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How do you handle the "I need to post" crowd that never does?


Rune
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Ignoring them works well. Although I do drop an occasional "Yay!" because I know what it is like to know you need to post and RP has currently swamped me. Sometimes encouragement helps, other times it seems to have the opposite effect and seems to encourage that behaviour. 

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If I see someone saying stuff like that but not posting, I'll usually ignore it the first few times. I mean maybe they actually are working on a post but get delayed due to work or computer issues or whatever. Stuff happens and sometimes posts can take a while. (Especially if it's a longer post too.) But if it's been a while and they've been saying that stuff a fair bit well then I'm going to message them to ask if they need help.

 

Sometimes people have been stuck but have just been too shy to ask for help.

(Which, not going to lie, kinda annoys me. I mean instead of saying "I'm going to post"  they could have said "Hey, I'm kinda stuck here can you help me?"... and this issue would have been solved quicker. Instead it had to get dragged out. And on top of that, saying "going to post" but meaning "I'm stuck" does kinda sound like deliberately lying and misleading others to me. It's more expecting people to read between lines, something I discourage anyone from doing or expecting others to do, and guess a hidden meaning.)

 

But if I offer help and they either refuse or have some ideas and they still keep saying they're going to post... Then I become a lot less sympathetic. At this point I will very much tell them to either post or stop saying they will. At that point I don't care if they post, I just am tired of being lied to. And yes it might come off a bit callous, but it tends to put a stop to the behaviour pretty quick. 

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I get the occasional writer's block or real life interfering...

 

It's when it becomes an hourly ritual that I start to get pissy about it. 

 

Does your opinion change when it has become all someone has said for months without actually posting?

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I didn't know it was such a detested habit, TBH? Sometimes I'm too busy or not feeling well, and I poke in the cbox to tell everyone I know I should post, but I can't do it right now because Reasons. It's not to "get attention" but to inform people I'll be back, since ghosting leaving no trace is a common habit in RP.

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1 hour ago, featherstone said:

I didn't know it was such a detested habit, TBH? Sometimes I'm too busy or not feeling well, and I poke in the cbox to tell everyone I know I should post, but I can't do it right now because Reasons. It's not to "get attention" but to inform people I'll be back, since ghosting leaving no trace is a common habit in RP.

 

There's a world of difference between this and what I'm talking about, someone who constantly promises to write some posts but never does.

 

What you're talking about it is keeping everyone in the loop.

 

What I'm talking about is someone who makes a habit of empty promises. Or not even promises, just an endless litany of I need to post. I should post. I really should post. I have so many posts right now. I'm drowning in posts. etc etc

 

There's nothing wrong with not being able to post, for whatever reason! We all appreciate that there's a reason why you can't respond to your posts that week. Maybe you're in a depressive funk. Maybe work has slaughtered and pickled your brain. Maybe you're just enjoying a new book or game!

 

But there are people who honestly make so many promises to post and then they don't. They'll do this for weeks and months! That's an annoying habit. You reach a point of going, mate, just write anything. I don't care if it's not award winning, but break the mental wall that you've built up for some reason. No one can do that but you.

 

Hell though, maybe that's actually your pace. That's ok too, but don't raise expectations. Don't make empty promises.

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On 1/21/2018 at 7:08 PM, musicdiva1331 said:

Sometimes, I literally just have no idea how to respond. I feel blocked in, as mentioned by a few folks above, and I can't even figure out how to FORCE a post and I suck at breaking a ship or telling a person "hey, you've really put me in a weird spot here where I'm absolutely stumped".

 

I've had a lot of trouble with this, too.  It's hard to break it to someone, because you never know how they'll respond.  And sometimes, the changes they make don't actually help at all.  On the other side of that, I wish I knew a better way to make people feel comfortable with letting me know when I block them in, because I try to make my post 'respondable', and be approachable.  

 

As for having periods of being unable to post, I have that too.  (Usually during finals, since I'm a university student.)  I'm trying to design my site to allow for people who usually post frequently, but occasionally need a few/several weeks off.

 

I don't tend to say 'I need to post' in the cbox/discord, though sometimes I do promise posts sooner than I can deliver.  Although I try to be understanding, I can get frustrated when others do if they consistently don't follow through, mostly because I can get really disappointed.  Eventually, I'm likely to start to ignore the person entirely (bad, I know).

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Yeah, there's an enormous difference between the casual letting people know you're around and struggling and literally doing nothing but.

 

If you're only saying you need to post every now and then and actually getting it done (eventually) that's one thing and that's totally fine!

