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On 4/2/2018 at 11:51 PM, bunny said:

Sites that generally are full of 'cliques'. I cannot stand rping cliques that exclude anyone new. i've had that happened to me before. while i am disabled, my disability has nothing to do with not being able to post. in fact, i have more time to DO posts for replies. I would never use that as an excuse to a behavior though. that's simply wrong.

 

Oh I hate that. I have left a few sites because they were so full of cliques you just could not even get started in them.

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As an admin:

-New members who waltz into the Discord/Cbox, proclaim they're going to make a specific type of character, and then basically admit they didn't read the lore. 99.9% of the time, they're the ones who are going to push back any time you say no, or demand that the lore be changed for their character.

-Actually, just people who balk when you tell them no in general instead of trying to compromise or hear you out if its an idea they're passionate about.

 

As a member:

-When you're the new guy that's still not 100% on the lore/setting, so you make what's essentially a cannon fodder character until you get a feel for it... and then everybody ignores you suddenly.

-When, on like the second day of being in a site's Discord, another member comes to you with an invite link for a second server for the site that the admin/staff don't know about, claiming there's less drama there.

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On 6/1/2020 at 6:41 AM, ThriftStoreTeeth said:

-When, on like the second day of being in a site's Discord, another member comes to you with an invite link for a second server for the site that the admin/staff don't know about, claiming there's less drama there.

Wow, that's just so bad that members feel they need to do that. 

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"You tie the knot, I'll start the fire."

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As an admin:
-character profiles that clearly indicate that the member did not read the lore

-players who want special snowflake custom things out of the gate. In the Zoids RP I help manage, had several people want to try and add their own custom Zoids to the roster right out of the gate even before character approval, and in the Yu-Gi-Oh! RP I help manage, there have been a few players who have tried to make custom cards or full on archetypes out of the gate (we eventually had to limit custom archetypes to members who had a decent number of IC posts already) Those have been my major experiences with stuff like that, but whenever it happens, it's an immediate red flag.

As a member:
-chatspeak RPing on forum RPs. (Asterisks to indicate actions and all that jazz with very, very short posts.)

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When someone clearly hasn't read your app, and that reflects in their writing. For example, they see your character and say some prose like "he had bright blue eyes", when they're actually brown or something like that. Just ticks me off to no end. Like, if you don't care, why should I?

On 6/1/2020 at 6:41 AM, ThriftStoreTeeth said:

As an admin:

-New members who waltz into the Discord/Cbox, proclaim they're going to make a specific type of character, and then basically admit they didn't read the lore. 99.9% of the time, they're the ones who are going to push back any time you say no, or demand that the lore be changed for their character.

-Actually, just people who balk when you tell them no in general instead of trying to compromise or hear you out if its an idea they're passionate about.

 

As a member:

-When you're the new guy that's still not 100% on the lore/setting, so you make what's essentially a cannon fodder character until you get a feel for it... and then everybody ignores you suddenly.

-When, on like the second day of being in a site's Discord, another member comes to you with an invite link for a second server for the site that the admin/staff don't know about, claiming there's less drama there.

Haha, wow. The secret server one is unbelievable. That's how you know when the staff is responsible for creating drama then. 😄

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  • 2 weeks later...

TBH I never know what to do with members who like, create characters that don't fit the lore, because I'm the kind of person who wants to give them the benefit of the doubt, or be like okay, maybe if we give them some direction and a few good nudges here and there, it'll turn out fine!! Not to mention like, I'm not super confrontational too, so I always feel really bad when I have to tell people to change their characters LOL, it's something I need to work on. 

 

Other red flags are: 

 

When someone RPs with you and you already get a vibe that they're pushing you towards a relationship or a romance from the get go. 

Even more red flags when your character shows any signs of perhaps not being interested in their gender and they immediately back out of the thread super quickly/find an out. 

