Membership Guesswork dilemma

[Stat 60]

I think this depends a lot on site culture. I've spent a really high percentage of my rp years in a board where every RL month was a IC year, which meant it was pretty much accepted you only had one or two threads with other people in your character's life each year, and everything else was either headcanons you discussed with your partners, or what you call guesswork. Of course, in this site it had to be acceptable for players to assume things that hadn't been written had still happened, and this was usually something you discussed with your partners and was seen as natural. 

 

This doesn't mean we only wrote heavily conflict-oriented scenes either, but I think that, because we only had those one or two threads to work with, we put a huge amount of thought about which moments of our characters lives we chose. Every single word you wrote had to count for character development, or a year would have gone by and your character didn't do anything. So if your character's year had been about adapting to married life, you'd need at least one of those threads to be a paradigmatic moment of that life - not something huge on conflict, not your character's mum plotting to poison your character's wife - but something that symbolized what they were like together.

 

And I think I'm getting a little lost, so I'll try to get to my point: I agree with you that not only heavy-conflict scenes should be played out, or you lose the real interaction, the real dynamic between characters. But I also think that jumping from A to D and using guesswork to fill B and C doesn't mean you're not getting all of the subtleties of your character's life and personality. I think it's a lot more about knowing how to choose the right scenes to play out - when I roleplayed in that site I would have one or two scenes per IC year with every other character and everything else would be guesswork, and my characters' histories and relationships were still satisfying, intricate and full of subtleties.  

[Quell 249]

I think of threads as movie/play/TV scenes (for lack of a better explanation) -- you don't see every instant of Sherlock and John sitting in their apartment together. That is to say, if two characters meeting is an important plot point, then I will write it out in detail, but if them meeting had no bearing then I'm not super interested and would rather say "maybe they've met before, but now..." I certainly have done meet-and-greet threads, and often I enjoy them, but I'm entirely comfortable implying/inferring/discussing less important plots with the player. 

 

For instance, I have a character who is friends with another character. These two characters have known each other for over 6 years IC, but we have done 5ish?? threads with them, total. We've discussed major points in their relationship, but we haven't done any non-present threads, and we might never bother; we just shoot each other messages ("Can I assume that ____" or "Would you mind if ____") to make sure that we're on the same page about their past and present relationship.

 

I'm easily bored, so the idea of doing seven different "hey let's go get lunch" threads that have no impact is entirely unappealing when character have a weekly lunch meeting to stay in touch.

 

-- All that said, I really think it depends on the RPers and the community (like everything else). Writing out every moment doesn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it doesn't work for someone else! 

[Elena 546]

@Thyme: I don't believe in writing every moment either. Just what is important  In one week living together under the same roof, the in-laws had spent surely more moments together... regular dinner or so... and I agree, that's nothing to write about.

Edited January 5, 2018 by Elena

[Uaithne 543]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems that the issue is more about your partner being unwilling to support your needs rather that a "detail vs. summary" conflict.

 

In which case, have you tried talking to her to clearly state your concern about the situation and needs as a writer rather than just focusing on the issue of having certain types of threads? I think the difference in what I'm saying is subtle, so I'll try to rephrase: emphasize what you need as a person to fully enjoy writing rather than what the story needs or what the character needs.

 

This is a harder idea to grasp, and it might be something your partner never thought about.

 

@Elena

[Kit the Human 758]

^ 100% this. 

 

I would struggle in the situation you're describing and I don't have a great need to discuss characters (I do it, I enjoy it, but it isn't as important to me as it is to others.)

 

You'll notice that pretty much everyone who said that they don't need to rp out every scene (or some variation of that theme) also advocated talking about those scenes so that both parties know what happened. 

 

In your situation, it sounds like that conversation isn't happening. I think everyone here would struggle in this scenario. 

 

It's really lovely that you're doing your best to accommodate this other RPers desires but you're an important part of the RP partnership as well. You need to communicate that you need these details. If they struggle to provide them, perhaps do the legwork for them and propose something that you know they won't like. I've found people are more forthcoming in their opinions when they're threatened with something they don't like. ;) 

 

[Raven 18]

I have an experience much more akin to Bass. I would definitely get frustrated not doing headcanons, and the people who don't discuss those sorts of things aren't people I frequently write with, and I definitely agree with what's been said. Part of every relationship - online, offline, platonic, and romantic, is for both sides to get what they need.

Edited January 6, 2018 by Raven

[Elena 546]

Thank you all, and especially @Uaithne, @Kit the Human and @Raven. I will try to get a discussion on what had happened in between, and to obtain her character's reactions. In this case, I can be fine with the actual threads not happening. Hopefully I make her understand... And yes, it had never occurred to say that "it's me as a writer who need it". I am accustomed to think and say "The story needs it - look, there is even a creative writing article highlighting that!"  (if it is one in my support, of course).

 

Yes, it is not exactly a "summary vs detail" and more rather her impossibility to understand that characters' reactions to a person can influence opinions, further attitudes and ultimately the relationship between them. For her, in between conflicts it's just "eh, the same ordinary life", while for me I remember that even before marriage, when having a boyfriend, getting to know his family was an important step I was fretting for. (And that even the "ordinary life" can entail little discoveries and milestones).

 

Even in the novel which will be published this spring, the only one where my characters have families to be introduced to, my heroine, Emilia, was terribly nervous, nearly fainting, when she met his mother, next to his hospital bed, adding this to her distress that he had been attacked and hurt. Especially when his mother (who was friendly towards her) told her that they shared a passion for the same poet (and it meant that she had found the love letters her son received from Emilia.) This was embarrassing! But the mother offered, on their way out of the hospital, to take her for a ride home, in the process learning more about her... This was the first step in support of their relationship. And I think all these reactions were normal.

 

As for meeting his father, that had happened when she was invited for Christmas (together with other people, according to the customs), as his father was working in another city and returning for holidays only. ("Friends, help! I was invited by his family for Christmas! What should I wear? What gifts would be better to offer them?") Also I described her looking at his father, greeting him, blushing and when all of them kneeled in prayer, she prayed to be accepted by his family. Wasn't this all human, and without... greater nitpicky details?

Edited January 6, 2018 by Elena

[Uaithne 543]

I think another aspect we're missing is that with novels, if you are writing and you wish you had added an interaction scene previously, you can go back and edit it in.  Then you can edit other scenes afterwards as needed to reflect this new information.  It's not quite so easy when writing in a roleplay environment.  If you want to write a previous scene because you realize its importance, you can, but you can't* go back through all your threads since then and update information to reflect what your character has learned since then.

 

*I mean, you can, but that would be a pain in the ass.