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About This Coterie

The general non-RP discussion. Join in here.


  1. What's new in this coterie
  2. Get a novel traditionally published this year. Get this place cleaned up. Be more productive. Find a way to set up a more accessible/low maintenance food and herb garden this year.
  3. SithLordOfSnark

    New Years Resolutions

    Lose at least 50 pounds in 2019. Don't spend extra money we can't really afford.
  4. -Get a dog. Already have my eye on a couple rescues. -Get a working car. Probably around tax season. -Practice dancing choreography with my sis and our friend. -Cook more often with the husband. -When GOT7 comes to LA, see them. (Haven’t missed a show of theirs in LA since they debuted. ♥️) -Go to Seattle with my sister and my BFF. We’ve been planning since the middle of this year. Can’t wait to see my BFF again!
  5. If you have and are willing to share! Share them with us!
  6. To answer this succinctly: NOT. WELL. I tend to want to hide when stress comes after me, whether it's hiding from forums I'm on, people I care about, or even literally hiding in my bed and staying there all day. When it comes to stress + handling a RP site, I've been a lot worse in the past. Not too long ago, I had exceptionally high levels of stress which came after my longtime RP site closed. Without it, I wasn't sure what to do with myself. So I joined sites and left them a few months later. I built sites, thinking maybe if I was running them, I'd be less likely to flake but I couldn't handle running a RP at that time and had to close what I was doing. I sound like a flake but I wasn't always one. I used to be quite adept at being a part of 10+ sites at a time, running three of my own at the same time. I wasn't stressed--it was my life at the time! But since then, I've begun attending classes, I have a more robust social life, I'm closer to my family, and I've been spending more time with the husband and pets. I've been going on trips and my health took a dive so I've been going to appointments (at least 2-3 a week for several months rawr). Still, I'm proud that I've been able to keep things running on my site. And it's in no small part due to the patience of the members! As long as you have a core member of patient members that'll have your back no matter what's stressing you out IRL, I think you're pretty much set! I agree with Kit that you need to take time for yourself and that you need to lower your expectations for yourself. It's OKAY to not be the ever-present admin! It's okay to take time to yourself, even if all you're doing is napping or reading a book or watching a film. Maybe get out and get a change of scenery. Don't let being an admin of a roleplay hold you down or fill you with anxiety. You need to just close your eyes, take three deep breaths, and try to realign yourself.
  7. I've had similar. I was juggling five different jobs, one which starts early morning, another that's 9-5, and the other two that go late into the night. My commute was an hour either way, assuming that the trains and trams were running to schedule. A fifth job was own set hours but also mean't that I had to be always switched on for it. The majority of my jobs involved a lot of peopleing. Then I wanted to RP and play games and just relax by myself! Worth noting that it wasn't all five jobs everyday, but I was cramming a lot into my days and weeks. I learnt during that time that I resent any job that invites itself into my private time. I also learnt that I need my alone time, without it, I'll get seriously foul with other people. (I'm also prone to panic attacks so poor sleeping patterns and stress really wasn't helping.) Ultimately, I had to cut down to one job despite the risk involved (my industry is not a stable one). With the extra time, I found I could admin a RP site. Great! I had to learn there too. I learnt that I struggle to maintain the kind of social outgoing chatty demeanour that seems to be expected of admins. That particular chore is the fastest way to burn me out. So, first piece of advice: focus on what you can change. You can't change your job, so spend less energy worrying about it (as much as that is possible anyway!) Second: Look at your RP site and ask yourself how you can cut back on your duties so that you feel less overwhelmed. For me, that would actually mean going, this particular task is my task. Your other staff members should also have designated tasks to ensure that your forum continues running as expected. Obviously, people should be able to support each other by covering should life happen. You might also think of ways to cut down on staff load. For me, I always look for ways to empower members to do things for themselves. This can be as simple as archiving/closing threads themselves. For things that only a staff member can do, is there a simpler way to do it? Interrogate your processes to ensure they're as efficient as can be. Third: ensure you have time to yourself, doing whatever. In my mind, this is the point of a schedule. Making sure you have set aside time for life. Now honestly? An actual formal schedule is useless for me. I prefer to go, what are my goals for today? Keep them realistic. Schedules are unhelpful for me because I'm wasting time thinking about all the things I need to do and writing a schedule, rather than just doing what I can and then enjoying life. In saying that, a lot of people seem to get a lot of joy from blujo. Judging from your lovely site, I suspect you might be a visual thinker? Maybe you'll get some joy from that. Finally: alter the expectations you have set for yourself. It wasn't realistic for me to expect myself to be this extroverted person in discord, when I am genuinely drained by socialising. Perhaps you have some expectations for yourself that aren't realistic because they're contrary to who you are. If you're curious about actual stress management: I found mindfulness exercises to be very helpful. You may or may not find the same. I hope even one of those suggestions help! It really sucks to feel so overwhelmed all the time and know that you're not being your best self. And all this after you've been brave enough to try and start a life in a new country! 💖
  8. The last year and a few months for me have been insanely stressful. Last September I had moved to Japan without a job. I had two months to find one. Thankfully by the end of the hurdle, I did. The place is great, however, my position involves a lot of responsibilities. I thought that after my first year it would get better, but sadly it hasn't. I have tried so many things to try and help the situation. Most recently I started watching youtube videos on how to make and stick with daily schedules. I've tried this app called Fabulous that helps with these daily schedules, but only goes so far before you have to pay to continue to use it. I had talked to my friend about how stressed I am and how on some days I just give up and turn into this horrible mess of a person that ends up shutting others out. He thought that scheduling alone is not going to help and that a change at work is going to have to happen... I've tried talking to my boss before, but I doubt any change will be happening soon. Things might stay the same for the next six months. To add to this, I run an RP forum which has sadly added to my stress levels. I've been lucky enough to have found staff members (along with a co-admin) that are understanding and have been able to run things while I work during the week. Still, it' something that gnaws at me for not being an ever-present admin. So here I am now, wanting to hear your own stories in hopes of finding kindred spirits and maybe even finding something that might help me with this busy schedule and the crazy amounts of stress.
  9. I'll always have a special spot in my heart for the Suikoden, Shin Megami Tensei, Pokemon, Fire Emblem, Harvest Moon, Final Fantasy series, etc. But these days, I mostly play visual novels, mystery/horror games, and tablet games. I'm currently playing a Zero Escape game called Zero Time Dilemma.
  10. Kate Bush is mesmerisingly witchy. (Music video for Babooshka!)
  11. english

