Whenever I don't get to share a bed with my SO, for whatever reason, I tend to have pretty strange and wacky dreams. For the last two nights this has been the case.

I rage quit on my dream last night because in my dream, we had a guest over. There's no other way to say it- our guest was morbidly obese, but was still capable of walking herself around. She announces to everyone: "I've got to pee." So she gets up. Walks into my room. Lies down on my bed... AND PEES ON IT.

RIGHT. IN. FRONT. OF. ME.

I'm quite upset about this for obvious reasons and am like "YO. Why the fuck you peein' on my bed?" Actually, that's the nice version of what I said. I made her feel very bad, but instead of just being sad, she tried to argue back with me. ABOUT WHY IT'S OKAY TO PEE ON MY BED. It's fine to pee on my bed, she says, because it's hard for her to sit on a toilet. This made me go quiet for a second, because okay, honestly, a big part of my line of work is helping people sit on a damn toilet LOL, and then I remembered, BITCH I SAW YOU WALK IN HERE AND CLIMB ONTO MY BED which seriously in all honesty cannot be any easier than sitting on the shitter, and so instead of arguing with her further I just legit rage quit on my own dream and woke up.

OMG. I'm still worked up about it. Guys, I love sleeping literally more than anything else I'm not even kidding so PEEING ON MY BED IS JUST ABOUT THE BIGGEST SIN YOU CAN COMMIT AGAINST ME, DON'T DO IT.