Jump to content

Directories & Lack of Anonymity


Quell
 Share

Recommended Posts

So this has always baffled/interested me about directories. Everyone seems to treat them like a safe space... but it's so easy to tell who/what site you're talking about if people know who you are and what sites you're on, even if everything specific is removed.

 

I feel like an incredible amount of the time players and admins are effected by posts that have been made on directories that are meant to be anonymous/not important. I guess my question is... is this right? And also, if you realize there has been a misunderstanding, is it appropriate to talk to someone based on a directory post that they have made?

  • Like 1
tumblr_ovxhy4cZLY1wtsmmno3_r1_100.jpg
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Trust me, there are times in which I would love to come here and say things because I really feel comfortable around here, but I have to rein myself in and remind myself that I have to remain professional.

 

To me, it's kind of in the same vein as when you are going about life at the grocery store, library, school, etc., and you see a client who recognizes you from work.  If you're wearing your site banner in your sig, it would be the same as wearing a polo shirt with your work's logo embroidered on it.  You end up being a representative of your work (RP site) when you're out in public (resource forums) doing things that aren't directly related to your job.  Even though you may have time off, if someone recognizes you, they're going to judge your company and professionalism based upon your behavior outside of work.

 

I can also say that in the past there have been times when I have vowed never to join someone's site because I was taken aback by their behavior on resource sites.  I'm okay with differences in opinions, but when someone behaves immaturely or disrespectfully, it's a clear sign that I don't want to get to know them in a position of power on their own turf.

  • Like 1
  • Agree 2
  • Fuck Yeah! 1

WoL___dark01.png

Link to comment
Share on other sites

(I didn't notice the anonymous option  here. That is very handy.)

 

I think in some cases, even if one was posting as anonymous, one could tell if the story was specific enough (to add onto the first poster's message). I personally try to be vague, because I have been on so many sites and dealt with so many people (unless some were the same people just using different alias, which is possible) that sometimes I'm not really talking about a particular person or a particular site, just things I've come across in my ten years of RPing or staffing that has ruffled me wrong. But then there are those stories or those little key details(intentional or not) where a reader can go "oh snap, this person is talking about me."

 

Just yesterday I realised I needed to watch what I say here or anywhere else because - as... the... raven person above me xD - mentioned: we represent our sites, and anyone can see our posts and see our thoughts, et cetera, and think we're talking about them even if we're not.

 

Because of that, and because there is potentially a misunderstanding, I think it should be all right to try and speak to the person who may have had a misunderstanding. It should be done in a non-aggressive manner to keep things civil, but I also... think it depends on the individual and potentially the topic at hand.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Admin
21 hours ago, Lucky Cat said:

I think in some cases, even if one was posting as anonymous, one could tell if the story was specific enough

 

This is a big reason we don't want stories to be specific. We are a small community (relatively) and so specifics can feel directed. I know I've accused @Rune @Death Kitten @Dragon and a few others of blaming me for shit (mostly out of jest) in a few RPG Confessions threads because, while not directed or specifically about me? They seemed like situations/things I've done.

 

We as roleplayers take too much to heart, we feel that everything is an attack or an affront to us which I'd say, 90% of the time it's not. We are so hung up on words we forget there is an emotional, upset or hurt person on the other side of the screen, no matter if its you or the other person. Most situations, if presented properly, can be about any roleplayer.

 

I know this. I've been roleplaying for 23 years. I've done every bad thing and experienced just about every bad thing.

  • Love 1

0_mainsignature.jpg

image.png

Profile set made by myself and original Artwork by Fae Merriman, my daughter.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Everything I complain about is @Morrigan. Even the ones that don't make sense.

 

In most cases I can tell who someone is if they're complaining about me/mine. Mostly because people are bad at hiding who they are. And because they make the situation so specific. 

 

That said, if I'm ranting and someone thinks it's about them I'd totally be down with them approaching me to clear up the situation or whatever. 

 

At least anonymously we can pretend no one knows and vent our little hearts out.

  • Agree 3
  • LOL 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Archaic Cyborg

I've noticed that over the years, and now that I've had an rp break, I prefer tp stay away from open;y participating in directories. Some members use them to troll sites, which is 90% of the traffic I received from another directory. Some times it's better to be a lurker and in turn avoid some of the misguided 'hate'. Directories aren't all like that, but yes, itd be nice if rpers could not take things too seriously. A vent isn't necessarily the end of everything for a site- people need to let off steam.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

I have gotten banned from a site for posts I did make on a resource forum. Yes, it does happen. The staff were just trying to find any reason to ban me, and they finally did just for talking about their site(as vague as I can be) in a somewhat negative way. Same with the members(again vague and no names).

 

I was amazed that the staff didn't try to be as petty as I was by getting me banned  from the resource site or other sites in general I joined thereafter. I admit what I did was a dumbass thing to do, and I have learned to stop talking about sites I have had a bad time on. 

 

I lost a few "friends" from that site due to this, sadly. I say "friends" because they blocked me on Discord after I got banned from the site.

 

Live and let live I guess!

Anonymous poster hash: 214af...c66

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was kind of stupid and a little bit of a weiner and I said something about cliques a long, long time ago (we're talking 10 years or so) and the admin of the site I was on called me out on it (privately, because they were a better person than me.) I still think of that with stinging embarrassment and regret. 

 

I like the function we have here though. It's nice, although I have yet to use it myself. It's nice to know it's there. :D

  • Like 2
  • Love 1

Reality is an illusion. 


 
 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Zozma said:

I was kind of stupid and a little bit of a weiner and I said something about cliques a long, long time ago (we're talking 10 years or so) and the admin of the site I was on called me out on it (privately, because they were a better person than me.) I still think of that with stinging embarrassment and regret. 

 

I like the function we have here though. It's nice, although I have yet to use it myself. It's nice to know it's there. :D

 

I will straight out admit I am vocal about speaking against cliques and hate them myself. I have seen a fair share over the years, and it gets on my nerves being excluded because I am not cool enough/liked enough. (talking probably 5 or 10 years ago when I bitched a lot more about them than today).

 

I too feel regret and embarrassment posting dumb shit on resource sites like RPG-D even if it was vague as hell. 

Anonymous poster hash: 214af...c66

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 3 weeks later...

I love the anon. feature on this forum for this reason! 

 

I've also learned to let that stuff slide. I know somebody who constantly stalks threads on one specific resource site and always says "i think this is about ____" "this one is 100% about me i can't believe it" and gets herself so worked up about it. If I see something that I think may be about me or my site (it's happened a few times) I just scroll past it. If somebody had a big enough issue with me, they'd come to me, and until then there's no reason for me to worry about it. 

  • Agree 1
  • Preach it! 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Guidelines and Privacy Policy. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.