I am desperate. I don't know what to do anymore. It feels like talking to the walls... and I wonder what I have done so wrong in my childhood in order to deserve this at mature age. I wish that, as so many parenting books exist, how to make a stubborn child obey, eat or take medicine, it should also exist books how to take care of old parents. How to make a stubborn 89 years old eat, or take the medicines according to the posted schedule (and to my phone calls, because I never let it only to the printed schedules, I remind her). And to obey me in general, because she is doing everything NOT how I told her to (and how the doctors tell her in some cases).
I wish I mattered... and yes, I know she loves me, but she would wish me to obey her now, like I did when young. She thinks she knows everything and she is always right, not accepting to be contradicted (when even what she used to know, isn't valid anymore, and I remind her continuously that she is comparing things at distance of 30-50-70 years, and from two totally different social orders - socialism vs. capitalism- so she shouldn't because they are nothing to compare.) She knows better than the doctors, better than me, better than everyone, and she does only what and how she wants to, no matter that it is harmful.
I am green of anger this afternoon, after I heard that she started taking at 3 pm the medicines she had to take starting with 6 pm. I explained her again for the thousand times why the schedule must be kept, why I am always calling her, to remind her to take them when due, then... I am still the bad and disrespectful and crazy one because I shouldn't dare to talk this way to my mother. 😞