 

Most of the complaints are for those that say, over and over again, that they need to but then nothing ever comes of it. They repeat themselves, they cannot contribute to a conversation because all they can do is talk about how they need to post and yet somehow seem incapable of doing so.

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@Rune yeah, I feel like every site has at least one of these. I'm always terrified that it's me, even if I only rarely am saying "I need to post but work/mental health/mobile/sporks falling from sky" whatever. 

 

@Blahblahbertha I so do not miss being a student. Finals was like...the worst because I ALWAYS WANTED TO POST and I never had time.

 

Now my biggest thing is like, I'll get started on a post, and work will BLOW UP. aka one of our guests with SMI will go crazy and start doing weird ass shit and I have to help de-escalate or clean up, or whatever, and then I get back to my computer and data and maybe to the post and literally have forgotten whatever it was I was writing and just can't find the brain for it, because of things like...oh, being an FBI agent in my spare time (hah) or trying to convince someone that the color of your shirt does not cause heart palpitations. And there are only so many posts and words my brain can come up with after 10/11 pm when everything is done for the day. So I try not to say I need/want to post, but I feel like I do. #anxiouspeopleprobs

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In some ways, I am that person. I'm consistently: I need to post. But also, there are a ton of other things that need doing, so sometimes it just doesn't happen. I'm frequently weeks behind. However, I don't really do site plots much, so tbh, the people who that bothers can not write with me; the people who do write with me kind of just have to deal with it. That said, I also do other things around the site constantly. This week, I'm the only admin who can be on full-time, the others are only popping in for an hour or so a day (which I can handle just fine, but it definitely keeps me busy on a site as big as TNI! We've had 15 new apps posted in the last three days!)

 

I'd say as long as they aren't breaking the activity rules, it's kind of up to your players to choose whether to play with them or not. If you don't want to clog it in the chat, perhaps talk to them about maybe talking about something else.

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It's called a 'Silent Activity Check' on my site. No IC post for over 30 days (and no official away notice,) and then it's up to the discretion of the admins whether to keep the account active or move it to the Inactive group. After 60 days of no IC posts, it's moved regardless. I call them 'Gunnas' 'gunna post this weekend, gunna get that thing done tonight...'  Translation gunna = going to but never do.

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This is one of my biggest pet peeve. Not only is it annoying for everyone to hear you say 'I should post' for months but, in my experience the longer you put off writing, the more difficult it becomes.

 

Not only that...but when you leave other players waiting for weeks, months. They move on or are 'over' the thread all ready, or their characters way beyond what's happening there and they don't even want to reply anymore.

 

So then if they do ever post... then the other players don't want to reply. It can become a vicious cycle. 

 

I notice a lot of people like that are the most chatty, lurky on the sites too. If you have time to be in the chat box all day, or to read everyone else's threads, you have time to write. 

 

I wish I could just say that. 

 

 

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I just can't ignore or be rude to my members. Sometimes people get stuck in a rut. And they can't climb out. Maybe they will never climb out. Maybe they need someone to do the climbing for them. Do I always have the time and patience for this? No. But ignoring or being rude to them is just going to drive them away. And while I'm fine with people fading out and leaving, I'm not interested in driving them out over something as continually saying they will post and not. They will suffer the natural consequences of their actions without my help.

 

Or maybe with a bit teeth gritting, I can get them back in. Because I have been that person, who really wanted to post, but was stuck in the this hole I couldn't get out of. And no one offered to help, even when I tried tossing out ideas. So. I didn't post. Ever. And felt 100% unwelcomed by the community I had been a part of for a rather long time. A community I had advertised on sites like this, and told all my friends about. Now I don't do any of those things either.

 

Fault all around. So I don't go out of my way to make it harder on a member already struggling for whatever reason. They are still my member and a part of our community. And if they just want to hang out for a year not posting, well, then they can. I can shift plots and characters elsewhere if needed, to work around their lack of activity if its not possible to get them back into action.

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Even as an admin on my website, I'm always like that but usually my mates force me and pester me to get stuff done. I guess that would be the best way if they keep repeating that they need to post over and over again, be straight, polite and honest and they'll either go or sort themselves out.

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  • 1 month later...

hahahahah, damn, i literally am one of these people. i had no idea it annoyed others so much, i'll stop. for me, its purpose is to inform anyone who's waiting on me that i see them, i know they're waiting, and i haven't forgotten and it's on my to-do's. it's supposed to be a courtesy but maybe it's actually more annoying than helpful. LMFAO. learn things every day i guess. 

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