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Drama within staff


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Hey guys. I need some advice.

 

Since we opened our site, it's grown quite large and, to account for the extra work, we've recently brought on some new staff from our existing member base. However, it's come to our attention that one of these new staff members isn't respected by some members of the community. We'll call this staff member Red. There was an incident with Red a few months ago when she was still quite new staff that was a huge misunderstanding (not Red's fault, per se, just a communication issue that rocked a lot boats). It ultimately led to another new staff member, Blue, stepping down because she disagreed with how we handled it. Emotions were running high at the time and a lot of feelings got hurt. Because of the fallout and the stress it caused the team, we gave Red a warning so that she could learn from it and we could move on. If it happened again or no improvements were made, she'd be demoted from staff. The crisis was averted and we've since grown a lot stronger as a team and know what to expect from each other now and what things aren't acceptable. It aired out a lot of issues that we were able to fix. For that, I'm grateful.

 

However, drama of the same nature has since popped back up, and though it's much smaller and more isolated than last time, it's still there. Red has made a lot of improvements, and her work on the staff team is valued! But some of her communications with fellow staff are...increasingly passive aggressive, which is causing stress among the team. And we know she can't work with certain members because they don't respect her authority due to things that happened in the past (both the past incident and things that supposedly happened before our site) that are out of our control. And, frankly, we don't know what to do about it. We value Red as a friend and a great writer, but it seems her presence in the team is causing anxiety. And I find myself making excuses for her because of that. We just don't quite know what to do, so I'm asking for some advice. 

 

How do you deal with drama within the staff? Have you ever asked someone on your staff team to step down? Would you do so in this case? And how do you do so while still communicating that they're a great member of the community, but maybe not the best for staff?

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It sounds to me like you already know what to do.

 

It's essentially the same thing as having a member that causes intense amounts of anxiety, displays consistent passive-aggressive or otherwise troubling behaviours. Sometimes, you just gotta tell 'em to go, maybe not even because they did anything wrong, maybe just because they don't mesh well. This is a legitimate thing that happens; people can be the brightest, cheeriest star in the sky, and still not get along with your team, your members, or even how you do things on your site. When it reaches the point where it is more stressful to you to keep this person on staff than to ask them to go, especially if the members clearly seem to disagree with them as a staffing choice (I am paranoid, I will admit, but maybe there's something behind that, beyond just "past sites," which you are not seeing, but nobody wants to play tattle), then you need to just put on your big britches and ask them to go.

 

Word it just like that. "We appreciate your time and effort, and value you as a friend, person, and writer, but we don't feel you're a good fit for the team."

 

I have asked several staff members to leave. I have been asked to leave staff teams. I understand that it is not an automatic measure of how good or not good someone is, in anything, nor an automatic finger-pointing, it's just that sometimes, someone doesn't fit in. Sometimes, someone doesn't work with what's established. And that's no one's fault, it just is. When you ask them to go, and breathe that first sigh of relief after a rough storm, you'll be glad you did it. And if they pitch a fit on the way out, well, there's your vindication.

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I agree with Sphinx here. As usual, expounding upon the mysteries of the universe.

 

I have been on so many sides of this. The member who was like "yo, dudes, this person is staff", the member who was part of the drama, the member who was like "but actually, the staff member is CAUSING the drama", the staff member who was like "uh, yo dudes, I am staff, please, just follow rules kthx" etc.

 

It all boils down to this to me. Is the staff person being reasonable and saying, do the thing as is outlined in the rules? If so, then it's totally not that person's fault. I could see also getting upset about members being punks in that situation. You are literally doing what you have been asked to do and people are being jerks. Why is that a problem? If the staff member is being overly jerkwad-ish, then that is a whole other thing IMO.

 

Either way, the person is staff, and disrespect for the sake of disrespect is not cool to me. If there is a problem, they should report it to you instead of just being rude. Now if they have and you have ignored it...that's a different issue all together, but it sounds like that has not been a thing

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I agree with Pinkie, I am new here to RPG initiative but I am not new to the Rpng world I own 2 sites and a third we just closed after begin open for 4 yrs. But I will add my two cents here, this is a very common problem because 1. We are all different and have different ways of dealing and saying things. 2. is true some adults don't act like it. The one reason we decided to close our site was because in yr 2 we had a major fupa with some mods and members which cost us 1 admin and about 5 members leaving and we were a 35+ member rp...Little by little members began to fall off the site and in year 4 about 6 months ago one admin gave us issues again because we did not agree in how to handle certain issues like her responsibilities were lacking and the main admin (Me and one moderator were doing everything. So we removed her from staff and well she decided to leave the site which cost us even more members to fall out....So my advise nip it in the butt now...One way I always moved admins and mods around when we started having issues was by saying we were rotating to give others a chance at the position. They won't question and everyone might stay happy, mind you I said might....

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I think this is salvageable, if you want it to be. 

