Online Life One of those things

[Amelia 25]

The last couple of days I have run into something that I have ran into in the past, some how not seeing a person face to face makes it easier to just bash someone. The situation is that I was working with a group on a project, unfortunately tensions were building up and things that irritated or annoyed people were not communicated. Which makes it hard to do something about the situation as I was not aware of it. It lead up to the point that people started to talk behind my back because they felt that they could not bring it up with me, for whatever reason. I like to think that I am pretty reasonable when given criticism, of course it depends on the forum if you blatantly attack me I can get defensive. If you just let me know that something I have done has hurt you or put you in a position you feel uncomfortable with you should let me know.  A situation cannot be resolved unless there is some form of communication with the person who you feel causes those things.

The result of those people talking behind my back is that they made it sound like it was all my fault, that I was the only one who messed up and that I was responsible for it all. I think this approach leads to more conflict rather than resolving it. I get I make mistakes, I am only human after all and I am very aware of the fact that I have weaknesses. Most of those things I did without realizing it and if someone does not point it out to me I cannot improve on it. 

Now I found out by accident that they have kicked me out of the group and I am no longer working on the project. Which is something I found very hurtful and as if I was dehumanized, no one ever communicated with me about that. The only that that happened is that people finally expressed there anger yesterday but it was all about them. Maybe I am just making it too personal or am I overreacting but all I feel is like this is now how you treat someone else. It is very disrespectful, especially since the situation started because they got a conflict with someone else I was associated with. I am my own person, I am responsible for my own actions but not for someone else's. 

Sorry for this super long rant, I just needed to get it out of my system. I don't want to be associated with any of them anymore. If you do not have the decency to talk to me when this is happening there is no reason for me to be in touch with you at all. 

[Death Kitten 200]

I absolutely feel you. I've been there, I've done that. People who get upset at you, and instead of talking to you about it let it fester, really just destroy everything. It's amazing how many problems talking things out can solve, and I wish more people would just realize this.

 

All the best in being able to let it go, and move on. If they aren't willing to communicate, then you're probably better off... But I know it doesn't make it any easier. I hope that being able to vent, and knowing someone else knows what you're going through, helps.

Edited May 3, 2016 by Death Kitten
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[Morrigan 1,826]

You know my feelings on the subject! I think they big dumb poopy heads! Not worth your time. Not worth your energy. Don't know what they lost.

[Amelia 25]

@Death Kitten Yeah and it is also amazing to see how many people find it difficult to communicate or perhaps do not want to. Instead of working to solutions they just unleash their frustrations at you and leave you dangling. This has happened to me on roleplay forums as well, when someone was just manipulating and playing people against each other. It really saddens me because the only reason I do this is because I enjoy it. 

They are not communicating at all, the fact that I had to find out on my own because they mentioned it somewhere else was the final nail in the coffin. They are not worth my energy and time, if they are not capable of communicating with me and conveying their issues it would not work anyway. The group had a rather chaotic way of working, not really doing what they said and that made it hard to get things planned. I like to be well prepared which was not inline with how they operated so all in all I think it is best. Still not fun when you are being used as a punching bag, for a moment I just felt like real shit and that no matter what I did I screwed up in peoples eyes.

@Morrigan Thank you so much <3 I really appreciate you listening to me rant about everything and nothing! 

 

[Morrigan 1,826]

I you dear @Amelia