If You Could Change One Thing in the RP World...

[Zahhy 130]

The one thing I wish I could change is Ghosting.

 

People joining a site and then disappearing without a word. Sometimes they post once, sometimes never, sometimes they post for months and then one day POOF they're gone. Sometimes they come back - but not really, and at that point, you have no trust in their ability to stay, because last time they disappeared without a single word! Will they do it again? How will you know?

 

I hate holding face-claims and characters for a few weeks just because someone dropped my site and didn't have whatever it takes to message me and tell me they are leaving. I have NEVER ghosted anything in my life and I know life gets on top of everyone, but with smartphones and everything, I know how easy it is to type "Can't play anymore. Sorry." and it is slowly killing me to see all of these inactive accounts and players on our board ESPECIALLY if they were mid-thread. Okay so now I have to assume how that conversation or event ended, and then move on and pretend your character is still around, but not dead, just in case you come back eventually. It is stressful and confusing and puts an insanely awkward amount of pressure on the people that are left hanging.

 

If I start writing with people, I feel like I owe them an explanation as to why I only post once a month, but I always post in LOAs if I know it will take me over a week to respond, and I've never left a site without a proper closing of all of my characters and threads, at least with the ADMIN so I've no concept or understanding or sympathy of how Ghosting can even be a thing and it should be nixed. You wouldn't expect to miss showing up to Sunday Night D&D and hope to never see or text your friends again, would you? What do you do if you see them at the grocery store? Duck behind a shopping cart?! If you wouldn't ghost people IRL to their face - how in the world did we decide it was okay to do online?

 

Maybe I put too much stock into my relationships online, but some of the people I've met here are near and dear to me. I can't imagine that one day I just LEFT without a word. To me, it is like just walking out of my house and not telling my family and then just never coming back. I left the dishes in the sink and the clothes on the line and the babies crying, but I'm gone so it isn't my problem anymore - peace.

 

Wow. I was more upset about this than I thought... but yes. Ghosting shouldn't be a thing in the RP community. People should have the courtesy, guts, etc to tell at least their admin, that they just can't anymore. No reason or explanation needed, just let the people running the show know so they can make the proper adjustments! 

 

*Disclaimer - I'm not talking about the situation in which something dramatic went down and people needed to disappear for their own good - particularly if admin were involved. I'm talking about everyone in between that just disappear because it is okay to do in the community. It is a widely accepted way to just move from one game to another without a peep! That's what I want changed.

[Huskerdust 625]

The stigma that comes with different forums. In some circles, it’s really obvious that you’re not a cool kid unless you’re with jcink. 

[Shades 676]

Whoever knows me is probably sick of hearing it, but the obsession with pretty. I'm so sick of it to the point where I want to just tell people to please, refrain from joining any site I run if all they want is a pretty site. I'm offering people a place to write, content, an easy app (which's almost not an app at all) and plotting opportunities. If none of that matters if the site's not pretty... honestly, my site's not the place for (general) you.

 

It puts me off of even working on a site when I get people ignore everything just to go "but the skiiiiiin!". I have had to tell people off because I've even got someone go on a major freak out and dump me a list of links of 'skins they liked' before there was even actually a site because 'you can't work on your site if you don't have a pretty skin'.

 

Can we just... stop and understand that different people value different things? It's not like there's a shortage of sites to join.

[Sadrienne 242]

On 11/18/2017 at 9:37 AM, Uaithne said:

The one thing I'd like to change is to have people not do things just because "that's how it is" or "this is how it's supposed to be." 

 

I second this. I've always been a big believer in following what you as an admin want to see, so I guess the thing I'd really like to see change follows on from that: I'd like to see more admins really go for what they want to make in a board. To buggery with what's popular and "gets members", more sites that really reflect the people who made them. 

 

I'd love to see less fear of being different, and more innovation. 

[VirusZero 176]

If there is only one thing I could pick to change and I had to accept the rest... it would be that I'd delete the "Social Justice" influence.

 

I could live with ghosting, the pretty focus, the playby love, account limits, software/host stigma, etc...  

They might annoy me, but all of them are less obnoxious than the sickening influence that creeps largely from tumblr. (Though I do also feel that some of those aforementioned issues are exacerbated by the SJW influence. For example, people so afraid of upsetting others that they'd rather never speak to them and ghost rather than say "Hey, this isn't for me thanks for your time." )

 

Now what do I mean when I say the SJW influence? Basically I mean the cesspool that is radical thirdwave feminist ideology. It's how we get crazy things like 56 genders. How the idea that disagreement is tantamount to rape. How people are so afraid to speak out because they might be called a racist/sexist/homophobe or what have you. The trigger warnings, safe spaces, cultural appropriation, and constant need to virtue signal are all signs of how despicable this influence is. 

