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Red Flags


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Potential RP partner: keeps flaking out on me ;-; Or they just don't pitch in either in plotting or writing, etc. and/or shows no excitement/interest in ideas but shows interest in other peoples stuff.

Site: staff have behavioural problems (bullying members through apps, singling them out, making assumptions, blowing things out of proportion, etc.); virtually no effort put into a site; staff/founder with no initiative or backbone; community has behavioural problems; site is made by certain people known for making and dropping sites on the fly; staff who make up rules or lore info and spread them by word-of-mouth rather than updating it in the site info

Potential member: didn't read the rules and rushed into things (only one who rushed stuck so far); toxic behaviour/complains a lot on the cbox for this and that; virtually never posts yet sticks pops in and out; repeatedly ignores staff warnings, etc.

 

Of course, people have proven "red flags" wrong, and it's not right to quickly judge or assume. Sometimes they can be really quite surprising in a good way.

Edited by iota
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On 3/11/2018 at 11:09 AM, Goddess Freya said:

Not sure if this has been said before or not, but people popping into the chat asking "Is this site premium? 😉 "

 

I don't know why, but it sends up red flags every single time. I don't mind premium sites, or "mature" topics, but when then first question out of someone's mouth is that, I'm like "Okay are you just here for sex or what?" I've noticed that when people don't get it immediately either, they tend to vanish within a week or two. So I just get wary around that.

 

I know this is a bit old, but I saw this and realized another option: the potential member may be checking that a self-proclaimed 333 site is appropriately backed by premium software.  Since there are still lots of non-premium sites that allow adult content, the potential member may want reassurance that the site isn't going to be poofed away for violating TOS.

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Sites that generally are full of 'cliques'. I cannot stand rping cliques that exclude anyone new. i've had that happened to me before. while i am disabled, my disability has nothing to do with not being able to post. in fact, i have more time to DO posts for replies. I would never use that as an excuse to a behavior though. that's simply wrong.

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  • 10 months later...

What @GreaterRealmssaid! I've dealt with many sites who's administrators and users are completely childish. Many of them fit these categories. Nevertheless, I try to keep an open mind. Not everyone can be perfect and accepting the flaws with the good is alright sometimes.

 

Going to extremely ditto the IC to OOC mixing though. Roleplay and discussions outside of that are two different things... 😞

owner of some website ❤️

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  • 2 months later...

Having a list of banned PBs. Not banning the use of say, the Columbine shooters, or Timothy McVeigh, etc, but banning specific celebrities because they're "problematic".

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34 year old woman living in the eastern US. Time zone is EST.

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As an admin:

-When someone joins and immediately talks about their last site or talks about how they just got kicked off one (WHY would you EVER say this??? If it was for a stupid reason, at least save the conversation for after first impressions)

-When the person only ever talks about their FC or character only

-When a new member asks me if they can make a character with [X trait here that clearly isn't allowed in the rules], like, no, no one can--you're not the exception

 

As a member:

-When the rules are condescending or talk to prospective members like children, especially if it's on a premium site.

-When you join a discord and the admins treat you like a number rather than a person

-When someone wants to plot just because of the FC and admits to not reading anything about their app

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People who plot with you but then find something better so drop you like a hot potato. I'll be very reluctant to plot with that person again.

 

Staff who act like they're above the rules. They're there for everyone, so you have to lead by example!

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Find me on my sites!
The Next Incantation :: The Last Island
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  • 3 months later...

As a member:

- When admins and their inner circle get special items/treatments for their characters, while the rest aren't allowed the same things. Just trashy.

- Other members nagging me that it's my turn, immediately after they posted. I already saw your tag and it's barely been an hour. Please don't.

- People who cannot take criticism or direction, and see anything as a personal attack. Wrote something that is incorrect about what my character was actually doing? I'll let you know. No harm done, unless you react like you're offended and how I'm a big meanie, in which case I'll make a note not to RP with you again.

 

All these red flags, if persistent, tell me that I'm not going to gel with that person.

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As an Admin:

- When you are checking out the site and your first questions are asking if we can change how things work to fit your ideas. No, we aren't going to bend the rules and lore of our site.

- When you are asking staff to check your app (that you haven't finished) every time you edit it to "see if it's okay so far". I understand joining a site can be nerve-racking for some people and you want to make sure everything is okay but please just finish the app. We'll check it then. (we temporarily had a rule about this because of how often we were being asked to check apps that's weren't done yet)

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1. Banning members before they've had a chance to even break any rules on the site, because another person messaged the admin and said something bad about them. How do you know said person wasn't lying or mad because they had personal drama with that person? 

 

2. When staff try to get you to join by saying 'we need these canons filled' and then stop even talking to you at all when you mention an OC idea you had instead. You know what the solution is buddy? Don't allow OCs if you're gonna be like that!

 

3. When rules are written to sound like they're attacking the reader. It's just not necessary!

Edited by graceomalley
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  • 7 months later...

After a few years of realizing that I shouldn't accept this any longer: a co. admin/founder who doesn't show remotely similar levels of investment in a site that's supposed to be "our baby." If it takes them forever to post yet you know they have been on other sites just fine (this is assuming you know how they are in general), put your foot down and put an end to it. Members notice when an admin doesn't care, even if they occasionally flop in the server and do a line or two in the IC chat to show their presence.

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  • 4 weeks later...

My favorite is always when they join and immediately want a romantic relationship with the first big canon or “hawtie” they see.

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  • 2 weeks later...

A big red flag to me are the type of people that want ideas spoonfed rather than trying to contribute. Don't let me create your character for you!

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