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When a site moves on without you


Sage
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It's always a sad day when you reach a point that you have to part with your site. There can be lots of reasons for it - you have creative differences, you're burnt out, major drama went down. etc. Whatever happened, you've decided to leave and let the home you've helped build from the ground up go on without you. You didn't shut down the site, you just walked away and left it in the hands of someone else.

 

This is something I'm going through right now, and while I'm sad about it, I do wish everyone from the forum the best and hope their continued efforts are successful. So I'm wondering, how do you cope with letting go? After building a site from the ground up, putting countless hours of effort into a site, how do you move on without holding on to negative feelings? Do you have any tips? Any suggestions on how to keep your spirits up? Any clues to keep from being disheartened on future endeavors? 

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a dark, urban fantasy;

inspired by sailor moon

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It was your choice to walk away, so why would you be sad about it? You have your way open for new creative endeavours, in new fields! When a door closes, a window opens...

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when part of a site for possibly years, there's a lot of emotional weight that comes from the old plots, stories, and friendships there.  I haven't owned a site that I've left yet, but I have chosen to leave places where I put a lot of investment. 

 

What I did was make sure to close up all ic and ooc loose ends first off. I wrote my characters out of their stories, and made sure to hand off what I was working on in terms of plots/groups/or locations to players who I felt might be able to continue on. I wrote a formal goodbye and left some ability for the members to contact me, and updated that with a link to my new rp home once that was in order, and have kept up with the people who I came to know well.

 

I was still hurt a bit by the site I chose to leave, and for that it takes some time. I don't hold on to grudges towards anything that didn't contribute to my reasons for leaving, but Initially I did burn several bridges. I made it very hard for me to stray back to the site I left, deleting links and shortcuts, and being careful with how I spoke to my old friends from there, For those of us who shared are reasons enough to talk to, we did talk, about the good times as well as the hurts, and sometimes found ways to get better story closure than we'd had before. I still didn't rp much for a time though, to allow for a muse reset, and figure out what I wanted to do. After some distance I was able to forgive or get back in touch with some players I hadn't wanted to talk to, and start building something new.

 

I guess it's not really about stopping all the sadness right away, but about riding through it, along side players who can relate, and who you can mesh well with.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have just made my site a little over a year ago, and I can't imagine how hard that must be. For me personally, I would find it extremely difficult to put all that work into something I loved, only to have to part ways with it and have someone else take over. I think it will hurt, because you did so much for that forum, but as long as you left it with someone you trusted, I think remembering the good times is the best thing you can do. I wouldn't know though, so I'm sorry if I am not much help!

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A couple times. It's very similar to breaking up.

 

It's time to part ways with this person/thing that you have spent so much time of your life with. They're not a bad person just because it's time to move on, it's just that they're not for you anymore. And that's okay. You love the times you had together, you grieve the relationship - as in, the official stages of grieving - and slowly it becomes a nice memory.

Give it time and distance. But understand that everyone has different needs and different methods of healing, so if your current method of healing isn't working, switch to something different. There are some people who can only heal by having no contact at all for a long time, and that's okay too.

 

Give yourself a little extra love, and immerse yourself in your new "singles" life. : )

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A relaxed, dark and gritty roleplay based on Disney's Zootopia. 

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Hold on to the reasons why you chose to leave.  Don't mourn for the things of the past because they are now but happy memories; you cannot relive them, and you cannot rebuild them, so wasting time wondering what could have been would be of little use to you.  Think of the good qualities of the site and try to find something in your life that can help you reach those, knowing that nothing will ever be exactly the same.

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