 

People who add crazy events and 'lead' the roleplay down a rabbit hole. That's not to say that I don't like it when people take charge or want to add a bit of spice and adventure into a random open thread, but when for example, two characters are about to go to teh coffee shop and all of a sudden they just derail it by having their character suddenly get robbed by a stranger and finds a mysterious beast that saves them all, it's like...that's not going to happen in real life....not to mention I was expecting this to go one way and you just....derailed the entire thing and now I don't know how to react because I'd never imagine my character in a situation like this where everything feels like a fevered dream

 

Creators who aren't active but still micromanage. Like, if you're not active on your own site and all your staff are doing the work, it's time to step down and let them run the game, because veto-ing good ideas just because they're not how you envisioned the site isn't going to work out. The users will resent you for it. 

 

Admins/creators who don't understand that even though they created the original lore/format, that other users have contributed just as much to the site. Creators who think all the lore just belong to them really don't think much of their community and it's that attitude that runs a site to the ground. 

 

Big differences in the staff's activity. If there's one staff who's constantly on replying to everything and doing all of the jobs and one that only shows up once a month even though they have the same jobs/expectations, a lot of the time there's going to be resentment. 

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  • 2 years later...
On 6/16/2020 at 3:28 PM, achromatic said:

Creators who aren't active but still micromanage.

 

 

This semi-happened on two different occasions. One was the board owner of the lore, the other was the site owner.

Spoiler

Basically the site owner terminated a Board Leader because they asked her to be productive but she wasn't and essentially said no. 90% of the lore on the board was hers. She took the demotion personally and left, a new BL was put in place. She came back and essentially bullied the BL into holding the inactive board hostage, telling him what he could or couldn't do with her lore (if the mere thought of deleting her stuff came up, she had a meltdown and claimed everyone hated her), even though she could have backed it up and taken it with her elsewhere. I finally confronted her about it, but the site ended up going inactive so it's just read only anyway.

 

The second instance with the site owner is different, but kind of applied--it was an interest check for a roleplay in one of my territories another member was doing, where the site owner came in and made a really random (in)correction to my lore that happened in a thread he was not involved with. The member asked me what was happening, and I stepped in, but I wasn't expecting the site owner to aggressively rebuke the clarification I provided. He kept insisting on changing the lore, and then when I agreed to he got really impatient, short and negative--I was thinking, "I'm so confused, am I changing the lore, am I not changing the lore? What is the end result you're trying to achieve?!" Turns out he forgot a key piece of lore and that I was, in fact, correct with my original clarification. He then essentially regurgitated what I already clarified and then went away. No one posted in that member's interest check  after that so it also ruined that person's chance at a neat RP plot.

 

Moral of the story: If it's yours--do what you want with it, but don't bully others about it.
If it's not yours, stay out of it and don't bully others about it.

 

---

 

One red flag for me is a site owner who goes out of their way to be super extra great to new and prospective members...but selectively invests in senior members but otherwise doesn't bother with existing users.

 

I also am wary of staff or admins who openly engage in a negative confrontation around users. It might be the business degree and management training but...I was trained to do that away from the public eye, and I feel like that corresponds to even a hobby like this one.

 

Another red flag is an openly distrustful/difficult staff member. If you present viable, irrefutable proof something you wrote is in fact yours and they still give you a hard time and don't believe you or won't comply to requests you've asked of them about it? They are probably looking for trouble.

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Tlaloc, my love...

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- Staff that tells me 'you don't have to use this certain face claim' but every step of the way hound me to look at pictures of that face claim. Then takes their sweet time or flat out ignores my finished application until I 'consider' using that face claim I 'didn't have to use' in the first place.

 

- When staff uses a previous members name as a verb or straight up gives them the 'he who shall not be named' treatment but are constantly bringing 'he who shall not be named' up.
 

- When you have a 'in the past' type of ship relationship with someone's character. And that player gets mad when they suggest a 'in the past' thread and its not instantly smut and 'worse' when you have no intention of it going smut.

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  • 1 month later...

