How do you Prefer your Rps to be Dropped?

[skyemoondancer 6]

I would prefer to be told so that I can make other arrangements instead of just holding up plots or whatever. That rarely happens though so I usually just move on after a little bit of not hearing anything from a person.

[Let-make-nice 39]

As an mod/staff/admin person, I would like to be told and I would prefer knowing if there is a reason the person chose to leave, particularly if it's something that the team can address and prevent in the future.  "Hey, it's not a good fit for me," is perfectly fine, but if there is a concern with activity levels, plottage, or relationships with other members, then I want to know so we can do better.

 

As a player, I think I can work with being ghosted maybe 90% of the time, but that is because having been around long enough, I tend to avoid character-defining entanglements with players I don't really know.  I do think it is polite, if you are leaving, to wrap things up with your RP partner. However, ultimately, once you're gone you don't really have much of a say on what happens to the stuff you dropped, and I think it is up to us, as players, to pick up that slack as creatively as we can. 

 

Personally I tend to gently reduce the importance of those characters in my character's lives, until whether they are present or not makes no difference.  If they're not a canon and everyone can live with it, I think it's also perfectly okay to vaguely assume that the dropped character is vaguely doing them offscreen until they're forgotten, or something similar. I've seen websites where people just assumed PCs died when their player left, and like.... that is just... weird to me. The world is a big place; surely not everything has to happen on camera, haha.

[musewithme 5]

I want to be told the truth, honestly. It'd break my heart if I was really into it, but it's better than them disappearing. I like to have the closure.

[Corvus 15]

Ideally I'd like for people to reach out and let me know, especially if they're a major player and have been very involved with plots. In that case, I'd like to know what to do with their characters in order to resolve the plot. Plus, if they poof due to an issue with the site or members, I'd like to know just to avoid drama in the future, and learn to recognize red flags earlier.

[Jor 13]

I prefer that people communicate -- explain that they're dropping the thread, and if possible, explain to me why. I like that feedback for future reference when RPing with that person or with others.

[Runa 23]

I don't mind if someone wants to leave a site because they've gotten bored, haven't gotten enough time anymore, or whatever reason they have. I'm not going to be annoyed at anyone for leaving. I'll be disappointed, yeah, but it's nice to be told so you can say goodbye and hopefully keep in contact if it was someone you wrote with regularly. It sucks to wait around for thread replies that won't ever be coming.

[Nevermind 64]

Abso-freaking-lutely just tell me you want to drop the RP. I won't be offended or angry, just tell me. I find it disrespectful and disheartening when someone ghosts knowing full well it takes twenty seconds to write and send a message.

 

Despite me telling my partners this, it's inevitable that some people will still just disappear on you. I think it's something everyone has to deal with at some point in their roleplaying career. 

[omnitricks 16]

Yes, please tell me if you want to drop it. You don't even have  to tell me the reason, I'm sure you have yours, buts its more important for me that I know how I can just finish off the thread.

 

I mean I might leave it on for a few months until I actually get to it, but I'd like to know if I can use your PC for concluding the thread (and the terms of if you have any) or whether I'd have to figure out a cockamamie reason for the end. Either way I'm more concerned with how to end it.

 

I'd do the same for my thread partners. At least letting them know whether they'd have to wait for me or not and whether or not they can sue my PC for whatever.

 

*Edit: yeah I know there is a typo there, but I decided to keep it because the idea is amusing lol.

Edited July 15, 2019 by omnitricks

[Sammiie 40]

As an admin of a forum rp, I definitely prefer a heads up. It's much cleaner that way and there's an understanding between two people, instead of someone disappearing forever and us admins thinking "ok they dropped us like a hot potato. An update would've been nice."

 

Very few people actually do come out and let us know they're leaving and won't be coming back; the ones who do are usually the long-time members that know us enough to realize we're not going to hate them if they have to leave for a while. 

[ArizonaRaspberry 35]

I... haven't ever really thought about this before, to be quite honest with you.

 

Roleplay is probably the only consistent hobby I've ever had. The only reason my co-admin and I had the idea to build our site was because we were both unhappy with things that were outside of our control, we had tons of character ideas and world concepts, and we wanted to play with people who enjoyed those and would play nicely with us OOC. Although we have a very small member base, I'm very confident in the idea that we've achieved a place where not only are we happy, but our members are content too, even if we're not necessarily the fastest posters or the most decisive people. Some of us even get together to play Don't Starve or just chill in the chat for a while posting memes.

 

That said, I understand if people choose to go someplace else, and as this is a hobby that I enjoy rather than something I want to impose on someone else I don't feel as though they owe me anything. That includes a formal "goodbye" or "I'm leaving your site".

 

As much I would appreciate knowing whether or not my threads will die, or whether or not I should set my canons back up for someone to adopt, that's why we've written certain time limitations into our rules. Not activity checks or anything, but if someone decides to ghost, we have the right to put those characters back on the market or close our threads within so many months.

 

I honestly don't blame people for just... heading out though. It's more comfortable to ghost on a site or a discord server than it is to tell someone you barely know that you're leaving. They'll ask you why, and you won't necessarily always have an answer or a good response, and typically you won't want to hurt their feelings, right?

 

I guess my point is that it's up to the player. I can't control their behavior, even if I wanted to, and have no preconceived expectations of them. You can't force someone to be there if they don't want to be, or to give you an explanation for why they would prefer to leave.

Edited August 31, 2019 by slowsadmariachi

[Skadi 36]

I would like to know simply because I can't fix something I'm not aware of.

[Magali 16]

I would like to be told, possibly with - at least - some small explanation. However, if I have been rping with them for a considerable amount of time (say, six months or more), it would be nice not to lose all forms of contact. I consider rping to be a way of making friends, not only a "business transaction" per say that is over when the people involved aren't writing anymore.

[Queen of Hell 16]

I've had both things happen and it honestly makes a difference for me. Usually after two weeks of silence, I move on from the plot and seek out other partners. I never ask for one's reasons why they ghosted, I know life happens. Maybe they ghosted because they're not comfortable with telling me that they're not feeling it.

 

And that's absolutely fine. I think its up to us how we handle that.

[Nu Dragon 4]

Ghosting has always been an ideal preference for me, as it shows me that the person no longer has interest in the role-play, or something else has come up in life where they can no longer take part. We simply move on, and if that person returns, we pickup where they last left off. 🙂

[AdAshtra 14]

@Nu DragonI stan the ghoster. It helps that Discord is around. If you drop the RP, drop the Discord it makes it easy to notify me. It just means you're no longer interested.

 

I'm a serial ghoster. I've ghosted almost everything except when I had admin duties to pass off, or I had a serious issue with a friend turned enemy. In which case they knew. Most of the time I've just ... gotten bored. It's not the board usually, just... eh. Sometimes you don't mesh well with the players. Sometimes the reason you're leaving is already known in the circles that need it. It's usually just a personal preference.

 

Can't please everyone y'know?