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Unfair treatment?


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Very recently I joined a board that has been existing for a about a year. There are two staffmembers on that board.

I created my first character and was eager to create a second character as well. I was interested in creating a faction leader. This was a canon position. Such positions couldn't be reserved, it was just stated „please contact a staff member if you are interested“.

I told Admin A that I'd love to have this canon position for my second character. But Admin A tried to talk me out of creating that character already now. I should rather see first if I feel comfortable on this board before taking on such an important position. I didn't feel very comfortable about waiting though, and so I stated that towards Admin B a few days later, and that I was worried that the faceclaim and position might be taken in the meantime.

Admin B told me that a former member had returned and had expressed interest in the same canon position towards Admin B at the same time. A few hours later there was already an app posted by member X for a character in that position.

It turned out though that member X had re-joined the board three days after I had expressed my interest in that canon position. Just that Admin A hadn't told Admin B about my interest. When both Admins finally knew that it was me who had asked first they didn't deem it necessary to change anything. Member X could continue with the app, and I was supposed to put up with not getting the canon position. 

Maybe they favoured member X (that's at least what it felt like to me), or maybe they didn't want to say to player X: „Member Y asked first, so you can't have that position after all.“

I don't even know if member X was aware of all that mess. In my opinion it would have been the fairest if my character got the position, but it seemed as if this wasn't even considered, and that was what really got to me. Instead Admin B tried to convince me that it's much better for me if my character is not a canon, and that my character can be the leader of a non-canon group instead. Just that this didn't feel fair, not to me. And how can I rely on it that the next time I would be treated in a fair manner if it ever comes to a tricky situation again?

 

I made only one post with my first character so far. I posted an app for my second character who is now approved as leader of a non-canon group. I have lost my enthusiasm for that board though and have made no posts for the second character yet nor did I post a wanted ad for other groupmembers. I haven't even been active on the site Discord for days.

Player X of all people has posted in my second character's plotter. I didn't even read that yet. I don't know if member X knows they snatched this position away from me and how they feel about this. Even if member X knows nothing –  I dislike their character simply because that character got the position that I wanted, maybe that's „not right“, but I just can't help feeling like this.

So after the first week on that board was so stressful and full of disappointment and frustration I just can't enjoy being there. Is that understandable, or am I just making a big fuss over nothing?

 

It would be great to get to know your opinion about this, from the perspective of a member and/or staffmember.

 

As a member – could you easily forget and forgive if something like that had happened to you? Would you feel treated unfairly and prefer to leave?

 

As an admin – to which member would you likely have granted the canon position – to the returned member X or to the new member Y who had asked first, even if that means you have to tell to member X they can't have that position after all and need to edit their app?

Anonymous poster hash: 1f853...417

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Running a plot-centric site too, I also think that a leadership position has to be gained by showing activity with a first character who isn't so necessary for the plot. Or having your character in a position of lieutenant and advance during the story. No newcomer would just take a leadership position. 

 

The administrators have been fair, especially that you didn't want to wait.

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I do think that the administration should be clearer and have better communication skills between each other.  It's unfortunate that you got into that situation, but it doesn't sound like they were doing it maliciously.  I, myself, have been in situations as an admin where there isn't a "right" answer, and things unfold in manners that aren't always deemed as being fair.  Sometimes you just have to roll with it.

 

Things they could improve may being having a set time that newbies have to wait before picking up certain canons, and having a thread in the staff area where they could communicate with each other over which member requested which characters when.

 

But I completely understand why they didn't want to give a rank to a newbie.  Newbies come and go so quickly that it's really hard accommodating everyone who walks through the door.  I've tried it many times on various sites over the years, and sometimes it ends up with an even bigger problem, because now the newbie vanished mid-thread, or maybe I assume things and end up stepping on older members' toes.

 

In the future, I suggest the following options:

 

1. Ask the staff member with whom you originally talked to if you can reserve the character for a couple of weeks so that you can get yourself established and make sure that you like the place well enough.

 

2. Keep posting.  You only posted once with your first character even before Member X took the canon you wanted, if I read that right.  If you want to show that you're capable of taking on the canon, jumping in and engaging with the community is the most appropriate and mature thing to do.  (If I misread the timing situation, my apologies.  Still, making more than one post on your character is the best option.)

