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Members, what does "welcoming" mean to you?


anthrxmilkshake
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We've all heard the phrase "Welcoming environment" if you haven't you've been searching for roleplay sites from under a rock on Mars with no wifi connection. For each of us this tends to summon up a completely different idea of what it means for the site to be welcoming. While the word "Welcoming" alone tends to conjure up the idea that we should 'belong' here, it generally never actually means what we wish it would mean.

 

So it's time to have your opinion on the usage of this word heard. When a site includes this in their descriptions or advertisements, what are you expecting to find when you join? Is it just a bunch of people who greet you? Does it go beyond the superficial? Do you expect more than just a few days of feeling included, only to quickly come to the realization these people know eachother...and they do not know you?

 

This thread is not for arguing, it's for opinions.

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If they know each other and they don't know you, they should try to know you too (as long as you are willing as well, because I know some people more mysterious than ancient deities!) and to integrate you into the story. To work with you, to communicate with you, to offer you plots. (If you don't take them, and you prefer not to communicate and not to do anything, then it's on you - general "you" here).

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What I personally want in a welcoming is just that. People saying hello, and a link to start. That is, it, that is all I feel like I should need. I am joining a roleplay site where people invent whole new worlds; new currency systems and new species. These people are intelligent, smart, creative and imaginative. When writing I hope I am the same. I loathe hand holding personally, I feel like people who need that tend to flounder and drown in a heavy rp style forums. Please don't mistake this for when a user asks for more description of a certain lore piece etc. This instead, is a user who asks right away; 'So what is this site about.'

 

They want you to tell them everything so they don’t have to read, so they don’t have to look at the beautiful lore people have worked so hard at. They just want to make a random character who is super strong, super cool; and kill people; or worse, only ERP. Many sites have started to hold their new user’s hands when welcoming them and this results in more work for the staff. They have to answer questions already there for others to read, they have to listen to whining as they reject profiles because the new member didn’t bother to even read the setting to know this isn’t a Kingdom Hearts rp!

 

To welcome someone is to hold out your hand and shake theirs, then give them the link to start everything. To learn the lore, the settings, the race, and magic. Everything they need to flourish and grow in the rp world. If they can’t even be bothered to read, why do you want them in a forum that is based on reading and writing?

Edited by Smiles
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@Smiles I can understand where you're coming from, but I don't feel "welcoming" is synonymous with "hand-holding". I absolutely agree that a roleplayer shouldn't need to be described every single thing. There's a reason we, as roleplay forum owners, have put so much information into our threads. We've described species, settings, plots, and more, and it shouldn't be hard to just read the information we spend so long compiling for you, our members. However, I also feel like @Elenahas a good point here, as well. Being welcoming shouldn't end at "Hey there!". I feel like it's important members feel welcomed further into the fold than just being noticed that they've arrived. Sure, you don't have to answer every single question with a detailed response, and I often point out "That information is in such and such guide" but offering plots, continuing to talk to them,  at least trying to get to know them, and not discluding them from the topics just because my character and that persons character have a storyline. 

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@anthrxmilkshake , Of course you keep speaking to them, however! A welcome is at the start, the very first thing they should see from the site. This should be something that shows what the site is about and what it has to offer. What comes after is getting to know a new member and can no longer be called a welcome. This person is now part of the site as they begin to read the lore and understand everything to make their first character. You welcome someone new, you learn about a member.

 

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@SmilesI think this is where you and I do not see eye to eye on the meaning behind this. A "welcome" might be what a potential new member sees, but a "Welcoming environment" is completely different in my opinion and includes extending well beyond just seeing what a site is about and acknowledging a new persons presence.

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for welcoming environment, I just want to be able to find everything I'd need to start at my own pace. The need to know information should be easy to find, and to read and the writing style should be clear and not make it seem like I (the reader) is being looked down upon for any reason. I check out the rules, and guides before I even join. If something seems off there, I won't go further, but If I like what I see, I may consider looking around more.

Next I look at the organization of the ic, and community areas of the site. I look to see if there are interesting things going on to be a part of, and think to see if my existing characters will mesh well with them. I look to see if the site feels restrictive in topics and themes. If the site culture shys away from politically incorrect themes, or feels hostile to my beliefs, I'm out.