None of that shit helps anyone. It doesn't fix problems. It doesn't make the world safer or less dark. It makes life worse for everyone. It makes people afraid to talk, to disagree, to joke. The very second that you have to start considering that someone, somewhere at some point could possibly be offended by what was said you start censoring everything you say. It makes everyone guarded and reluctant to say what they really think. It enforces a hivemind thought process where if you don't fall in line immediately with the order that you're a subhuman monster and must be purged. (The othering effect is particularly potent, it's what allowed actual Nazis to kill Jewish people... they degraded them until they felt it was ok to simply destroy.)

 

And it gets worse from there given how those who believe in "social justice" are so quick to turn and eat each other for the slightest thing. Laci Green (a staunch feminist) asked to listen to the "other side" and what happened to her? She got attacked for being moderate.The movie The Red Pill was so offensive that they refused to fund it despite being made by a feminist director. After kickstarter funded it "Social Justice" sorts tried to ensure theatres wouldn't play it. (It got banned in a few theatres in Australia.) So even so-called allies aren't that at all. 

 

Roleplay existed before this crap came about and did just fine. People weren't constant victims until the SJW influence made victimhood "hip". It wasn't a case that everyone played in the oppression olympics. Now look at how many people have some form of disorder, usually self-diagnosed at that, so they can feel special and bypass some of the negative elements they'd otherwise be saddled with.

 

Now if anyone feels the urge to explain how "Social Justice" helps people... don't waste your time. I've heard the claims and I've seen firsthand how the claims and the truth don't match up. So go shill your garbage somewhere else. And no, I'm not going to apologise. 

[webs 14]

I agree on the "social justice" point where it's overblown, with all those examples, and just makes life harder than it does anything about justice. Feminism itself is obviously brilliant, but the radical elements that seep into social networking, that witch hunt the smallest of things and cause more upset than the offending item... yeah. I've seen it seep into RP and I avoid that where possible, because in my experience they usually result in drama that spirals out of control. 

 

For my point, I'm going to say a rather typical one. Stereotypes. Now, obviously there are stereotypes for a reason, but it's when people constantly use the same stereotype and then complain that other characters are too alike theirs, or claim that this group of characters are just clones of each other. I've seen this happen especially with Hogwarts Houses - you have the brave stereotype, and that's about it, for Gryffindor, with the odd other thrown in that feels like a breath of fresh air. Oh, you want to play a Hufflepuff? Better hope they either love food or they sacrifice themselves to make everybody happy, but don't forget that they're shy and/or anxious too, and they never give up even though sometimes that contradicts their personality. Ravenclaw? Has to be super-duper smart or crazily creative, but mostly smart, or both, because Ravenclaw have to be smart, that's how they get in. Slytherin... it would take me a while to get through this, but purism does not automatically make your character a Slytherin, any of the Houses can have Purists, and they don't all need to be sarcastic or Dark-aspiring. 

 

But sometimes attempts to avoid stereotypes get too much too. Mainly, I've seen this on a bunch of websites from forums and other RP places, i first noticed it pre-2010 but it seems more common now... Muggleborn Slytherins who get bullied by EVERYBODY in their House and the writer makes comments about how they're doing something different. I've seen this just as much as Purist Prince/Princess Slytherin stereotype. Now, I do stereotypes myself, though I always try to set mine slightly apart - intelligence-seeking Ravenclaw? Also raised as a Purist but is wiser to how blood status doesn't really matter, and he has a touch of Slytherin in him. Ambitious and cunning Slytherin? Also deeply arrogant, brave, and exhibits Gryffindor traits in the worst way. Honestly, most characters are probably a blend of Houses more than people think. It probably doesn't help that a bunch of the evil characters in the actual books seemed two-dimensional Slytherins most of the time.

 

But obviously HP isn't the only one with that problem. Marvel RP? Hero Grows Up Poor And Fights For The Little Guy. This is used a lot in canon, and there are variants on it that make it unique, but too often you get selfless OC vigilantes where those are key points, the motivation being the same each time. Mutants who are always persecuted in relatively small ways but it affects them so much that they struggle to get along with humans... a lot of the X-Students were rescued from horrible situations, where they were locked up or experimented on, and when that stereotype comes into play it always seems the same as well (and people don't take into account things like anxiety disorders or PTSD or phobias coming from that). 

 

Maybe my issue isn't so much in stereotyping exactly, but instead making cardboard cut-out characters that have little development. It seems to be a really judgey, elitist way of saying it, and trust me I'd never turn down roleplaying with them, and writing with them can be fun! I just would like a little more variety with the characters I can write with, and a little less feeling like I'm writing with Peter Parker (But a Girl/Without Powers) with 10 different characters. Maybe people are more comfortable with sticking to a certain type, and when it's people who are newer to roleplay I understand it more because taking risks can result in not getting much interest... but please look at the next character you're writing to see if you're writing something that has been done a hundred times before in your own fandom, or if your character is a carbon copy of another of your characters but just has one small change (like a different gender or different nationality or a different power).

