Membership When is it simple paranoia?

[StormWolfe 557]

Hello All,

 

I wasn't sure whether to post his here or in RPG Confessions - please move it if it is not appropriate for this forum.

 

I honestly need some advice on the often vague dividing line between having true concerns and just being paranoid. As an RPer and RP manager of many years - I have seen lots of issues arise. Some of them were repeated often enough that they became red flags for me when new people applied to my roleplays. I confess to now being a somewhat paranoid GM - mainly because I loathe confrontation, hate the thought of hurting feelings, etc. Especially since RP is supposed to be interactive and fun!

 

Here's my issue....

 

A person has  joined one of my sites (I have a few), wrote a decent character bio, and then proceeded to ask upward of twenty times how soon the story was starting. They received the same answer all twenty times. When the story launched, they leaped in with enthusiasm - which was majorly awesome! They are a better than fair writer and seems to be really nice.

 

The issue appeared when they repeatedly did a thing that was very unnecessary in forum roleplay. A friendly reminder was sent out to the group at large that this was not necessary. The person asked if they were at fault and I diplomatically told them that yes, they were doing the thing, don't do it. The very next day, I sign on and that person has done the thing again - 3 more times. I have since sent them a private message on Discord asking that they cease and desist doing this thing.

 

This is a very simple thing, not a complicated issue. You do it or you don't do it. Not doing it is the way forum play is designed.

 

Am I being paranoid in that I feel like this person purposely did the thing to push back?

[StormWolfe 557]

@SithLordOfSnark  You always make me feel better!

 

I just know I have developed a huge amount of paranoia and wariness from major past issues that actually drove me out of RPing for a number of years. I do not want to be a pushover - everyone, even me, needs to follow all the rules and game etiquette - but I also do not want to jump the gun and over react.

 

It helps to get a temperature check. 😉

[Rune 1,099]

In my head, what he did was either skip order or tagged someone Jcink/Twitter style. 

If either of those is the case, it could be a matter of habit/unfamiliar with how your boards operate. But if they waited for the story to start, which I know is different from how others work, then they clearly know whats what in that case...

 

I wouldn't say you are being overly paranoid. Give them another shot, then its been three strikes. You warned them generically. You warned them personally (technically twice, we'll count it as once for wiggle room for the dumb) and one more time means they're too stupid to be helped.

[Uaithne 543]

Sometimes people do exactly what you tell them not to do even though it seems so clear. I used to get so frustrated when I'd do activity checks and ask for people to post following a specific pattern only to have people not following my instructions. Like they'd ignore the bold font, so I'd color it red and they would ignore that, too. I'd put a warning that people who didn't follow the pattern would not get included in the activity check, and they STILL wouldn't do it right. (Yeah, yeah, it's a bit drastic, but I was so annoyed that people could not follow the most basic of instructions. Like it I want you to write Johnson, Bob // level 12 potato wrangler, don't write Bob Johnson :::: level 12 Wrangler of potatoes because now I have to go and reformat all your stuff to fit the list of active characters. My 5 second task is now 30 seconds.) 

 

Anyhow, I don't think people are malicious if they don't follow instructions. Could be, but normally they're in a hurry, or don't really understand even if they say that they do, or they don't think it's important. They SHOULD follow instructions, though, and if they don't, take action. If it's something that could be confusing to someone who doesn't roleplay in your format, ask if they need help. Or explain why it's important that one follows rules even if they're simple. Etc.

[StormWolfe 557]

@Uaithne Thank you.

 

I am normally very chilled out when it comes to this stuff. We have edit buttons for a reason after all - anything can be fixed. However, it has been a very long time since I've dealt with new people at my games (Nova did not attract many). I am learning too and documenting the bigger things that I took for granted in the wiki. Admittedly, I am out of the habit of being able  to read simple incomprehension vs. someone trying to be an actual troublemaker.

 

Asking for counseling here is helping me keep perspective. 

 

Sadly, I am also the only Admin, GM, chief bottle washer, planner, plotter, and disciplinarian 😉  I have one trusted member that I talk to alot but he tends to be only a listener and rarely offers advice. It's one thing I love about him. He lets me ramble. Feedback is scarce though.

 

Therefore, again, I appreciate everyone weighing in. It is honestly keeping me from banging me head on a brick wall until it's bloody. 😄

[StormWolfe 557]

Well,

 

I kept my temper, was patient, pointed said person toward help in our wiki and other resources, answered the same questions many, many, many times, was seeking help in how to handle the situation (here), and....

 

The person quit.

 

*shakes head and grins