Ooc Community isn't too important to me at first once I've made an account. Once I'm in I'm looking for open threads, and opportunities to make open threads. I want to be included in the places I join in to on an ic level, to get caught up in plots and relationships with other characters in the 'group' without much pre-plotting in a plotter or ooc chat. If all the threads are private, don't allow for unexpected turns , or are too tied to a plotline that I can't find a way in to, I know it's not the place for me.

And if I like what I see there on the ic level, I may slowly reach out to get to know the players behind the characters.

Edited by Kazetatsu
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As a member, I'm mostly a mix of @Smiles and @Kazetatsu

Aside from "Hey how are you doing, if you have any questions we'd be more than happy to help", I want to be left ALONE as I get my feet wet and explore what the site has to offer. I need to connect with the IC before the OOC, and will judge the C-box in a manner of Is my commentary ignored? No? Okay, I might not be part of the current convo but I'm definitely recognized as existing so far, lets see how this goes. Being immediately bombarded with friendly attention is just WAY too extrovert for me.

 

To me, ultimately, being welcoming beyond initial contact isn't about "Hey new person lets plot together, I'll jump in your first thread it'll be awesome!", but "Hey, looking over your character I really think he would get along swell with So-and-so. I'd like to thread with you and see if my Char can hire yours to do xyz".   

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I'm so far outside of that, for myself, personally. If I don't click with the OOC collective, I'm not likely to rp there. For me half of my roleplay experience is the community built around it. If I'm not a part of it, I get bored. I'm an introvert away from the computer, but tend to be an extrovert on the computer, preferring groups and conversation about characters, worlds, or just in general. 

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I want people to be interested in me. This means that they want to talk WITH me in the cbox (not just greet me and say superficial, polite things), and/or go out of their way to post in my shipper or threads. Most importantly, I want it to be continued, not just "I had one conversation with the new person and posted once in new person's thread. . . . I've done my civic duty so back to the plots and people I REALLY care about."

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I think being welcoming is like when you invite someone to your party who doesn't know your friends yet. You actively engage with them in conversations, you find points in common between them and your friends, you show them where the food is and let them know they can help themselves to beer from the fridge. Of course that's gonna be more hard work than an old friend who knows everyone and where everything is, and maybe will even help you clean up in the end, but you may end up with a great new friend, and that's worth it!

 

So being welcoming is just acknowledging that adapting to a completely new place with a completely new group of people is a big task in itself. I do believe it involves a little bit of hand-holding, the this is John, he also totally loves pine trees , or we were thinking about getting pizzas, what do you like on yours  kind of hand-holding that of course you don't have to do with your older members, who are currently on the couch passionately arguing about which is better, pepperoni or bacon pizza. 

 

That's pretty much it. Realizing it's hard work to get involved in a new community, and be actively excited people are there and may become a pretty cool part of your site. Don't let their plotter sit empty even if you don't usually really use plotters, don't let their open threads sit empty even if you don't usually do open threads, engage with them in chat, ask questions. I know I see admins often complaining about having to post with every new member on your site, but when I think about it I really don't think that's much more than common courtesy. You've invited them to your party, if you're cooking right now and can't be around them, then direct them to old member John whose character also totally loves pine trees, or at least check in on them from time to time to see if maybe they want in on that pepperoni pizza plot you're cooking with some of the other guys.

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I think I would prefer to see sites state they are friendly and encouraging rather than welcoming. I also think creating this type of environment is a two-way street and should not land solely in the hands of the game admins.

 

Our group is small. When someone new arrives in our Discord, we all greet them, please ask if they need help and offer to include them in the current conversations going on. We have a forum for plot requests, but 99.9% of our plotting and planning happens in Discord. We encourage everyone to become involved in the main story and to plot with each other on character stories and interactions.

 

If the incumbent RPG group has made a sincere effort to be welcoming, friendly, and encouraging to the new person(s) and there is not a reciprocal effort, people will stop trying. 

 

To receive, one must give! To give, one must first receive.

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Someone somewhere went to sleep and dreamed us all alive.
Dreams get pushed around a lot, and I doubt if we'll survive.
We won't get to wake up, dreams were born to disappear.
And I'm pretty sure that none of us are here.
~ None of Us Here by Jim Stafford ~

 

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Guest Archaic Cyborg

To me it means more than a sibgular 'hey there!' from the staff. I don't want or need welcoming from the entire mob, but something a little more personal and related to my character is always encouraging to read! As an ex staff member, I can understand how draining it is to greet new players over and over, but making an effort helps the community.

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