[CovertSphinx 710]

Small member bases being looked down upon as "Almost dead" and "not worth wasting time joining", because there's "not enough activity". Well, like, how do people expect sites TO get active? Two physical people can't be on 24/7, it's impossible. It's been suggested to me in the past that if you have less than 4 people willing to jump on an idea with you, it's not worth making the RP. 

[Rune 1,099]

3 hours ago, CovertSphinx said:

Small member bases being looked down upon as "Almost dead" and "not worth wasting time joining", because there's "not enough activity". Well, like, how do people expect sites TO get active? Two physical people can't be on 24/7, it's impossible. It's been suggested to me in the past that if you have less than 4 people willing to jump on an idea with you, it's not worth making the RP. 

Also, the opposite. Larger sites being brushed off because players can't hoard ranks or feel that they won't get any attention. Or, my favorite, assume there is some magical clique. More people means more opportunities. Fewer people means more input. Both have their distinct advantages. There's no reason either one should be a factor beyond personal preference.

[Rune 1,099]

14 hours ago, Zozma said:

The stigma that comes with different forums. In some circles, it’s really obvious that you’re not a cool kid unless you’re with jcink. 

 

Honestly, hating on any hosting. Who cares? If you don't like it, don't play on it. I'm more than tired of people shitting on Jcink because it isn't private hosting or PbeM or whatever. Not everyone has the time/knowledge/energy/money to dedicate to that. I don't like proboards so I just don't join proboards sites. Complaining about it doesn't help anyone and just pisses off the people that prefer that host. 

[Shades 676]

6 hours ago, CovertSphinx said:

Small member bases being looked down upon as "Almost dead" and "not worth wasting time joining", because there's "not enough activity". Well, like, how do people expect sites TO get active? Two physical people can't be on 24/7, it's impossible. It's been suggested to me in the past that if you have less than 4 people willing to jump on an idea with you, it's not worth making the RP. 

 

Amen to that. I absolutely hate it when people equate small sites to dead sites. Like, can we all just not? I personally happen to love small sites, and will join them over big ones any day of the week (note: nothing wrong at all with big sites, I just feel more comfortable on small ones).

[Richard Castle 7]

This may have been mentioned, already... But I would probably change the level of inclusiveness that comes with most sites (or lack, thereof). They claim to be inclusive then completely ignore new members or people that aren't in their little groups. It becomes disheartening after a while. 

[Vellamo 74]

On 30/11/2017 at 6:35 AM, VirusZero said:

If there is only one thing I could pick to change and I had to accept the rest... it would be that I'd delete the "Social Justice" influence.

 

I was thinking about this the other day, totally unrelated to your post, but if there was one thing I would love to change in RP would be: bringing up politics in general. I honestly don't care if you're a "SJW" or "anti-social justice", I don't want to hear it.

 

I don't walk into the cinema, looking to discuss abortion or rape. Just the same, I don't log in to write, wanting to talk about complex, emotionally-taxing real-world topics with what are (essentially) complete strangers. 

 

Even if I think talking about race in Hollywood films or gender in literature is fine, I don't think RP is the right place for it. From what I've seen, in RP, it ends up with a lot of negative emotions. It's makes me think of that conversational guideline when meeting new people: avoid R.A.P.E. (Religion, Abortion, Politics and whatever E is) and stick with F.O.R.D. (Family, Occupation, whatever the other two are). 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Quell 249]

This is about the RP world and real world combined into one short rant.

 

THE WORD RELATIONSHIP. 

 

Is literally the most frustrating word. Like -- you have to do all these dances when you're talking about unlabeled long-term interactions between two characters/people (Are they lovers, friends, acquaintances? Heaven forbid they has changed status a few times.) "Relationship" is literally supposed to be the general word for... you know different kinds of relationships. But instead. NOPE. just shove that on in to love/romanticness in addition to being the general word for extra confusion! 

 

I just want to be able to pitch "previous (platonic) relationship" without having an aneurysm or tossing in adjectives. do I just hate adjectives? is this rant actually about adjectives?

[Raven 18]

The attitudes towards sexual harassment. Board admins, in my experience, often take the path of least resistance either by straight up banning someone (which is sometimes appropriate) or by just ignoring the situation because they don't know what to do or because they don't really know what classifies as sexual harassment.

 

Unfortunately, in the world we live in today, many people may not realize a better way to handle such situations, and I think when issues of sexual harassment come up, the most important first step is to educate both parties about what was done wrong and how they can better handle the situation in the future - allowing the harassee to better protect themselves and to get away from toxic situations, and allowing the harasser to possibly avoid situations in which they make someone uncomfortable.

[Mystic By Moonlight 4]

Well one thing I would want to change is the general flakiness of a lot of players in the community. It's been happening since the beginning of my time playing and it's just a matter of people, not wanting confrontation or not being honest with themselves.  It's a lot easier for a site to move forward if you just tell us you're too busy to play your characters and we all stop waiting around for them to post. I've seen so many good sites die because of this, because of members waiting around for people who are never going to post, or never coming back, and then they get bored waiting, or lose their muse, so then they leave and it becomes a chain reaction.