 

3. Don't go to a different staff member to discuss an issue you originally discussed with the first staff member.  This can be seen as manipulating the system, bypassing the first admin, or trying to be shifty in general, even if that's not what you mean at all.  (Fun fact: I once got banned from a site for this.  No warnings - just boom, 2-week ban.)  Of course there are situations in which talking with the different staff member is appropriate, such as if the first staff member is on leave, but that's usually in the minority.

 

I appreciate, however, that you made this topic because sometimes we as staff think of newbies as just faces in the crowd and we forget that there are complex thoughts and stuff going on behind the scenes.  Unfortunately as staff we cannot become emotionally invested in every single newbie that walks in the door, but it's still good to keep in mind that bettering our communication skills is important to be able to work with different folk.

 

I hope everything gets resolves and that you continue to play happily on that site and find your place in the community if that is the route you wish to take.

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I disagree with the majority rule on this thread. 

 

You were absolutely treated unfairly in this situation. 

 

Now, I understand when sites implement time rules for canon/rank positions. I usually don't allow anyone to apply for a ranked position on sites I run until they've been active on my site for 2 weeks to 1 month depending on the site pacing - but this is always clearly stated in the rules. Its something that new members know right off the bat. This obviously is not what happened in your case. 

 

Admin A, whether they took issue with you personally or your character, decided they didn't want you to have that canon slot. They went out of their way to convince you not to try for the spot. 

 

16 hours ago, Anonymous said:

Admin B told me that a former member had returned and had expressed interest in the same canon position towards Admin B at the same time. A few hours later there was already an app posted by member X for a character in that position.

 

I can almost guarantee you that this was done on purpose, just based on the timing. They had an old member, probably a friend, that came back and they told them to rush it through to get the slot so they could turn around to you and pull some 'oop sorry' BS  - which, personally, I find even more upsetting in the whole saga because it says that they've chosen to give the position to a member that has already ditched the board once rather than giving you a chance. 

 

Overall I agree with @Morrigan here. The staff team jerked you around, and wasn't straight forward with you. I don't think that site is going to have a healthy atmosphere to hang around on long term.  

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I'm going to backtrack a little. I had overlooked/minimalized the part where you mentioned explicitly that the rule stated on the site is "first come first serve" for slots.  Morr (Err, MAYBE Morr?) and...somebody I can't see because we're all name-changed at the moment, focused a little on that, and, I have to rescind part of my previous post. As much as I still believe that member x was probably plotting with Admin A offsite around the same time or slightly prior to your asking about the position, they're right in a way because the staff (moreso Admin A since Admin B wasn't even notified of your interest as you stated) broke their own rules in giving the canon to a returning member (that Admin A apparently trusts) over a Newbie. Strategically, it's still the "right" call, but if that's the case Admin A really should have been more honest about the situation. 

 

I still recommend at least giving the plotter a chance, and seeing if the admins will consider a merit-based (read as: plot developed) canonization of your OOC faction or be first in line for the next canon slot you apply for. That is, if you really like the site lore/setup that much to give the administration a second chance after a gross miscommunication. 

Edited by CovertSphinx
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Being jilted is a fair emotion, it's actually even an often occurrence even though most people don't realize it or reject that its the emotion they are feeling. I mean what person would actually want to stay with someone that promised them the moon and then said "well the moon isn't attainable... have this moon model instead".... No one.

 

If you're promised the moon, you expect the moon.

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After reading the first replies I began to regret even to have started this thread.

So I was too much in a hurry? That I didn't post much confirms that I'm not reliable? I don't want to get involved in plots if I'm leaving anyway, and I was considering to leave.

But it's good to know that not everybody thinks the fault lays with me.

 

Apologies if I'm misunderstanding, but what I'm getting from this is Admin A asked you to wait, but you didn't want to wait so you took your concerns to Admin B? Was there a specific reason for that? As it is, it sounds like a situation of staff jumping. That's a red flag behavior, and I think an admin would be fair in denying a rank to any player for that reason alone.

 

I felt generally uncomfortable dealing with Admin A, not only because of being told to wait. So if it is red flag behaviour if I turn to Admin B, in the hope to get along better with that admin, then I should probably rather stick to 1x1 roleplay, that saves me a lot of hassle.

 

Being jilted, that describes it very well. That's exactly what it felt like for me.

And that I'm second-rate, not good enough. I was willing to put a lot of effort into playing a such a canon character in an important position, but as nobody knows me I need to prove it first? But someone who has vanished before is more reliable than a newbie?

