE]

My worst experience was with one of my characters I had and developed forever. We got someone to payout the breakup after the original player of the canon left. But the player and another player grew obsessed with her.  

 

I never had that amazing romance plot that didn't end up in heartbreak or someone left. 

[Shades 676]

I'll start this off by saying I live for romance. I love, love, love roleplaying wives, girlfriends, lovers, no matter what. I just want it all. And, while I'm happy to do other relationships, asking me into a ship is definitely a good way of getting me interested. Now, for experiences:

 

Worst Experience 1

I would say it was at a place where I had this ship with a character. My guy and her girl had been long-time friends, and ended up getting together. No problem. But, she's a rapid-fire poster, and I'm not (that had been discussed prior to taking the ship), and she eventually ended up replacing my character with another one, by freaking out and dumping my character in the middle of a scene. Fine, whatever. I carried on, and eventually found him another ship, which was great. The characters meshed well, I got along with the writer, it was fine and dandy... until the guy who wrote the new ship with the previous one vanished, and she started trying to ruin my character's currently relationship IC and claiming that he had cheated on her, and then tried to demand OOC that I killed the current ship because 'our characters were supposed to be finals'. The other player and myself ended up bolting and moving elsewhere, and the ship's still flourishing.

 

Worst Experience 2

So, this one already started off poorly, and part of it was my fault. I had put up an ad for a male to my female for a very specific plot. Someone I knew started pushing to switch roles (me playing the male to her female) and I eventually caved. Again, I know this was partly on me. 

Whatever. The plot was basically that the characters would get married and she would eventually learn of some secrets he had. 

We started writing, and the first encounter our characters had was basically her character making false assumptions, calling mine a tyrant and even a pervert - he wasn't happy at all about it, but let it go, thinking he would never see her again. Well, later the same day, she was at his doorstep, as she had been kicked out of home. Fine, he took her in, had a room arranged for her and offered to take her as a maid until she could figure out what she was going to do. 

After this post I get a PM "wait, isn't he going to offer to marry her right now?". And there was some back and forth on it, which wasn't as dramatic, but pretty damn uncomfortable.

 

Shitty moment 3: Recently, I had some random stranger contact me over a request where I stated I was looking for a male for my female character, try to shift it around so that I would play the male to her female, and then accuse me of FORCING people to write males if they wanted to write with me. ¬¬ Ended up just blocking and ignoring this one, but dafuq?

 

Best Experience

This one is so hard. I think it was a ship in which my character lived at a farm, and had ended up marrying a farm hand. She became a super devoted mom (her child was in play, and he was super sweet) and they had an adorable family bond. The roleplay stalled after a while, but it was one of my favorite ships.

 

Personal Policy Now

I'm always open to romance, but I do like discussing it with my partner, as I want to make sure we're on the same page. I'll do fluffy and happy, dramatic, forbidden love, anything, as long as my partner and I are up for it.

 

Pet peeves? I'd say only people who refuse to write anything but smut without even the resemblance of a plot.

[SoulsRPG 15]

I don't roleplay romance plots all that much, but I do remember the best experience I've had with a long-term roleplay 'ship', and this was one of the best parts in general.

 

I had a character, Skye, who I'd created when I was 14.  Originally she was with another character, Bangle, for a little while - they kind of complimented each other, but the player went inactive, and so my character Skye got heartbroken (when players go inactive we tend to assume that their characters just leave the setting with no explanation unless the player gives one).

 

She did, however, eventually find someone else - Jazper.  It was really fun roleplaying them getting together since at that point they were both older, and had both been in committed relationships before, so it was tentative at first.  It was a classic strangers -> friends -> lovers type thing, and we roleplayed this development and their eventual relationship for years.  They ended up together and had children, went on cute dates, stuff like that - their relationship was great because Skye was a grouchy, morally-grey leader, while Jazper was a knight-in-shining-armor type with strong morals.  It was fun to roleplay their differing expectations of each other and in life, as well as Skye's various secrets that she kept from him.

 

The thing was, though, that Jazper was older, arthritic, and eventually became sick; after so many years together, he was dying.  Roleplaying the end of their relationship as he grew weaker and weaker was devastating, and roleplaying his death thread was heartbreaking.  It totally broke Skye, and in a way that was her goodbye thread too, since I dropped her soon after from lack of inspiration for the character after ~7 years of playing her.  It had been fun, and it ended aptly.  I like to imagine that Jazper visits her as a spirit.  (:

[Morpheus 14]

I will preface this with I have rarely written romantic ships and those few times that I have were a result of canon facilitating that. I tend to gravitate towards hateships and have a hell of a time writing them. I also mostly don't attract a lot of shippers, I don't know if it's my demeanor, or my characters are not typical of what shippers are drawn to. I don't know, I usually just get to sit in the sidelines watching others suffer through awkward shipping attempts. Except for this guy...

 

Worst Experience
Hmm... My best and worst are applicable to the same character. When it rains, it pours.

 

1) My bisexual male character appeared to have a burgeoning casual fling with a female character, cue unhappy member who takes it upon themselves to lecture me on my understanding of sexuality and why I made a bisexual character if I am lining him up with a female character.  There was absolutely no reasoning with this player, I probably pulled hairs out trying to reason with her. They just wanted some fetishized smut imo (if her other threads were any indication). I had to block her and deal with a rather toxic situation on a board I refused to leave but -sigh- I laugh about it now but at the time having players stalk your threads and make jokes at your characters expense in cbox is kinda hard to remain civil around. Much biting of tongue was had.

 

2) Two friends, long term, practically grown up together and out of the blue in a thread "I love you" is dropped. No warning, no discussion just my jaw on the floor and an accompanying IM after explaining how said remark was 'how this character has felt for some time' and that 'there was no pressure on me to respond in same'. So... I didn't. It didn't feel organic, it felt exploited and interchangeable. True to character, mine had misinterpreted it as familial love and I shot that ship down. No pressure... right? Just the fallout where I was... an unspoken tension at first, a handful of passive aggressive remarks publicly and privately, open hostility towards other characters which showed an interest in mine and eventually, absolute silence and ignorance of my existence. 

 

Best Experience(s)A
Right now? My first ever maybe ship! Maybe being that it's not 100% but argh, they're perfect and I'm enjoying the ride and joking around about them even if this for some reason, doesn't set sail. I'm kind of giddy with excitement because I adore the writer and the character and that these two characters just get each other without having to say a word, they perfectly orbit around the other and are perfectly in sync and it's this weird magical unicorn I didn't think my character would ever achieve, or that I would feel comfortable allowing. It's complicated, damning and probably not without a handful of trigger warnings that will keep them off a public board. I also found out that one of the other members not so secretly ship them already and it amuses me greatly. 

 

Personal Policy Now
I can't make promises, I can only agree to throw them in a thread and see how they bounce off each other. The characters have to click and the writers need to mesh. Expect a lot of threads.

Edited January 12, 2018 by Morpheus