Putting Yourself Out There

[Mistress Of The Obvious 73]

One thing whether it's coming up with my own site or considering joining someone else's is putting myself out there. This can be advertising, interest checks, or sometimes just making comments. I often feel like I'm being judged and think I need to come up with a perfect comment or answer when I know this isn't often the case. What do you do to overcome it? I think we've all been there.

[Byrn 102]

A good ol' "fuck it" suites me. Then I lean into it full tilt, most times I am absolutely sure I am being ridiculous in the event that I put myself out there. I try to forget about it after doing it, stepping away and disconnecting. If I don't give myself that breather moment of, 'okay you did it, now relax', it will spiral into the sort of conversation you think about five years from now. Like that one time I pulled into the Starbucks drive-through and the conversation went something like this:

 

"Welcome to Starbucks! I am Becky, what's your name?"

 

"I'm good how are you?"

 

...

 

She had to ask for my name twice and we both pretended it didn't happen. 

 

I've come to realize, acknowledging the awkwardness helps let a lot of things go. 

[Fr0sty_tbs 5]

There was something I learned from practicing martial arts that when I applied it to my everyday life it drastically helped improve my quality of life online and off.

Too much thought, Stop thinking about it and just do it.

Aka, if you think too much on doing a thing you're soggy lump of electrically charged bacon-fat organ that floats around in nasty ass salt water(Brain) is going to give you all the reasons not to. Don't let it, do the thing, even if it sucks, even if it makes you uncomfy because after that initial uncomfy-ness you'll feel better that you did it. (Disclaimer: To an extent obviously. Not saying go do shit that wrecks you mentally and physically because of previous traumas). 

Also, people have this whole hang up about shit being awkward; A golden rule I've always lived by is 'it's only awkward if you make it that way. So don't.' Easier said than done, but if the other person is making it awkward then it's their hang up, not yours, continue as you normally would and ignore the awkwardness they're bringing to the situation.

[Neowulf 5]

Similar to the others, I guess - at some point in life I developed the skill to just say "screw it" and stop caring. We're all strangers anyway, right? I can deal with a stranger thinking I'm weird. Usually it's worse for us than the other person, they probably won't spend any time thinking about it, and will probably forget about it. ^^' So we can let go, too. I try to put myself in it like, "if it was someone else saying this thing, would I judge them or spend like a week hating them for the specific wording they used?" Answer is no. So they're probably not going to do it either!

[Cootie 2]

Honestly I am at the point now where I accept that I may not be welcomed in certain RP circles. It's a great way to test the waters though; I pop into a Discord server, I chat to a few people, if my personality is not too well-received then I move along.

 

If I can't chat freely with other players OOCly, it's unlikely that we'll jive very well while writing together. I like to know this kinda thing right out of the gate!

 

So yes, TL;DR: I saw 'screw it' and hope for the best ahaha.

[deimosphoibus 2]

People often say that we only regret the opportunities we don't take... and that is mostly true, or at least it has been the case for me in many cases. The worst case scenario is, I join a group and maybe I don't vibe with anyone there. In that case, I can just leave it if I don't like it, no hard feelings.

 

But the best case scenario is I get to meet cool people and make genuine friendships. I used to be really anxious when I was younger,  which caused me to almost back out of joining a particular group I was interested in. I joined at the last second, because they had a limited amount of members. But it was in that group that I met some of my coolest friends. We still RP together, even if it's not on that same group! I'm glad I got to meet them and I hate to think of what my life would be like had I given up on joining that group.

 

Anyway my point is, sometimes the risk is really worth it!

[Rhindeer 217]

I just do it, lmao.

 

Mind you, I'm a socially anxious/awkward mess with a combo of ADHD/autism, but for some reason online I can just shut off my brain and go for it.

 

I think it helps to realize that we're all just as anxious--and that we're all also just a bunch of fucking nerds here to play pretendy funtimes. So I have no problem swinging in like a wrecking ball and throwing plots/characters in peoples' laps. I think it also helps knowing that most people HATE making the first move, so if I'm the one making the first move, people tend to be pretty grateful and hyped! xD Also, people love it when you show genuine interest in them and the characters they've probably poured a lot of heart and soul into. It makes them feel good (doesn't it make YOU feel good, too?) so starting there has always lead to success.

 

Idk man, it's worked for me so far! 8D

[Elena 546]

I just do it. Indeed, we only regret the opportunities we don't take.

 

And if I could do it when not being a native English speaker and not understanding some of the slang others spoke in, you can do it too... 😍

(For example of awkward, I asked if somebody wanted to continue a thread or not, and I expected a yes or no. I received a „I am good” instead, which I interpreted as „I am a good girl”, not being familiar with the expression meaning that it is enough or something. And I kept asking the question in the c-box and getting the same answer, because an American could not think that I am asking for several times because I did not understand her answer, and a Yes or No would have been better...)

[Xerca 1]

I am in a mix of being very socially anxious and also being in the "scew it" camp. As much as I really like to reach out to people in groups and ask them if they want to rp with any of my characters, I am terrified of doing it because my brain is trying to tell me I am "annoying people" by just asking! Even if it is one of the most common thing to ask people on a roleplay site XD "Do you want to roleplay?" It's what everyone's there for!

I still do it, though. I still reach out. It doesn't really get easier, but dammit I will keep throwing my brain at the problem anyway because I know how happy I get when other people reach out to me, so I want to do it in return as well even if it scares me half to death!

[Finn 3]

I try to just put myself out there. As someone wisely said up above if the conversation isn't flowing offgame, it will probably be a ingame problem too.

 

With advertising I honestly convince myself (it's not as easy, I know) that my board is effin' amazing and that people ought to love it, so I have to spread it everywhere, obviously. 

 

Sometimes it works. 🤫

[huntandmoon 5]

It's taken me years to get to this point, but I'm mostly of a solid "eff it" any more when it comes to actively approaching other people. Same reason I will advertise the heck out of a site; like, no one's going to rp with me if I don't talk to them, and no one's gonna know my site exists if I don't tell them, eh? 

[Malikgrippen 0]

A very good idea

[mint 1]

I have found that saying "screw it" is at least 80% of it for me. The other 20% is me fully letting go of what I think is "expected" or "required" of me (re: saying the right thing) and just saying what I mean and highlighting what I think makes what I'm presenting fun. 

 

It was so hard initially but the more you do it, the easier it becomes! No one's been mean to me yet. 🤪