Disciplining a Problem Player

[Anonymous 234]

When you discipline a member, how do you do it? Do you send them a warning message telling them you're planning on disciplining them? Do you tell them why? Do you just doll out the discipline in the same breath you tell them it is happening?

I have a long-time problem player and I've planned for months how to handle them and their next break out problem. Some of the issues they cause are slowly being handled by rule updates and some other major changes we've been making to the site, but more severe measures must be taken. A continued problem has recently reared its ugly head once again and I have the discipline ready, but I don't know what the best way to deliver it is and could use some advice. How do you deal with disciplining members? Do you explain yourself? Do you detail the next steps?

 

I'm mostly struggling with how much the message to this player should include. I value the privacy of my members, so detailing their complaints regarding this problem player might out them, which I absolutely do not want to do, particularly as one of the complaints is bullying and manipulative behaviors. Also, many of the complaints are not consistent. In some complaints, I favor this individual, and in others, I hate them (I feel neither, I'm quite bland about the whole thing but it is obvious this person says what they want to others based off of the situation). Do I only mention the problems that admin have specifically with this individual and only allude to the complaints we receive? Do I owe an explanation at all?

Anonymous poster hash: d5652...0a6

[Dragon 673]

1 hour ago, Anonymous said:

Do I only mention the problems that admin have specifically with this individual and only allude to the complaints we receive? Do I owe an explanation at all?

 

Before I offer any advice here - have you addressed any of the issues directly with the problem member prior to this? Or is this the first time you will be approaching them directly?

[Shades 676]

First things first, I'd say making rules to fit problems is not always the best approach, but I won't approach that now, as I'll focus on your problem member. There are behaviors that are not acceptable regardless of whether or not there are rules to fit them. Bullying, harassment, discrimination, etc.

 

So, if this member is ' long-time problem member', I would at first explain the unwelcome behaviors they display, and what conduct is desired of them. Then I'd give them (stated or unstated) an amount of time to adjust/stop the behavior and watch them like a hawk (at this point there would be a report about them in the staff-only forums) to see if improvements are made. If they're just clueless, they will start taking steps to improve. If they're malicious, they won't.

 

If they don't want to change at all, then you move on to discipline as the next step, up to and including a ban if the situation is egregious enough.

[Deacon Frost 196]

Problematic players will always exist. They are a fact of online existence. But they come in a lot of different varieties. On my board we have an autistic player with a rather cynical sense of humor. I have known him for about 6 years now. So I know he is never intentionally offensive. He's also not a native English speaker so some things get lost in translation and culture shock can be a real thing. But despite my feelings of affection for him, I will gently go into counseling sessions with him over DMs and ask him to tone down certain comments, or contain certain things to specific channels. Making it clear I know he's not trying to offend anyone but some folks get hurt. This works for us because we have a solid foundation and he isn't INTENTIONALLY being an offensive person. 

 

But I have also been on boards with people who just like to stir the pot. On one board there was a girl who constantly contradicted everyone and made passive aggressive comments. Always careful to avoid direct confrontation. But then once other players got into a fight that she had stirred up she'd post gifs of real house wive's sipping tea. It was OBVIOUS she was a toxic player. I could never understand why the Admins kept her around. I complained several times about it and was always told that she was just "immature" because she was only 19 and she didn't mean any harm. But from what I saw she was actively breeding a barrier of contempt between groups on the discord server for the RP. 

 

In her case I would have banned her the second time she started a fight by being snide and then posted a gif of sipping tea. Because that is blatant trouble making. She would have gotten 1 warning. Then boom, gone.

 

In the case of a player accused of bullying and harassment I would try to verify the story. PM history? Screenshots of the Conversation? Some information so I can get an unbiased opinion on the conversation. But if in my judgement the player is actively bullying or harassing others then they would get 1 warning, be put on probation and if a second problem arose they'd get the ban-hammer. I have no room for toxic players. 

[Dun 68]

It really depends on what the issue is and what you're doing about it, but in general I'd say be clear, concise, and decisive. If you know what you're doing, and it's worth a quick explanation-- contact them and do the thing.  Don't go on a long monologue about the issue and why you're doing what you're doing. You don't actually owe them an explanation, and you don't need to invite them to pick everything apart. Just do the thing. If you've somehow been plotting this for months, it's overdue, and you need to just get it done.

 

I'm getting the sense that the biggest issue is that this person is just annoying, though, which is less a matter of discipline and more of a matter of letting the community police itself. If people dislike this one player, they can choose not to interact with them. It's so easy to get around the weirdos, if you need to, and that typically means they'll take the hint and find their fun elsewhere. Your players who feel like they're being bullied in one way or another know this. I'd focus on concrete things happening on-site, unless you have reason to suspect they're doing something particularly awful, like sexual harassment/online stalking or something like that. . . in which case they should have been banned forever ago.

 

An added note on something I would not recommend: Don't start forming your game's set-up and rules around one pain in the rump. You don't need to change your game to try to keep annoying humans away. They'll either show up or they won't, and you can either force them into behaving/leaving or let things take their course from there. You don't need micro-rules outlawing every little thing, especially when they're really aimed at one or two people. Don't clog the rules up with things you don't need, and don't inconvenience everyone just to get at one person.