If admins don't want to entrust newbies with important positions then it would make sense that there is some explicit rule for that, f.e. „you need to have x posts or need to be here for at least three weeks before taking an important canon“.

 

  1. There is no regulated time/post count etc between character 1 and character 2 etc? If so then character 2 doesn't need to "wait a little bit".

  2. If you join the site the first character you pick up can be a canon so why is there a wait period if you decide that it's your second character instead of your first? It doesn't make sense especially if number 1 is correct also.

  3. If Member X was interested in picking up the canon a dialogue should have been started between the staff and the involved interested parties, especially since (as you stated) there is nothing that states that a canon character can be reserved.

 

Those are true facts indeed.

It was stated in the rules the first two characters are free, but before creating a third character you need to make X posts with your first two characters first. So it was allowed to create two characters immediately, and there was no mention that your first characters can't have a canon leadership position.

 

Why did I even want a canon position? Normally I'm not even that keen on playing canons. It was stated explicitly in the rules: It's possible to create non-canon groups, but it is prefered and encouraged that players create characters who are members of canon groups. So Canon characters/groups were excplicitly wanted.

So I created my first character as a low-ranked member of a canon group.

And I saw that there were still two canon groups with no members whatsoever, so I thought I'm doing the site a favour by creating a leader of one of those groups.

Then to get discouraged to create such a character already now just felt off.

 

Admin B wouldn't even have minded my group to become a canon group, but Admin A was against that (as it would be „exessive“ to have three canon groups of the same species). So this group can never become Canon.

And as players are encouraged to create Canon group members it's uncertain if my group would gain any members at all.

 

The way that it all was handled was not very transparent, at least not to me, and that in itself felt very uncomfortable, and that's what made me lose trust in those admins.

The only reason why I was considering to stay was that there were some players whom I liked and whom I would have liked to plot and play with. But if that means I have to swallow the frustration and pretend nothing bad ever happened, I just doubt it's worth it.

Anonymous poster hash: 1f853...417

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Here's the thing about swapping admins, people occasionally will go from one staff member to another with their same whatever-it-is, hoping that one of them disagrees with the other, and the person in question gets their way. Yes, this is red flag behaviour, especially when an observer doesn't know the reasons behind the switching between them, because this is an early warning sign of a player that'll try splitting the staff team and pitting them against each other. It's akin to the child that went to dad and dad said no so the child asks mom before they have a chance to corroborate.

 

Unfortunately, as role-players, we often have to deal with others side-eying us for perfectly reasonable behaviour that looks like it might be red-flag behaviour on the outside, because some people in the community just aren't nice people. When a staff member gets in a situation where they're facing one of those, it can leave a very lasting, bad taste, and make them squint too hard at occasionally very normal, understandable things. I still squint at people that act similarly to some of my first players, ngl. So, I'm gonna be honest, you may have had good, understandable reasons, but on the outside looking in, it doesn't always look that way.

 

Similarly, you don't know what the other player's deal is. They may have had to leave for real-life reasons and commitments, and now have time again. I don't know, either, so I can't tell you whether I actually would have chosen the returner over the newbie here, because some of my returning players on my long=runner would be chosen for a leadership position over a newcomer, but others wouldn't.

 

The main problem here, I feel like, is communication, because for one thing, these two admins sound like they need to communicate with each other better, and then need to communicate with players better. It's entirely possible this board's staff team is just a giant wreck waiting to happen, and either the site will tank at some point, or one admin will split off from the other, and either become an urban legend, or make their own site. So to be honest, you probably ought to think about this site from that sort of purview. Watch the admin(s), and see if they do any other alarming, could've been avoided with decent communication, stuff. Bc while the one thing isn't inherently terrible by itself, the communication levels here are indicative of the staff eventually dividing on their own.

 

Either way, if you stay and don't intend to "pretend nothing bad ever happened," what else do you propose you do? Because if you stay and kick up a fuss, you'll probably get kicked off eventually, so really, it's either you stay or you go. I can't tell you which one's worth it, only you can decide that for yourself, but considering the communication issues, this staff team seems like it's going to breed drama sooner or later, just ignoring this purported unfairness (I still don't believe it was unfair, and I still feel they were right telling you to slow down, because I would've said the same, albeit I'd have handled everything else differently).

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