As an admin - 

  • 21 Questions. Questions are not bad. I love questions. Ask all the questions! ... after you've read the lore. It is very, very clear when someone hasn't read lore and it is such a wild red flag. 
  • Me, not my character. This is a "as a member" red flag for me too. When you discuss plots, or talk about a scene or character, and the person refers to the character as themselves. "Oh I'd do this..." "I love killing." 
  • Negativity. We all have bad days. I gripe about how I feel like I'm falling apart (only got myself to blame) at least twice a week. But I will never understand people who complain about lore, rules, colour scheme, apps, etc without taking a breath. Why... are you here when it seems we aren't the right fit?
  • Mutual friends. Admin suspicion UNLOCKED LET'S GO. I will always stalk someone's mutual friends and mutual discords when they enter the server. Always. Friends with a walking red flag is normally nothing... but it could be something. 

As a member - 

  • Criticism. Taking and giving. I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by the way they take on criticism, but also by the way they provide it. Seen admins flip, and seen them ridicule. Red. flag. 
  • Standoffish. I am a low maintenance person and certainly don't require your undying attention. But I find it a red flag when admins don't say hello or welcome you to the server. I'm not talking about plotting because I don't believe admins should be forced to plot with every single person and character. I'm talking about a 'hello new guest, let me know if you need any help'. It's odd to me, and not a great first impression. 
  • DTF? Yes, and no. Who are you? Why are our characters going to bump uglies? Don't tell me because they're hot and can. It won't fly with me... mostly because I probably don't know you. I know for some this is fine, but for me? It's a red flag when there's no plot attached. 
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  • 3 weeks later...
On 8/20/2022 at 8:54 PM, Lady Hyde said:

As an admin - 

  • 21 Questions. Questions are not bad. I love questions. Ask all the questions! ... after you've read the lore. It is very, very clear when someone hasn't read lore and it is such a wild red flag. 
  • Me, not my character. This is a "as a member" red flag for me too. When you discuss plots, or talk about a scene or character, and the person refers to the character as themselves. "Oh I'd do this..." "I love killing." 
  • Mutual friends. Admin suspicion UNLOCKED LET'S GO. I will always stalk someone's mutual friends and mutual discords when they enter the server. Always. Friends with a walking red flag is normally nothing... but it could be something. 

Yes these points exactly. I've had a few people join a site in the past and I'm happy to answer questions but when everything they ask is explained in painful levels of detail on lore pages only for them to say they never looked at them just immediately went to asking me questions. Also had someone that couldn't separate their character from themselves in more ways than just meta gaming. Have a member on my current site that is using an alias and is friends with a toxic person I know. They joined my site just to see if 'the rumors were true' when they saw they weren't they begun to distance themselves from that toxic person but I was highly sus of them after figuring the connection out.

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  • 4 months later...

I left a site that I really liked, and all the reasons boiled down to bad staff:

  • Blatant flaunting of the rules by staff and their friends; they ignored their own limits on canon characters, responding to activity checks, application review and acceptance, etc.
  • Staff hoarded canon characters and then proceeded to only ever write with each other and their handful of non-staff friends (who also hoarded canons), effectively blocking anyone from being able to be involved in the site's overarching plots
  • And that's if they were online at all; one of the admins was only ever online once in a blue moon, but like other staff, had more canons than their own rules allowed, so those canons were basically just nonexistent on that site.
  • Constant drama and fight-picking; the final straw for me was when I and a number of other concerned members came forward to address these issues (and we spent a long time figuring out how to discuss them in a way that would be constructive and feel like a discussion, not an attack). It almost immediately devolved into fighting, name-calling, and a bunch of other really childish crap that led to a big chunk of the site's membership cutting ties and leaving.

What really sucked was that I liked the members, but the staff were so selfish and toxic that it made staying there untenable; in hindsight, I wonder why they even bothered making a site if they were completely disinterested in playing with anyone but themselves.

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When someone starts telling me what my character would do, when we JUST started talking. I don't mind when someone throws out ideas or headcanons about my character if we've been RPing for a while and they know my  character well enough... But if we JUST started talking and you're getting everything wrong about assumptions for my characters, it's a huge turn off for me as typically those people try to steer you into plots your character would likely not be in. 

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