 

First, step back and look at the communications/actions from Red that have your staff team uncomfortable. If you have examples you can refer back to, excellent. Use those to discuss with Red how her actions were received by others, and ask her about any issues she has among the staff team. Maybe there's something going on between her and someone else that you aren't aware of? That's happened to me before, where one staff member was acting out because they were legitimately being harassed by another and I had no idea.

 

Have a discussion with Red about how she feels she fits into the staff team, and how she feels you could all work together more cohesively. Heck, have that talk with all your staff! It's a good talk to have even when you don't have drama. You might unearth some other things that can be addressed.

 

Try and resolve the friction in your team first. Once you know where you're at with that (and that will pretty much tell you whether this is a staff member to keep or not), you'll be in a position to deal with the attitude members have toward her.

 

There's no requirement that a staff member should be respected purely because they're staff. But when a staff member is enforcing board rules, the member should have enough respect for the board that they either comply, or talk to another staff member if they feel that the initial staff member was out of line. I don't like when anyone throws attitude around like that regardless of the member it's directed at. Staff or not. And it's something that I will talk to my members about if I feel they're showing blatant public disrespect to another person.

 

So I think it is worth talking to those members, depending on how intense the disrespect is. 

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Yeah, I think a big portion we're missing is how these individuals are handling this publicly. Are they playing nice with one another where everyone can see? Is anyone undermining anyone else's authority? 

 

A lot of people won't bring up harassment or the like because they don't want to cause problems, unaware that by not saying anything they are allowing the problems to get worse. There could be something else we/you are unaware of. Which is why dragging them into somewhere private to discuss things - Everything from their jobs to expectations to behaving and playing nice - is important.

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6 hours ago, Crimson said:

I agree with Pinkie

Who is Pinkie?

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2 minutes ago, Morrigan said:

Who is Pinkie?

Heheh I went by your picture and I just realized afterwards lol I meant you

Places I Rp where you can find me

 

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Yeah I'm the Pinkie Pie of the site but I'm still Morrigan.

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Red is probably acting passive aggressive because she senses that other members of staff don't trust her/like her (and that might spill over to ordinary members too - as I don't know the situation first hand, I can't really judge how they treat her.)

 

It can be a lonely place if you feel like there is a mob against you. I've been in that situation where I've felt like that. You need to talk to all the staff and find out what the issues are. It could be that staff can't let go of issues from the past and that is their problem. And bear in mind that some of the nicest, most popular staff members on your team can in reality be the meanest - they are good at being popular and getting folks to like them and when they have an 'issue' with someone, whether it's small, or non-existent, or they just don't like someone, they are able to get support from other members and staff just on the basis that they are 'liked' more and people don't question their stance. It's lonely being that isolated person when you think that no one likes you because of a mistake you made while learning things and they shouldn't be constantly punished for it.

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Don't punish admin and staff for player or staff OPINION. These players (and the staff that refuses to work with Red) are the ones making everyone else on tip-toe with their behavior. They sound like your current problem is rooted in them, and Red's passive aggressiveness is a symptom of that problem.

 

As you said, Red is improving. Changing. Growing. You value them as a friend, a player and as staff. Why should they have to keep being punished for the one time they messed up? I suggest you work on your players and your other staff, while also asking Red the tough questions.

 

I vote you tell your other staff to buck up. Yeah - it can be stressful not knowing how people are going to handle things, but they shouldn't be holding onto this resentment and neither should the players that worked with them in the past. They shouldn't be holding onto grudges. Some people just don't get along. We have to accept that and move on.

 

You should ask Red why they are passive-aggressive. Maybe they don't feel supported? Maybe they know they are in disfavor and they are acting out. As Red how they would feel about stepping down. Don't tell them you're making them right away - just ask how they would feel about it, ask them what they would prefer when fixing these issues.

 

It is a hard place to be, feeling like you're stuck in the middle, but it sounds like everyone just needs to be open and honest and you need to find the root of the problem. If it is people making Red feel unwelcome, you know how to work on that. If it is red, well, in the end, you need to stick to what is best for the game and follow the rules. If you still decide that it is best to ask Red to step down don't lie and especially don't say it is what is best for the game. Be honest. Say that the anxiety within the staff circle was too much. Tell them that this isn't a quality of work issue it is a personal issue that despite your efforts couldn't be overcome. Apologize for the fact that you couldn't make it work. Show Red that you care about them, and make damn sure the staff treats Red with more respect as a player than they have as an admin, otherwise you'll lose a friend by threatening to take them down and then not supporting them when they need it.

 

Good luck!! <3 We've all been there. I've personally stepped down from sites for similar reasons. Sometimes your staff will take that path. My advice is just don't tell Red how others see them. It's not helpful and is only hurtful to find out people don't like you, don't trust you and don't respect you. There's nothing Red can do to change those types of opinions, and really it's just mean. Just tell them that people have a lot of hang-ups about previous issues that they can't get by. It's the truth and nowhere near as hurtful.

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