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Adapting to change


Gothic
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What do you do when you plan for things to happen and then either something comes up unexpectantly or expectantly? 

 

I've found random things tricky to deal with especially when it comes to dealing with my studies. Do you guys have any ideas or suggestions to make? 

 
 
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This is something I struggle with constantly, because having a chronic condition, can, itself, mess up all of your plans. Top that off with the unexpected needs of family members, husband's schedule, or any number of things messing up my well stacked bricks? Man, bummer!  You can help yourself by:

- Contingency plans can be things you have sort of pre-set aside. You need to study for something that's come up. Where do you fit in the time when you have so much in a week? Maybe you have an hour or two a day you keep open for just in case items. Perfect time to put that unexpected bit in. This can also go for appointments too. I am trying to adopt cushion space around preset things or leaving room for items because things can take more time than we think! Arriving, getting there, getting ready, etc.

- Cushion time in general. It's nice to leave yourself unplanned blocks of time just for those extra things!  If you have none? More time for self care, which leads me into.

- Self care. Self care. Always, always, always schedule in some self-care. It's so important to decompress from anything we have planned or from planning as well because we all have to recalibrate.

- Lists are magic. You can list out the steps to planned things if they need more break down because those steps can be easier to move around than entire block of the task they pertain to. I like to carry a listing pad in my purse for such occassions on the go, or set up my phone to be my catch all.

-- You can set up your lists/favorite system as a section in your planner no matter the style. It just feels nice to have it. Like a secret weapon!

-- Most of all? Just breathe and go with the flow. Life is good for throwing stuff at you! 

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Thank you for this, @Seahorse. It was quite helpful. :)

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You're welcome @Gothic, glad I could be of help! 

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Guest LOVE ME AND DESPAIR

When I originally started my BuJo before, one of the most helpful links I found on the official Bullet Journal site was this one. It's about how to create a better to do list. The key to it seems to be breaking it down into separate lists as you need. My favorite on this is the If/Then List. I have chronic pain/health issues. They usually(re: more than 90% of the time) mess with my plans no matter what scheduling I do. There are some moments where I can be down for multiple days or even a week. What this does is both help motivate and encourage self-care. Sometimes what I'd do when down is tell myself, I'll do my Top 3(or at least 2) then I'll stop and choose something from my 'If I feel sluggish'(mine had a different name, but. . .) list to do like take a nap, have a hot shower, etc. cause sometimes the self-care aspect is important. Plus it's important to realize that changes are going to occur and setting up for that possibility ahead of time is always nice. Whether it's just making sure your list is broken down more, or planning for if you're having a day of more or less energy.

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<3 Okay, so this is making me think of some things I can finally offer. I didn't really think I had any answer for this, but really loving the responses above which made me also think of some things.

 

 I enjoy changes. I usually love them or roll with them in some way if I don't love them. Like, if I want "trim" for my long ass hair, what I end up doing is getting those locks drastically cut off all the way at my chin. If I'm unhappy being around someone, I please myself by removing myself 100% out of their reach. Used to be I would move from place to place every few years, but now I paint all the rooms different colors every few years and change the decor in the house my hubby has lived in for almost two decades. I've resisted from changing too many things about our site. But those are all things I can control... so moving on.

 

Being completely surprised (usually by something not so great) is NOT my favorite thing ever. Being unable to read a person, a situation, or knowing a spoiler ahead of time, hate all those things. Not knowing what something will be like before I get to it, like surgeries or appointments, absolutely loathe that. And so, when something surprises me, I get stumped, abrasive, and lashy-out. Instead of doing these things, I will figure out what this thing is that's got me internally raging then talk it out with my super close peeps. Once I've detailed what it was that sent me spinning, my head is clearer and now I've got a thing I know I can journal for future reference.

"This happened, so I can deal with this with one of # ways." 

"This happened and then I reacted like this, this is why this reaction is bad. Friendships and family are important."

 

The more I do this, the more that I know I can handle the next unexpected thing that I may not like. Don't think in terms of averting the unexpected, think more in terms of

... so that unexpected thing happened and this is why/how it happened this way, so it may happen this way again for this reason, so I'll plan for it next time. OR

...so this unexpected thing happened, this was how I managed it which I thought wasn't bad at all (brag on yourself once in a while, babe), then think on ways to improve how you might manage a change like that next time. Rolling with a change is sometimes the best thing you can do, and sometimes also the funnest thing you can do.

 

Journal your thoughts on these things rather than planning for every single contingency. Look for ways to care for yourself and find quotes to write down that's relevant to life's changes, worries, sorrows, and joys. Admit things to yourself when you make lists, too. "Not looking forward to this" being one of my usual admissions I write next to something on a list that I dread. Sometimes, the thing you dread is the thing you can plan really well for and also to brace yourself for situations you're not sure about.

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all of these things. And then in the one month I have done in the BuJo, I used littlecoffeefox.com and she's really good about showing her GORGEOUS spreads. WITH MISTAKES. like, leave the mistakes, crossouts etc. Allow yourself to do that. I have epilepsy, severe depression and anxiety, and a migraine disorder, and they all interact. We're constantly adjusting medication. I just got a service dog, so while he helps (because furry medical device!) I also have to take care of him! So yes, adapting also means expecting that every page will not be perfect.

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Guest LOVE ME AND DESPAIR
On 3/13/2018 at 3:48 PM, musicdiva1331 said:

all of these things. And then in the one month I have done in the BuJo, I used littlecoffeefox.com and she's really good about showing her GORGEOUS spreads. WITH MISTAKES. like, leave the mistakes, crossouts etc. Allow yourself to do that. I have epilepsy, severe depression and anxiety, and a migraine disorder, and they all interact. We're constantly adjusting medication. I just got a service dog, so while he helps (because furry medical device!) I also have to take care of him! So yes, adapting also means expecting that every page will not be perfect.

 

Yes, I love this so much. In my "practice" BuJo I was always worrying over the ugly crossed out imperfections and thinking 'maybe I should use something that erases or invest in white out' to handle it. If you're not someone who is driven insane by something like that not being perfect though? I definitely agree with the above idea. I think showing those mistakes and imperfection is helpful in the long run. It shows to you and others that perfection isn't what this is about. . . wanting a pretty layout? That's totally okay, but that's not the goal here. And having those flaws there to be seen can help you better accept that it's going to continue happening.

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