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Please help!


Anonymous
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I’m going anon here because I’m in need of some help! 

 

Ive been running a moderately busy site for around three months. I’m so excited with activity levels and quality of members. 

 

There’s four staff, only that many because myself and two friends did all the work setting it up, and another friend helped me write the plots. This is where the issues start. 

 

First, the moderator- let’s call her Amy-  who helped me with plots does not do anything. Not claims like I asked, not event planning, and she doesn’t even post more than the bare minimum with major canon characters she’s created. 

 

A new person, let’s call her Tina, joined. Tina was active and brought a ton of friends. I was so excited! That’s how sites get popular and stay active, when groups of people come together!

 

Somehow, while I was at work, Amy added Tina to the staff chat. For the sole purpose of talking shit about another member. I asked how this happened, nobody answered me. The next day, Tina was given admin powers. Everybody claims I was okay with this, and when I asked who made her an admin, nobody will answer me. Accessing admin logs, I know Amy did this. 

 

I decided that since everyone likes Tina, I’d roll with it. She’s super active and has some good ideas for plots. However, she’s still done nothing aside from plotting. I now have Amy, who does nothing, and Tina, who only plots and does nothing else. 

 

Recently, Tina has started trying to push members out of the site to give popular characters to her friends. I’ve firmly told her to stop, she asks me once a week. Tina and Amy have done nothing but talk plots in the main chat, ignoring all guest questions, and never ever post. They’re about to lose characters in an activity check. 

 

Tina has now started messaging my other two admins, who built the site with me, saying she’s worried I hate her. Every conversation we have, Tina snaps at me. She claims RP is a hobby, and that me writing long posts is a waste of time and holding plots back. She’s called me stupid in the chat for reading books after I said reading is what makes me a writer. 

 

I was willing to work with the situation rather than cause an issue. Now it feels as if she’s pushing me off of my own site, since my other two admins are telling me to “please talk to her” when I ask their advice on how to handle this as a team. 

 

I’m done. I won’t be pushed off a site I have put four months of work into. I created custom everything for this site, it’s definitely my baby. I’m tired of hearing “I’m not trying to be a jerk I’m just saying” from Tina every time I make a call as admin. I want to handle this calmly and rationally, as an adult, and cause the least amount of issues on the site. 

 

I do not want this to cause the site to die. I need advice and suggestions! I know I should have done things differently, but this is where I’m at now. Any advice is so appreciated. 

Anonymous poster hash: 1b190...de8

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You have all been very helpful. I’ve decided to try talking to my original staff team minus Amy once more. We’ve been friends for years and I don’t want any bad blood over this. I’m going to explain my frustrations, as the root admin who not only pays for the site but does all upkeep, and give them an opportunity for input. If they continue to refer me to Tina, I’ll tell them I’m making the call. 

 

This input is super helpful, since people here seem to have encountered people like this before! And as always, the anon feature here saved me!! 

Anonymous poster hash: 1b190...de8

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Demote both Amy and Tina. They don't sound like they are good staff for the site, though they do plot which is what you need. You might get some backlash from them, though. Having members who make problems is bad enough, but staff? No way and Amy should have run it by you and your other staff first before giving Tina any staff powers at all.

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So, off the top, I probably would have demoted Amy pretty early once she made it clear she wouldn't do anything, even if I asked.

 

Following that, if a staff member adds someone into the staff chat on the basis of bad-mouthing another member, that tells you two things. One, that staff member has no respect for how you want to run things, because they didn't even ask. Two, they think this is what staffing is; being part of an exclusive club who get to talk crap about other people. Adding Tina in was a fundamentally wrong move because it was built on a toxic mindset. Tina should have been returned to member status, and told that it's not her fault, it was the staff member misbehaving. Amy should have been demoted without warning.

 

Again, if your own staff members can't respect how the site is run, they shouldn't be staff. If Amy continues to do nothing and Tina continues to prioritize herself, they don't need to be there.

 

The way Tina speaks with you isn't okay, but chances are she does because she can feel the tension off you, especially since her first impression of you right after she became staff was "Who's responsible for this? Why didn't you speak to me about it?" Idk enough about Tina to know for sure how she would respond, but I think it's worth opening a dialogue with her. Let her know you know she's worried about you, explain that you don't dislike her,  and explain why things are a little weird. Don't get too finger-pointy. If she otherwise seems like a good person, then she'll understand why someone being promoted without a conversation and who isn't expected to do anything as staff would be a little weird.

 

And look, it really comes down to this. Tina doesn't belong on staff under these circumstances, and Amy needed to go a long time ago. When she showed zero respect for what you, one of the main admins, wanted done, she also demonstrated that she knew she could get away with it because you let her. And here you are. You don't owe Amy anything after that. If she's gonna kick up a fuss, just ban her.  I doubt explaining to her that she was entirely disrespectful will do anything because she used your weakness to her advantage, and those people don't apologize.

 

One last thing. Take this experience, point out all the things that bothered you, and apply that to how you want staff to be. Do you expect them all to do their jobs? Do you expect staff to open a dialogue with each other if changes might happen? What are your absolute lines? How are staff expected to act towards members? Take all that and apply it to your current staff, and any future staff. Communicate with them about how you need to act in order to make a good staff team and make the site the best it can be. If you had enforced these ideals from the beginning, this probably wouldn't have happened.

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