    Last thing you copied

    This is where the empires converge. Borders must be patrolled and defended often. (This is from my rp site! 🤣)
  12. I'm shorter than you imagine. I wish I was as muscly as people think I must be for how much I talk about working out/eating well. I have a lot more opinions than I typically give because I don't feel its worth fighting on the internet over. I don't intentionally make CILFs, it just sort of happens. I have on-going hip problems but I still go out and run anyway.
  13. Bodybuilding. I have made the attempt a few times but seem to lack the time commitment necessary to really make it a thing.
  14. While I have no love for archery (I'd much rather just shoot firearms), the horseback riding would be pretty cool. Though around here it's pretty expensive. Offhand there aren't any hobbies I really want to get into at the moment. I have more than enough on my plate as is hobby wise. (I play video games, I go to the range, I've started making bullets myself, I play board games with friends. Plus I work a LOT... there are days where I have spent 16+ hours at work.)
  15. I'm that person who has to be careful when picking up hobbies, because I inevitably get in too deep; I'm incapable of skimming. See: the thousands of dollars of digital camera equipment and the hundreds of hours spent learning React for no particular reason other than it seemed like a good next step in Javascriptage. Also I knit. I picked it up when I was a junior in college and a friend got an awesome new roommate who taught everyone the basics. I began with scarves (like you do), moved up to hats, socks, sweaters, the fanciest and most complex of cabley colorwork things, at which point figured this stuff was okay, but was it really handmade if the yarn was store-bought? This logic led to the purchase of a spindle and a deep dive of the world of spinning -- and if anyone has been looking for a truly relaxing hobby, it's spinning yarn -- but I wasn't really getting the full experience without a spinning wheel (sidenote: long drive to the guy with the wheels for sale on Craigslist -- he was a serious business dollmaker, and his entire house was covered in dolls of various shapes and sizes). BUT IF SOMEONE ELSE WAS PREPPING THE WOOL, WAS IT TRULY MY PRODUCT? Enter the bags of raw fleeces, the hand carders, the combs. And it's not like I've spun all the yarn I've ever knit with since, I just want to be able to do it. You know, in case civilization collapses, and everyone needs mittens. All this to say that all that I'm pretty sure the only remaining piece in the sheep-to-sweater process that I haven't taken upon myself for the completionist aspect of it (other than shearing, but I can't actually keep the sheep, so ...), is dyeing. Unfortunately doing it right requires basically a whole new kitchen and everything that goes in a kitchen ... But it's on the docket for one of these days.
  16. @Kit the HumanYes but in Inquisition you can court Iron Bull where in Awakenings you can't even try with Sten #GoneQunarinotSorry
  17. SKYRIM I have so many hours dumped into that game it's ridiculous... Dragon Age, Wildstar (I will miss you), Diablo 3, Hearthstone, Elder Scrolls Legends, Magic The Gathering Arena, Guild Wars 2. I used to raid hardcore in World of Warcraft, but I haven't played in years. Tried Final Fantasy online, but I just don't have time to play a subscription. Rather use the money for other stuff. On mobile, I love Pokemon Go. I'm also a fan of any game I can build and expand my own medieval/fantasy kingdom.
  18. But you can't drop a chandelier (lyrium container) on a bunch of broodmothers in Inquisition, making it far inferior to Awakenings. 😉 I'm seriously enjoying Fallout New Vegas at the moment. The Mojave Desert feels lived in, in a way that FO4 never did. Plenty of laugh out loud moments, soundtrack is very creepy (think it comes from FO1/2?), and plenty of interesting characters. Loving it.
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