How Can I Be a Better Member?

[Kit the Human 759]

I have overheard some whispers in the corners of the forums. Whispers quickly hushed, the conversation moved on as the whisperers furtively glanced at one another. Had they been overheard? Yes, yes you have. These whispers suggest that over time, members of the RP community have grown selfish or overly picky, as if we demand absolute perfection from our forums. I admit, initially, I disagreed. This is a hobby, I said to myself, we have a right to find a place that works for us! We need not put up with anything that rubs us wrong! I disagree now. There will always be something that rubs us wrong, no matter where you go, there will be someone who don't like so much. A colour that you find distasteful. Or...any other number of things. After all, humans are 0.4% salt.

 

So my friends! My countrymen! My acquaintances! Perhaps it is time to turn the light on ourselves and ask:

 

How can I improve as a member?

 

Even an admin can ask this of themselves! 

 

To start the ball rolling.

- I can improve as a member by being expressively excited about writing with someone and the plots we have going on. Chances are, I am actually excited, but I am terrible at expressing that. 

- I can stand to be more lenient towards activity levels. I always say that, if you want to make time for something, you can make time. If you find you can't make time, than you're probably not interested. Now, that's probably true for me, for I am both single and have no children. The only demands on my free time comes my cats. (Of course, there are times when I actually don't have free time because free time is for sleeping between shifts.)

- I could probably be more approachable towards people. I'm super happy to just write with people without any conversation, but I think that a lot of people are looking for a community and friendship. Whilst I'm in it for the writing, I'm not adverse to friends. There's no reason not to reach out to shyer people.

- In saying that, better managing my social battery would be a good thing. I get worn out by people (unless you don't count as people) but I can mitigate that by making sure I have proper alone time. Whether that be reading or just lounging around and listening to music. If I keep my social batteries recharged, I'm less likely to start wanting to ghost.

[Huskerdust 625]

A lot of what you said can apply to me, too. I feel like I could be more expressive about how much I am enjoying a thread or character. People love to know when you're enjoying their work! I know I do! And I feel like I could be more friendly. I think I come across as kind of a bitch because I'm naturally awkward and quiet around strangers. Online, it's not as crippling as in real life but it's still there and it's still a problem. I feel awkward with new people but I also want to make new RP friends! So I need to do that too. 

 

I think I could also stand to be more expressive about when I'm going to be scarce. I feel bad because there are days when I only write short threads and then there are days when I'm on for several hours at a time. My activity can be pretty erratic and I should communicate that with my partners! 

[Rune 1,099]

Phone post. Ignore typos. 

 

Create opens. Make sure they are actually open ended for someone else to respond to.

Participate in events and plots. Even if there isn't something in it for you. 

Create characters with other members. Roll siblings, spouses, bffs. Make the world seen complete.

Don't pester or poke at people for posts. Chances are they are well aware how behind they are. 

Be aware of the world. Is there a chance for you to answer a new members question? Do it! Or point them in the right direction.

Thread with new members. Make them feel welcome. Get them hooked. Show them a good time. Show them why you love your site. 

Understand that admin have jobs outside of rp and site management. If you want updates you have to be willing to be patient.

Accept that some things take time. Most of us try to get apps and stuff done the day it's finished but that isn't always the case. Reminding staff that they are there is more annoying than anything. We are well aware.

 

Honestly the best members are the ones that encourage the site. They get involved and encourage others to do the same. They get excited and spread that excitement to newcomers. They jump at the chance to be involved even if there is no reward for them. And they require very little hand holding because they make an effort to read the information provided 

[StormWolfe 557]

How can I be a better member?

 

Some of what everyone said above. I am impatient when waiting on replies to my joint posts although I'm getting better about that. I've also gotten worse about doing my own replies and need to improve there again.

 

As both an admin and player, I need to be better about reaching out to the person that just isn't engaging in anything. I was pretty good about that in the distant past, but recently have been more like "I've tried, now it's up to them". It wouldn't hurt for me to try that little bit more.

[Uaithne 543]

Lots of ways. Here are a few that come to mind:

 

- Have ideas for threads in advance so that when people ask if I want to rp, I'm not like "sure but I have no idea what or with which character."

 

- Make time for posting so that I can have consistency for myself and my partners.

 

- Ask for help.

 

- Read about other people's characters and plots, and ask questions of the members to show that I'm interested.

 

- Think about the little things when building characters. They often influences who the character is now.

 

- Join someone else's site to "practice" being a member.

[Bishop 172]

I could way be a better member by devoting more time to writing and less time to tinkering! 

[Gothic 307]

- Not get so easily distracted by things and get my apps finished quickly. 

- Be less grumpy. I've gotten less friendly over the years and I only noticed it recently. 

- Post more open threads or reach out to people for ideas. 

- Let people know about any issues long before they build up to something bigger. 

- Tell people they're appreciated more often and how much I enjoy rping with them. 

[Lucky Cat 83]

- I can be control my "Leo" tendencies a bit xD

- I can improve my patience & resilience and dampen down my pride, especially when it comes to my own apps being pended!

- I can try to be less shy and insecure at a new forum when I don't feel readily welcomed in the chat

- I should try to be calm when trying out a forum (sometimes I clam up like above, but other times I might act in the opposite way thanks to nerves)

- I should stick up for myself and deny plots/want-ads I don't want for my characters rather than feel pressured into doing accepting them

- I maybe... ought to... probably... try harder at apps... n'aaahhh At least sometimes

- I should try to tolerate some of my "forum prejudices"

 

[Scout 26]

A big one for me is honesty. I'm still working on this! 

 

As an admin, it really pushes my buttons when a member lies to me in a really obvious way. For example they asked me to open some locked topics (completed threads) before they went on vacation - then they wrote in every re-opened post they had made "i'm leaving bye" and left the site. This made me realize how important it is to just be honest. I would have been sad to see this member go, sure, but I wouldn't have been so irritated if she had just told the truth. 

 

For myself, I need to be more honest about plots I'm looking for. It's OKAY to say "no thanks" sometimes. I have such a hard time saying no to plots, and then I stare at the replies I owe to threads I have zero muse for. If I could just learn to say "I'm not sure that would work, can we think of some different ideas?" 

 

This goes in all ways - admins to members, members to staff, members to members, and staff to staff! 

 

 

[Prophetess 137]

I have a credo, "I can write with anyone. I don't have to be friends with them to write with them." I need to get better about getting back to that. 

 

I need to have a bit more patience. 

 

I need to be able to adhere to my boundaries and so "no" sometimes and not feel completely guilty about it.

 

Yes, I found my love for writing again (after a while away). I just have to remember why I love and not let anyone take it from me.