Admining Question

[M00N 2]

I have a question that has been on my mind for a while. I run a site and ended up having a member join that was rather "pushy" in the need for their plot to be taken. You see they joined created a character and everything was fine. Until they set up a wanted ad. They then spammed most of my members with the pushing need of asking them to take it. It got to the point where I ended up being informed of this only 24 hours after they had joined. I took to the site and PMed them a small warning asking them to respect the member's space and to not try and push wanted ads onto other members. Now I believed they read it because other PMs were sent to the members for mundane things like updating claims. Which they ended up doing. The only problem is that they have since done the action which I warned them.

 

I PMed them with a final warning. Since then that hasn't done anything on the site. Make threads or anything. I was wondering should I just leave them alone...or does one just ask them to leave?

[Sage 289]

Just leave them alone. You gave them warnings. If they ghost is it really a bad thing? 

 

A suggetion  would be to give them other places off site that they can post their want ad. Like here or another resource site. Or a rp resource discord. That way they can spam to their hearts content and they’re out of your hair

[M00N 2]

I was hoping that they would ghost. As horrible as that sounds, and it makes me feel like a bad person. 

 

I could do that route. Helping them find other places to advertise themselves on. I am sure that it could be taken if they put some effort into it. 🙂 Thank you Sage this actually helps a lot.

[Arceus 1,082]

When you reach the point where you hope they leave, it's completely within your right to just tell them to go.

 

However, my guess is they're just very new to RP, or very excited, and one generally wouldn't want to discourage being either of those things; they're not bad in and of themselves! Certainly pointing them in the right direction is ultimately more constructive, because it establishes good habits in them while this behaviour is hopefully still somewhat new, rather than essentially forking it onto someone else to deal with. Very excited members can be a handful, but it's a great thing when a new player is that excited to do things on your site! I'd take it at least partly as a compliment. It can be frustrating to deal with, but trying to work with them is both better for them, and for your conscience.

 

So, that said, tl;dr I agree with Sage. Try one more time with resources they can post want ads to and such, and if they're still being a nuisance, not listening, and making others uncomfortable, then perhaps put your foot down. All in all, decide where the line is, do your best to help out, and then don't waffle on it when you feel like that line's been crossed. Hopefully it works out!

[Morrigan 1,826]

Honestly? I think you were too harsh.

 

First and foremost... how many members came to you advising you that they were pushing this wanted ad? Just one? How did they push the wanted ad? Did you perhaps take into consideration that they were just fucking excited? It could even be that they stated it in a public chat every time someone asked them why they were excited.

 

I'm a person that when I join an RP I don't jump in halfway. I'm two feet into the deep end off the high dive.

 

Not knowing the full extent I think you were finding a reason to be mean to a new member that didn't fit your mold. Not unreasonable in most senses but I find that you may have been overreaching a looking for a reason to ban/not want them.

 

@M00N

[M00N 2]

I see. It could be that I may have come off rather harsh in asking that they don't push members. It wasn't just one member but a total of three that came to me asking what to about a pushy member. They wanted to know how to handle it in a nice way before I got involved. Which I did. I helped them explain to the member in a polite and nice way that they didn't wish to take the members wanted ad. But I only took to warning the member after the members themselves couldn't handle it.

 

I understand from that point of view I may have been rather harsh. Which is why I was asking what could be done. I never wished to make anyone who is excited about roleplaying the first time feel in such a manner. But I also think DMing someone in private discord and pushing a wanted ad should be allowed. Had it been only one person I wouldn't have said anything. But the fact was it was multiple people coming to me asking for my help.

[Morrigan 1,826]

So. Sorry, you're still being vague. Why couldn't these members "handle" this person?

 

@M00N

[M00N 2]

That they themselves told them didn't wish to take the wanted ad. In a nice way. Instead of just saying no, let the person down gently that they didn't wish to take it. 

[Morrigan 1,826]

And then?

 

I'm not trying to be an ass right now but I'm still only getting half of the story.

[M00N 2]

No, I don't think you are. Me asking is a way to right what happened and to not do it again in the future.

 

After they let them down stating that they didn't want the wanted ad. They explained to me that they were still being pressured about taking it. Even though they had told the member that they didn't wish to take the wanted ad. They came back to me to explain that letting the member down gently didn't work and didn't know what to do. Before I even issued the warning I spoke to the member about pushing the wanted ad. Explaining that it would be taking and that wanted ads sadly may take a while to get snagged up. I explained to them that it would maybe in the future be taken.

 

I came back later to another round from the same members explaining that they were still pushing the ad even after saying no. That is when I took to PMing them on the site. It seemed to help for a day until the member went to other members requesting the same thing. That was when the warning came.

[Morrigan 1,826]

Okay, so that's a different story than originally explained. A pushy member isn't always intentionally pushy and therefore my previous advice.

 

With someone that is constantly pushing there are other methods.

 

First things first.... do you still want this member on your site?

[M00N 2]

Yes. I have no issue with them on the site and want to see what they create. So I would like for them to stay and enjoy themselves as much as possible.

[Morrigan 1,826]

Then stop the warnings. That obviously isn't getting you anywhere. You need to provide them a constructive response that both encourages them to stay and encourages the right venues to get their wanted ad filled.

 

Quote

 

Hey XYZ,

So I've been advised that you've messaged another person about your wanted ad! We're just as excited as you to get you started on our site and to get your plots going! We have some awesome open threads (link a few here) that you could join into! We also recommend that you advertise your wanted ad on some resource sites (link site like the Initiative etc).

 

As it stands, we want to let you know that your continued persistence of members that are currently unable to pick up new members makes things awkward and will get you unintentionally blacklisted from playing with these members. We want you to feel welcome and are excited you're here but continued abuse of PMs and DMs could result in removal of your ability to use these features on our site.

 

To be sure that you acknowledge this we do require that you respond upon reading this. If we do not get a response within 48 hours we will assume this message is being ignored and may take further action.

 

Regards,

STAFF MEMBER NAME!

 

 

[M00N 2]

That is wonderful. Thank you 🙂 I will use that instead of the warnings. Thank you so much for the help Morrigan!

[Byrn 102]

So I don't have a lot to say about this member. I do have some advice for you and your members.

 

Your members can say no and request not to be asked again. I guess they have done that so they can block them for a few days to give you time to get things sorted out.

 

Thing is with discord, it really tends to bleed into message communications between DM and PM. It is so incredibly convenient to just DM someone that members often forget that the forum has a messaging system and so they forget to check. When I send a message of a 'warning' nature, I always track it and I always send a copy to their DM and introduce it as a copy of a PM sent. I've had PMs go unnoticed (because I track them and know if they have been read), so I tend to cover all my bases. Usually, if my warning is in regards to behavior on discord, I generally say in no uncertain terms if they continue, then they will be temporarily banned from discord.  And like Morrigan mentioned, we absolutely require a response.

 

Handle it the best you can, normally if it concerns harassment I request a screenshot from those complaining.