If I believed in Muse, like many people do and I don't, I would say that I have a rebellious, non-conformist muse now. Or, well, for the sake of this blog, I might still toy with this idea and imagine a mist-bodied muse enveloping me and luring me to adventures which are or not good for me... but they are definitely good for the story!

Actually, I have never believed in anything else than creativity and writing skills - which sometimes are drained when the mind is preoccupied with something else, and a return into the writing mindset helps with starting writing again. If the inspiration is lacking, but I have the quiet moments needed for writing, I am powering through, and I know I'll meet that elusive inspiration a bit later, over the corner.

I have extensively written alone before discovering RPGs. I like more writing with others, though. The thrill of sharing the creative process with a partner or more, of discussing ongoing and future scenes, of choosing together the path the story would go, of toying with several alternatives and choosing the best one, of bouncing ideas and creating together a better story than each one would have separately.

I would have liked also (even if less) the second alternative, of me writing but having it discussed with others in the process. It was how I was writing some of my stories in high school (I was writing, my friends were reading and discussing actively the current chapter and the upcoming ones) and in Uni (with my deskmate, at the beginning we wrote together, but we ended discussing together and me doing the writing).

I make sure not to owe posts to anyone for more than 2-3 days (the time I would like being let to wait too), while trying to post every day (which doesn't mean in every thread, since people post in sprees, and there are days I owe no posts and days I find myself owing 10+, so it is clear that I won't succeed to post them all in one day).

But some people are not like this. Some like making people wait for several weeks for a post which doesn't even contribute significantly to the story, leaving me to lead it in everything. They simply react to what happens around. Or they don't post their characters exactly where they are needed most in the story.

I do my best to lead and compensate... but sometimes it is tiresome to be the only one who makes the effort when it should have been collaborative. It affects my enjoying the story like it would affect you if your favourite soap opera had an episode at 2-3 weeks only. And this is the reason why I got a moody, rebellious inspiration lately.

I think it is different when you write alone knowing from the start this is what you would have to do and not expect any help, vs. knowing it shouldn't have been a lonely endeavour. I had no such problems when I was writing my stories, but this was probably because if I didn;t know what to write next, I could write another upcoming scene for which it wasn't time yet, and bridge the gaps later, or take a break and research without having anyone waiting for my next instalment.

OK, so I don't write outside the forums now, and my problem is not that "I am bored waiting for posts and I should join another board". Not at all. First, I am never bored, I always find something to do/ something to write. Secondly, I shouldn't have joined my latest board either... if we speak in matters of time, and this was why I am not a member of any other board than mine now.

My problem is that I am frustrated at those who are stalling the ongoing stories, as there are several ongoing threads - chapters of our story - which are progressing at snail pace, and I feel I can't come only by myself with ideas for ALL the ships and islands, if the others don't - and yes, I have asked. And for this reason, lately it seems that I have more ideas for threads/ stories involving my own characters (and NPCs eventually) than for those involving others...

How bad is this? How bad is that I wish to be the one to follow a plot suggested by someone else, instead of doing always the opposite - me finding the ideas and getting the others to follow?