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What're your red flags?


Rune
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Please remember that this is a confession thread. 

 

As such, the intent is for users to express their personal thoughts and feelings about certain behaviors. While not everyone will agree about everything, this is not a space to debate or discuss the opinions shared within. Users who wish to do so are free to create a new thread in the appropriate categories, assuming The Initiative Code of Conduct is adhered to. 

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I once joined a site and on my first application I was told my character couldn't be as tall as I wrote because the face claim wasn't that tall. That was a pretty big red flag, actually. I laugh about it now, but I think it really said something about the mindset of the people approving the applications. Face claims are meant to be a physical representation, sure, but they're an avatar not the actual character. A face claim doesn't necessarily have the same scars or mannerisms, etc., as the character I'm writing, so details aren't necessarily exactly the same either. They're a stand in, nothing more, and to want to adhere so tightly to a playby's reality tells me that the staff is more worried about nitpicky things than about compelling writing. I'm not here for that, generally speaking. 

 

Less specifically, another red flag I have is when an admin makes it clear that they're not into being an admin but won't step down, won't contribute to running the site, won't appoint anyone to help keep things going, just kind of exist in a way that keeps everything in limbo and overtaxes the rest of the staff. I've seen this happen at two different boards I considered longtime homes and in both situations it lead to the rest of the staff (and in turn, the rest of the members) essentially burning out. When the staff is no longer invested, why should anyone else be? It demoralizes the member base and saps a lot of the joy out of RPing. If you're not feeling it anymore, that's fine, but don't drag the whole ship down with you. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Discord lurkers 
  • People who join a site and choose to make a very isolated character without any plots in mind
  • RPers who obsess over other people's characters, threads or plots and how they aren't doing things the way they would do them
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  • 1 month later...

People who aren't capable of sharing the spotlight - it often manifests as a need to command all character attention/dismissing other people's stories/showing no interest at all in other people's stories. 

 

There are a lot of narcissistic roleplayers around - often it's all about how to service and spotlight them. Usually in my preferred partners, I'll swerve that sort of thing!

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Sites were toxic behavior slips by without staff interference. I have been in too many communities that have been soured by members that were generally creating a hostile environment for the members that just wanted to write. Sites that allow for drama I stay away from. I write to relax.

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  • 2 months later...

 

  • People who instantly want to end a thread - especially when they asked for it in the first place. Obviously, some characters don't click but if this happens more than once or twice it's a big flag for me. 
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  • 2 months later...

Instant red flag: one members of staff complaining or disparaging other members of staff in the general chat areas. Especially when it's clearly some weird form of jealousy? Insecurity in RP communities is never a good sign.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Red flag, acknowledgment of new members for days, but active posting from board leaders. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

When staff members get no restrictions that members get. If I see a 3 day limit for FC reserves but then staff members have 8 FCs reserved indefinitely, it bugs me. 

Members that ask a ton of questions that are easily found in the site information. Staff members put a lot of effort into putting all of that information on there, and when people don't read it, it just irks me. I am so paranoid about being that person, that every time I have a question, I search through the site before asking even if I've already read it all. 

 

When people bring characters from another site without adapting them to fit the lore of the new site, and then complain when they are told they can't have XYZ cause it contradicts the site. I'll usually avoid writing with people who argue with the staff members about clearly written out lore. 

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>>> when staff members take all the important positions in a site plot.  

 

>>> passive aggressive staff 

 

>>> people who trauma dump in discord and ruin the mood 

 

>>> staff who can't take criticism

 

>>> when people cant' seem to let go of past rp trauma and bring it up at every opportunity.  

 

>>> when someone makes you wait several weeks for a reply, while they only seem to to want to prioritize ship threads and nothing else 

 

>>> staff members who always use/hide behind their mental health problems as an excuse for why it takes them so long to do any staff duties.  to me this just tells me that they're the kind of person who uses their mental health ailments as an excuse, and they are unable to take accountability for their slowness.  a lot of time staff who do this are also the types of people who will complain about not wanting to do staff duties, while they keep putting it off.  and just shouldn't be staff. 

 

>>> people who decide to make sites out of spite after leaving another.  i just feel like these tend to be the same kind of people who will continuously bring up past rp traumas at ever opportunity

 

>>> cishet staff/members trying to dictate how to rp different gender identities.  and/or try to dictate how neopronouns are to be used. 

 

>>> gatekeeping 

 

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A lot have been covered, but lately I've run into a few admins who don't want to be talked to. Like one would make a huge deal about "Don't DM me unless I say it's okay in the public chat." At first I thought they were getting unsolicited messages... but no they meant every time. Like we were plotting something with my new character and one of theirs (which was THEIR idea to begin with?) but I was "not allowed" to DM them my questions.

 

I noped out of there really quickly. I don't think admins need to be accessible 24/7 of course, but that was too much for me.

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  • 3 weeks later...
  • Heavy emphasis on ex-military in a background.  Bonus wariness if they are ex-special forces.  Double-bonus if they were deployed to Iran or Afghanistan.
  • Blind or deaf characters who never have any struggles because of their disability.
  • "Can I play someone younger than your game's minimum age requirement?"
  • Games where staff play "NPCs" that have access to information regular players don't... and spend their time using those NPCs to write smut instead of advancing the plot.
  • All the canons are being played by staffers.

Last but not least...

  • Every character that's ever used Chris Hemsworth as a PB ever.

Santa Rosalia • Original Modern Fantasy • rosaliamush.com

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  • 4 weeks later...

- When I see staff has all/almost all of their characters shipped to characters of the same one or two people.

- When in the OOC Discord, members not shipped off to staff are ignored.

- A rule that says not to block anyone in the discord 

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  • 1 month later...

A personal one: being constantly badgered for replies despite stating that I am an adult with 2 jobs and a life outside of RP. Writing is a hobby and when it starts to feel like a 3rd job it sucks all the energy out of me.

 

Also, a lack of accepting people’s personal boundaries despite that they’re clearly stated ( either somewhere on forum or to said person directly ).

Edited by ragnarokkva
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  • Operations Mod
On 6/22/2022 at 6:09 AM, ragnarokkva said:

being constantly badgered for replies despite stating that I am an adult with 2 jobs and a life outside of RP. Writing is a hobby and when it starts to feel like a 3rd job it sucks all the energy out of me.

 

This right here. It's always been an issue, but it got so much worse during the height of Covid. Like yeah, I get that a lot of people were stuck at home with no job and nothing to do, but I'm front line essential medical staff. I didn't get any time off. I got to work 50-60 hour weeks to keep up with demand. I have forced, mandatory 8 hour weekend OT at least once a month. Even now I barely have a life outside of work because of the hours. RP is my primary source of stress relief. Nag me and see how fast I drop a RP partner. 

 

That mini rant to Segway into another red flag: Players that will keep you waiting weeks to months at a time for a reply, then within 1-2 days start nagging you for a post just cause they see you replying to another player who replies in a timely fashion.  

 

Get Out Bye Felicia GIF

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1 hour ago, Dragon said:

That mini rant to Segway into another red flag: Players that will keep you waiting weeks to months at a time for a reply, then within 1-2 days start nagging you for a post just cause they see you replying to another player who replies in a timely fashion.  

 This but also leading into another red flag.

Those that don't post for weeks on end and when they do post its smut with their ship partners then say 'its what I got muse for'. No love, you're horny its ok to admit it, but don't lie to my face about it especially when after weeks of not posting anything, you fired off five smut posts within 3 hours.

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