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Things I stress about as an admin...


Morrigan
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On 5/4/2021 at 8:03 PM, DivineRabbit said:

I always think I need better skins!!

 

But other than that- after ten plus years our admins ( me included) really dont stress much. We carefully put checks and balances in to take care of any issues that might arrive. We keep communication clear and we understand that all stories, typists, and forums have their highs and lows. We just got better at riding both and I think that takes time.

 

These are both me. I design my own skins, and while I know better than to switch out constantly, I almost always have a love/hate relationship with the current one.

 

And yeah, I do think it's worth mentioning that finding that balance and how to be not stressed about a game 24/7 is something you cultivate over time. It didn't come naturally for me, that's for sure. I'm sure tons of people here have been in tears over their games, just as I used to be in the early days. One thing I recommend is trying to find one other person as mod or admin whose judgment you really trust, and if possible, who sees things from angles you miss. It's easier to talk over bumps or worries and be objective about what worked and what didn't when you have that sounding board, and then you can learn from them. I've had so many times I've just rambled anxiously at my admin partner and come out the other side realizing I was stressing over nothing.

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I have gotten used to running sites on my own because whenever I have co-admins the members we have most issue with goes to talk to them rather than me, because I am less bullshit and more putting my foot down and most members want to be coddled. I get to hear from the other admins that the member wants this and that and they handle it without talking to me about it at all. Communication is the most important thing between myself and other staff and when I don't get that, it's just easier to run things on my own.

 

I try and create an open and welcoming environment but when people start talking about their horrible mental health and specific disorders I have to put a foot down. A lot of people suffer from mental health issues, but on a roleplay discord is not where you should open up about being close to the edge and forcing that upon people who can literally do nothing about it, making everything feel suffocated because they get worried but also are in a position where they can only sit on the sidelines or spend a lot of their time trying to make someone feel better when they may not be ready to deal with themselves. I am faced with protecting my other members and being the singular ball plank for this person.

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I think some things that bother me, is my site never growing (people not joining)

I than question my plot idea for my site.

 

Also I am not good at coding so I am learning little by little with a code I got from CTTW and I worry that people will dislike the skin I chose for the site or that I am not up to par with coding enough to keep things looking up to date for my members

 

I have anxiety and depression and I ALWAYS always second guess myself about most things. it is rough!

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If my lore is clear enough. I'm the lore admin on my site, and sometimes things that make perfect sense in my head don't translate as well as I would like on the page. I sometimes leave out important details because they're just so obvious to me that I don't realize that someone not in my head might not get it. I worry all the time if something I wrote is too vague or too descriptive/limiting.

 

But I'm also the person who is constantly adding to and taking away from my own worldbuilding, so it's naturally on my mind a lot.

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Posted (edited)

Last fall, I started a game in a sort of niche genre, did very little advertising, and got a ton of members/characters. My inspiration dried up and I eventually closed it. 

 

This spring, I started another game in a pretty popular genre, have been doing SO much advertising, and have only 3-4 dedicated members. I have so much inspiration, so naturally no one is joining. 😐

 

Edited by periphescent

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  • 2 weeks later...

We have a great community and I love every single person on it. Deciding to advertise has made me overly anxious. For months we kept this little baby to ourselves and grew it to where it is today. I'm so excited to bring new people to it, but at the same time it adds an element of the unknown. The unknown stresses me out as much as it makes me excited. The internet can be wild. 

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I think one of the larger fears I had at the time was simply the fear that nothing I did necessarily mattered to the people I was doing things "for". I felt like a name with a red color instead of a person, and when I'd plot with people they'd automatically consider it favoritism without even approaching me with plots...but if I plotted too much, I was somehow hogging the spotlight? There's such a weird stigma towards admins and how often they can rp/who they rp with that eventually I just grew to accept that if I wanted to roleplay the way I wanted, I could never be in a staff position. I'm far too open and honest on rp forums, and admins are often expected to be people-pleasing and sit in the background. It's very odd to me.

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